Manzanita
by You Can Call Me Effie
Summary: Of all the fictional worlds Ella could've fallen into, she had to end up in Death Note.
1. Enter Protagonist

Ella blinked her eyes open from where she lay in the bushes. She wrinkled her nose. _Bushes?_ "What the..."

She stood up and looked around her, taking note of the things she saw. A building that might be a school, cherry blossom trees dotted around, a separate building across from the first, a black notebook laying not too far away, more bushes- wait. Since when are there cherry blossoms in Los Angeles? And why was she in a bush in the first place?

She stood up, wiping leaves off of her skirt. She froze. _Skirt?_

Looking down, she saw her outfit for the first time. She bit back a scream. Why was she dressed like a Japanese school girl?!

 _Calm down, Ella,_ she thought to herself, trying to control her breathing. _This is probably just some really weird dream._

As she looked around her, trying to gain her bearings, something caught her eye through a window. No, wait. Someone.

Someone who looked suspiciously like a fictional anime murderer.

Her eyes widened and she looked away. _No, no, no, this is the_ worst _dream ever._ Why the hell would she dream of Death Note when she hadn't seen or read it since she was twelve?

Wait. Death Note. Her eyes darted to the innocent looking black notebook she had noticed before. She bit her lip and clenched her fists, stumbling slightly as she backed away. _Oh hell no._

Turning away from the notebook, she walked a few steps, then paused. Was she really going to allow all those people's deaths to happen just to keep herself out of trouble?

Slowly, she turned around and crouched near the Death Note. _Am I really that selfish that I would run away rather than prevent anything from happening in the first place? Even if this is all a dream? Am I really that much of a coward?_ She scrutinized it some more before standing up again. Turning away, she once again made eye contact with Light Yagami.

 _Hell yeah I am._

She ran.


	2. Enter Light Yagami

A few weeks had passed since the dream had started and Ella was beginning to doubt it even was a dream. She'd read a few Death Note fanfics in her day, and this was beginning to feel like she was in one. It seemed like the only explanation. L had done his first broadcast with the Dummy L and Light had lost his temper like the rebellious teenager he pretended not to be. Ella had found that she was conveniently enrolled in the same school Light went, but under the name Manzanita.

 _So now I have a stupid name to go with my stupid situation._

She had also found out that uniforms were optional and had spent most of the past weeks cursing whatever entity thought it'd be funny to not only have her literally fall into a fictional, supernatural, detective story, but to also have her do so in a skirt.

 _Yagami probably got a real eyeful._ Ella snickered under her breath.

 _Alright,_ she thought, shaking herself out of her weird 'previously on" episode. _All I have to do is pretend I don't know who anyone here is, and I'll be good. Just pretend I'm not having a mental breakdown and that I don't feel like I'm in some sort of weird self-insert fan fiction. I'll be fine as long as Pretty Boy Murderer doesn't ask my name. Better still, I'll just avoid contact with any of the main characters altogether. Okay._ She nodded to herself. _Good plan._

She felt a light tap on her shoulder. "Excuse me?"

 _Bad plan._ Ella turned around to face the pretty boy psycho. _Light Yagami has entered the scene. Please hold your applause and watch closely. Enjoy._ She sighed internally, putting on a shy, nervous smile. The nerves didn't have to be faked, at least. "Y-yes?"

He smiled kindly. She felt like vomiting. This boy would become the most infamous murderer in Death Note Japan. Any kind expression, to her, seemed unnatural on his face. "I've noticed you're new here." He smiled genially. _This boy could win an Oscar._ "Would you like some help finding your classes?"

Ella forced herself to relax. _Okay, Ella. This is a role. You're talking to a nice boy. He just offered to show you around. Even though you've been here almost a month- No. You're new. He is very sweet and you need help. Use him._ She smiled prettily. "Actually, yes. I'd really appreciate you showing me around. Would you be able to point me in the direction of the advanced psychology class?"

Light's smile widened. _He looks like a shark,_ she thought. _And not in a good way._ "I actually have that class next, so how about we walk together?"

Ella smiled and nodded. _Shit_. "Let's get to it, than."

As they began walking, Ella noticed they were going in the opposite direction to the school. "Hey, uh-"

"So-"

They both paused. They smiled at each other. "You can go first."

A laugh. Ella shook her head. _Be charming_. "Never mind. What were you going to say?"

They continued walking, taking some roundabout route to the class. _He noticed I noticed._ Light smiled at her. "Well, if you don't mind my asking, what's your name?" Ella looked at him in surprise. Light continued. "I understand we should be weary about giving our names out on the street right now, what with Kira on the loose, but I've gotten slightly tired of calling you 'the pretty American' in my head." He smiled charmingly. _Is he... Flirting with me?_ Ella didn't know whether the urge to laugh was stronger than the urge to vomit.

She thought fast. "Manzanita." And then she felt like slapping whoever put her in this damned story. _Really, Entity? You had to go with a name that means Apple in Spanish? What the fuck? No, it's fine. He's not superhuman. He'll probably just think my parents hate me or something. He wouldn't be too far off, apparently._

Light started slightly. "Pardon?"

Ella- no, 'Manzanita' _(Idiot idiot idiot)_ smiled bashfully, ducking her head slightly. "My parents had a strange sense of humor," she said, looking up at him through her eyelashes. He looked confused, so she elaborated. "When I was born, my mom thought my face was as red as an apple. Manzanita means little Apple in Spanish, so that is what they called me." She furrowed her brows. "Then again, every baby is red when it comes out, so I don't get why I was the one stuck with the stupid name." _Please buy it, please buy it, please buy it..._

He smiled. "My name is Light. I think I know how you feel."

 _How the hell did he buy it?_ Ella smiled slightly. _No, Ella, don't look a gift horse in the mouth._

'Manzanita' smiled. "Please call me Nita. It's less of a mouthful." _Nita. I can remember that._

Yagami smiled back and opened the door. Ella- Nita _(shit)_ started. _We're here already?_

Yagami turned back toward her, still wearing that slight smirk smile. "You coming?"

Nita flushed and smiled slightly, ducking her head. _Nita's a little too shy. I'll work on that._ "Sorry, yeah."


	3. A Look Through the Eyes of Light Yagami

It takes a lot to peak Light Yagami's interest.

He'd been going to his mundane school, learning things he already knew, and if he didn't know them he would within the class period they were assigned. He prides himself on being the top student in his school, hell, he might even be the top student in Japan. He rarely comes across something he doesn't understand.

Mulling over his boredom and the redundancy of the so called teachers who probably weren't as intelligent as his right hand, he glanced out of the window.

He found something he could not seem to comprehend.

First it was the notebook. It had fallen out of thin air, and no one besides himself had seemed to notice it. He almost dismissed it as a trick of the light, or his mind hoping desperately for something interesting to happen.

But then the girl came falling after it.

He will make this clear to anyone who asks, (not that anyone would seeing as they're too oblivious to notice a teenaged girl falling from the sky, let alone a notebook) there were no trees from which she could have fallen. Nor were there any buildings that she could have fallen (or jumped) from. The wind was not strong enough to carry her as far as she was from the nearest elevated area.

Thus, he concluded, she had come with the notebook.

Her appearance should have been impossible. Light assumed she would have at least suffered some broken bones or head trauma from a fall of that height, but she had stood up almost immediately without even stumbling.

Until she had seen the notebook.

 _(Until she had seen me.)_

She seemed frightened of him. As soon as she saw him, she looked like she was ready to faint.

She had started away from the notebook, but then thought twice. She had crouched down near it, never touching it. She had stood a second time and turned toward him. She'd made eye contact.

And then she ran.

Light could only come to one conclusion about this odd occurrence.

 _(She made eye contact.)_

The notebook was for him.


	4. An Eventful EveningEnter Shinigami

After class, Ella practically ran home.

 _He knows, he knows, he knows..._

Light Yagami was a manipulative evil genius.

 _You knew that already._

 _Shut up, me._

Throughout the entire class, he had made conversation. Polite conversation. She wouldn't even think he was analyzing her if she didn't know this story by heart.

 _He must've met Ryuk by now and figured out I'm a completely different mystery._

It had started innocently enough. At least, she thought it was innocent. She should've known better.

 _Light tapped her on the shoulder from his seat behind her. They were both sat next to the window. Wonderful. "So, Nita-san, where are you from?"_

 _Nita smiled. "California. In America."_

 _"Wow, it must be really warm there."_

 _"Yeah. We're in a drought currently."_

 _He blinked at her, the calculating look in his eye almost masked by interest. "Really?"_

 _"Uh huh," Nita nodded, oblivious to her mistake. "It hasn't rained for four years."_

 _Light blinked. "Right."_

 _The bell rang._

She'd forgotten it was a different time.

It's 2003, not 2015.

 _Damnit, damnit, damnit..._

 _Now he probably thinks I'm a pathological liar. Or that I'm insane. Both are probably true._ She relaxed at the idea. _He doesn't know anything about me._

She had given in to the idea that this probably wasn't a dream. At least, not one she could get out of so easily.

She walked up the front steps of her apartment complex that had conveniently been provided for her and went into her apartment. 13L.

She'd had a good, long, hysterical laugh over that one.

 _At least there's actually pants in the closet._

That was because she'd thrown out almost all of the clothes that had been in the closet (besides a red dressing gown, a leather jacket she'd probably never wear, all the underwear that wasn't basically just lace, a masquerade mask, and an apple locket that had a note inside of it that said it would allow her to see shinigami and lifespans. She put it on to test it, went grocery shopping, and almost had a heart attack herself. She then tried to take it off, realized she couldn't, cursed every god she could think of, and resigned herself to the fact that she may very well be a Mary Sue.) and went out herself to buy clothes with the money in her brand new bank account.

 _My author must be nice._

She snorted. _Nah_.

After showering, Ella got a box of cereal, curled up on her tiny couch, and plotted.

How to Avoid Kira in Three Steps

Step one: Pretend you don't know him and avoid him and his creepy fan girls at all cost.

Step two: Once you've failed step one, move on to step three.

Step three: Wait impatiently for your inevitable demise at the hand of a power hungry high school student.

 _Well. That was no help._

She groaned. "How the fuck am I supposed to avoid Kira if he won't fucking leave me alone?!"

"Someone should keep it down. You've got neighbors, y'know."

She yelped, falling off of her couch. "What the fuck!"

"Language. I expected someone supposedly named Apple to be sweeter."

Ella looked up at Ryuk. And burst out laughing.

Ryuk scratched his head. "Not really the reaction I usually get."

Ella shook her head and held up her hand for the shinigami to wait.

Surprisingly, he did. When Ella felt sure she could speak without choking, she looked back up at him. "Sorry." She stifled a laugh. "It's-its just-" she choked slightly. "Has anyone ever told you that you look a melted crow?"

Ryuk stared. "Well, you're weird."

Ella threw the box at him.

He looked at the front of the box, temporarily ignoring Ella's raised eyebrow. "Apple Jacks?" Ryuk pulled out a handful of cereal (ignoring Ella's indignant "hey!") and threw it in his mouth.

He then proceeded to choke and spit out everything in his mouth.

Ella made a face, curling back up on her couch. "You're cleaning that up."

Ryuk turned to her, ignoring the mess. "Look, weird human. Why aren't you scared of me? Actually, how can you even see me?"

Ella raised an eyebrow. "I'm not answering anything until you clean up your mess."

Ryuk was suddenly right in front of her. "Listen up, human. I could kill you with my little finger nail if I wanted to."

Ella didn't blink. She'd honestly kind of been wanting to die to get out of this stupid anime. "Do it."

They stared at each other.

Ryuk backed away. "You're lucky I don't take orders from humans."

Ella snorted. _Lucky_.

Ryuk started hovering. "So, where'd you come from?"

"Mess."

Ryuk glared. "What did I just say?"

Ella glared back. "Do not, under any circumstances, clean up the mess you made in my living room."

Ryuk snapped his weird claw fingers and made the mess disappear, looking at her defiantly.

Ella snorted internally. _Men_.

Ryuk hovered. "So...?"

Ella got comfortable in her chair. "So... What?"

"So, how'd you get here?"

Ella shrugged. "I don't know."

Ryuk stared. "You don't know?"

She picked at her nails. "Nope."

Ryuk stared. "I'd advise you not to lie to a God of death, but I assume you've already realized we're temperamental."

Ella shrugged again. "I'd advise you not to provoke a teenager, but I assume you've already learned we're fucking insane."

Ryuk stood suddenly, staring at her neck. "Where'd ya get that?"

Ella started and looked down at her necklace. She played dumb. "I was born with it?"

"Not your neck, moron. The necklace."

Ella blinked. "Oh. From my closet."

"Before that."

Ella was honest. "It was in my closet when I moved in."

Ryuk held out a clawed hand. "Give it here."

Ella looked at the shinigami's hand apprehensively. _Ew. Does he not wash that thing?_ "I can't take it off."

Ryuk snorted. "Of course you can, it's not attached to you."

Ella glared. "No, it isn't. However, I've already tried taking it off and it won't budge."

Ryuk huffed. "Let me try."

Ella huffed back and crossed her arms. "Go ahead."

Ryuk tried to unhook the clasp. He then tried to pull it up over her head. Eventually, he tried using his claw to cut the chain. One weird flash of red light later, he ended up in a pile of plaster.

He floated up. "It won't come off."

Ella threw her hands up. "No shit." She stood up and went to the kitchen.

Ryuk floated after her, having already cleaned up the mess. "Whadaya doin'?"

She grabbed an apple from the fridge and turned to the shinigami. "I have some questions to ask you."

Ryuk eyed the apple. "What makes ya think I'll talk?"

Ella waved the apple slowly, watching Ryuk's head follow it. "I'm assuming you want to get the taste of Apple Jacks out of your mouth."

The shinigami visibly cringed. "Fine. I'll answer your questions."

Ella threw the apple and watched Ryuk eat it. "Good death god. Now, did Light send you?"

Ryuk looked at her quizzically. "How do you know about Light?"

"An eye for an eye." _What? Ella, calm your shit with the quoting._ "You answer my questions, clown bird, and I'll answer yours."

"This is gonna cost ya."

She threw him another apple.

"Yeah, Light sent me. He wanted to know if you were suspicious, which apparently you are."

Ella shrugged. "So, I'm basically just waiting to die at this point. No difference to before."

Ryuk snorted. "You can't die."

She froze. "What."

"That necklace you're wearing. It doesn't let you die as long as you're wearing it. Shinigami stuff. Not even the death note can kill ya."

Ella turned slowly in place once. "You're saying I'm immortal."

"No. I'm saying you can't die unless you take off the necklace."

She snapped. "BUT I CAN'T TAKE OFF THE NECKLACE!"

"You still have neighbors."

"My neighbors thinking I'm insane isn't something I'm too worried about at the moment."

"Weird human-"

"I have a name."

"Actually you have a lot of names."

"Oh god."

"I'll just call you Weirdo."

"Wonderful."

"So, Weirdo. What are you going to give me to tell Light you're not a threat?"

Ella shrugged and sat on the counter. "He can't kill me. I don't have anything to lose."

"Just because you can't die doesn't mean you can't get hurt."

"I think it does, considering your nasty ass claw didn't even graze my throat."

Ryuk hovered across from her. "Why are you so self assured?"

Ella shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I died. This is probably Hell. I'm a Mary Sue. My story is rushed, I probably have some tragic backstory that has yet to be revealed, maybe I'll even end up in some fucking weird ass love triangle with the most attractive main characters! Hell, maybe everyone will suddenly fall in love with me and I'll suddenly be mentally stable! I've been thrown-literally thrown- into this fucked up detective story where the only memories I have are things that haven't happened yet and palm trees. Honestly, clown bird, a shinigami and some super genius teenage fuckboy with a god complex aren't my highest priorities at the moment, though, rest assured, you are up there."

Ryuk stared. "I'm not on anyone's side in this game, Weirdo, but if I was I'd probably be on yours. Cause so far you're the most entertaining."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks, Ryuk. You sure do know how to make a girl feel special."

Ryuk tilted his head. "How do you-"

"Foreknowledge." Ella waved her hand dismissively. "Now leave so I can shower and sleep."

Ryuk stood and caught the apple she threw him. "Later, Weirdo."

And he flew through the wall.

Ella stared at the wall with the most deadpan expression on her face for a while, until she heard a knock at her door.

She went and opened it. "Hello?"

A familiar looking woman stood on the other side of the door. Ella tensed as the woman spoke. "Hello, my name is Shoko Maki. I live next door and I heard screaming so I came over." She flashed her badge. "I work for the FBI. May I come in?"

Ella rolled her eyes internally, cursing herself for even thinking she could have the rest of the day off from this stupid plot in this stupid world.

Nita smiled. "Yes, of course."


	5. An Ambiguous Interrogation

The meeting with 'Shoko Maki' went better than Ella expected it to go. So well, in fact, that 'Shoko' was now Naomi and Ella had managed to convince her to keep her findings between them so that they could gather as much evidence as possible to convict Light Yagami.

Well. Convict Kira.

Same difference.

'Shoko' entered the apartment, looking around as if weary someone would jump out at her. Nita cleared her throat and smiled a slightly confused smile. "Um, Miss Maki? Would you like something to drink?"

'Shoko' nodded and smiled back. "Water would be nice, Miss..."

"Nita. Just Nita, please."

She nodded, her eyes still guarded. "Nita, than."

Nita nodded and went to the sink. Ella groaned internally. Why can't I have a normal night? Why bring Naomi Misora into my plot? Seriously?

Nita brought the half full glass to 'Shoko', who nodded in thanks. Nita led her to the kitchen table.

As they sat down across from each other, 'Skoko' pulled out a voice recorder. She glanced at Nita. "Do you mind?"

Nita shook her head. "Not enough to protest."

She paused, glancing at Nita from the corner of her eye before pressing play. "You already know my name, however I don't know yours."

Nita put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. "Yes you do. Nita."

'Shoko' didn't react. "Your full name."

Nita smiled. "That's unnecessary. And unnerving. For all I know, you could be Kira and you only told me your name because you've nothing to lose." Shoko raised an eyebrow. Nita raised one back. "Unless, of course, you've given me an alias. I don't know which would be more suspicious."

'Shoko' smiled tightly. "You could do to be more cooperative, Nita."

Nita smiled lightly. "You could do to be more interrogative. Because this is an interrogation, is it not?"

'Shoko's' smile dropped. "Tell me, Nita, what exactly were you doing before I knocked on your door?"

Ella shrugged and slouched in her chair, suddenly too bored to stay in character. "Staring at a wall."

'Shoko'a' eyes flashed in confusion at her change in demeanor. She shook it off. "Why were you-"

Ella raised her hand to stop her, pulling over a pen and a napkin. "Look, 'Shoko', we both know why you came over. You told my yourself when you knocked on my door. It's late and I'm tired, so either you get to the point and ask me what you came to ask me, or you get out of my apartment so I can sleep." She pointed at the recorder and passed her the napkin.

She looked at the napkin. 'Turn off the recording if you want honest answers, Miss Misora.'

Naomi looked at Ella with wide eyes. Ella nodded toward the recorder. Naomi reached over and turned it off, not taking her eyes off of Ella.

Ella sighed and gestured for Naomi to start. "Go on, than."

Naomi blinked rapidly before sitting up straighter. "How do you know my name?"

"Can't answer that."

"You said-"

"Honest answers. That was one. Next question."

"Who were you yelling at earlier?"

"An acquaintance. That's all I can say."

"Do you know who Kira is?"

Ella blinked. Well, that's bold. "I have an idea, yes."

"Who-"

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. However, I will advise you to not take anyone at their word and do not give your name to anyone, no matter what they promise you, or who they are."

Naomi narrowed her eyes. "You know my name."

Ella nodded. "Let's just hope I'm not Kira. Because Kira is ambitious and childish and he will not hesitate to kill an innocent if she so happens to get in his way."

Naomi rose. "Are you threatening me?"

Ella didn't blink. "I am warning you to be careful. I want Kira caught as much as you do, maybe even as much as L does. I will do whatever I can to make sure his opposition stays as strong as it can. I refuse to let anyone I can save die."

Naomi sat back down. "Anyone you can save? What can you do? You're just a high school student."

Ella shrugged. "So is Kira."

Naomi glowered. "You speak as if you know them."

Ella shrugged again. "Like I said, I have an idea."

Naomi glared at her for a while. "What is your name?"

"Ella."

Naomi snorted. "What, like L?"

Ella glared. "My name is Mariella Johnson. Ella for short. Nothing like L."

Naomi leaned back in her chair, her posture somewhat defeated. "Okay, Ella. You already know my name."

Ella nodded.

Naomi sighed. "What can you tell me about Kira?"

Ella smiled. Finally. "Kira is a high school student, childish, ambitious, a genius. He has had access to the police reports regarding his case, as shown by the change in his killing pattern once he realized the police noticed his pattern. Obviously, in the Kento region of Japan. Mostly kills criminals, however is now killing anyone who gets in his way, shown by the twelve murdered investigators. Honestly, it would've been less suspicious if he'd left them alive."

Naomi knocked over her glass. Ella stared. "Are you alright?"

Naomi snarled. "Like you don't know!"

Nita's eyes widened. "I-What?"

Naomi knocked the tape recorder onto the floor. It shattered. "Like you don't know who my fiancé is! Was!"

Nita slowly stood, her hands out. "I don't-"

Naomi pulled at her own hair. "How else would you have known my name?!"

Nita eased herself closer. "Not whatever way you're thinking! Please calm down."

"Calm down?" Naomi sunk to the ground and covered her face. "My fiancé is dead!"

A silence fell across the room. Ella edged her way around the broken glass and tape recorder. She sat beside Naomi. She spoke quietly. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Naomi shuddered, crying into her hands.

Ella stood and walked over to a tissue box on the counter, bringing it to Naomi.

Ella cleaned up the mess and threw everything away, burning the napkin for good measure.

Naomi had calmed down considerably and was now standing, wiping her eyes. Ella patted her on the shoulder. "I'll buy you a new tape recorder if you want."

Naomi glared tiredly. "It's fine."

Ella nodded. "You want to stay until morning?"

She shook her head. "I live next door."

Ella touched her arm. "I don't want you alone tonight."

Naomi snorted slightly. "Thanks, but I'm not the type to kill myself when there's more productive things to be doing. For example, finding my fiancé's murderer and making sure he suffers."

Ella smiled at her. "We could work together, y'know."

Naomi smiled tiredly back. "That could be beneficial."

Ella tried to hide her grin. "We're gonna catch Kira!"

Naomi rolled her eyes and ruffled Ella's hair. "Keep it down. We've got neighbors."

Ella pouted slightly and watched as Naomi left the apartment.

She brightened up considerably when she realized she could now finally sleep.


	6. Meet The Family

It took three days for Light to get fed up enough to confront her outright.

The bell rang and he followed her out. "Nita! Wait up!"

Nita turned and smiled. _Wonderful_. "Hey, Light. What's up?"

"I've been thinking..."

She smirked. "That's new."

He smiled at her. "I was thinking-"

"Yes, we've established that." _You better not be going where I think you're going_...

"Would you like to come over to work on the Psychology paper?"

 _Oh, thank the lord_. "Oh, sure. Let me just get my jacket."

"I'll wait here."

They walked in mostly silence, Ella pretending not to hear Ryuk blathering on behind them.

"Heh. Kira and Nita sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Light looked ready to punch something by the time they got to his house.

He opened the door and let her go in first. "Mom? I'm home!"

Mrs. Yagami came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Oh, hello! How was your day, Light?"

"The usual. I brought a classmate over."

Nita smiled and bowed. "Hello, Mrs Yagami, I'm Light's friend from school."

Sayu ran past, before backtracking. She scrutinized Ella in a slightly uncomfortable way before grinning. "LIGHT HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"

"Sayu!"

Nita smiled at her. _This is gonna be painful to say_. "As great as your brother is, I don't really like him that way."

Sayu grinned mischievously. "Suuure, you don't."

Nita giggled. Ella felt like vomiting.

Light rolled his eyes. "Sayu, isn't that show you like on?"

Her eyes widened and she dashed to the couch. "HIDEKI RYUUGA!"

Nita and Light shared a glance. She grinned at him. _His family is so wonderful, and yet.._.

Ella followed him up the stairs to his bedroom and watched as he closed the door behind them.

She sat in his desk chair and waited for the inevitable interrogation.

He stood over her. "Who are you and why are you here?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and tried to dodge the question.

"What do you mean? I'm Nita and I'm here because you invited me to work on a project."

Ryuk snorted. "She's got you there."

Neither Ella nor Light made any indication that they'd heard him.

He smiled. "Tell me who you're working for."

Nita snorted. "Dude, what the hell are you on?"

His eyes narrowed and he sat on his bed. "Look, Nita, I saw you fall out of the sky."

Nita leaned forward and looked him in the eyes, concerned. "Light..."

"Don't look at me like I'm crazy, because I'm not."

Ella sighed. "Not yet."

"What?"

"You think you saw me fall out of the sky?"

"I know I did. Right after this."

He pulled the death note from his desk drawer, disabling the booby trap.

Ella stared at it. _This is so out of character_. "That looks ominous."

"Don't act like you don't know what it is! You came with it!"

"I'm assuming it's called a death note."

"You know what it does."

She tried to poke it. Light pulled it away. "Is it a hit list?"

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "It's more than that. It kills whoever's name is written in it."

Nita stared. "...Right." She stood up, grabbed her bag, and brushed imaginary lint off of her jeans. "I'm just gonna go downstairs and run away now."

Light grabbed her wrist. "Nita!"

She turned around and jerked her hand away. "Ugh, what?"

"If you leave, I'll write your name in the death note."

Ella sighed and shook her head pityingly, walking back to Light's desk chair and letting herself fall into it. She spun. "Ryuk, I thought you were going to tell him."

Ryuk shrugged. "I figured it'd be more interesting this way."

Light took on a deathly calm facade. "Nita, please explain."

Ella looked calmly into his eyes. "I met your Shinigami friend a few days ago when he broke into my apartment on your orders."

Light rounded on the shinigami. "Ryuk, you idiot, you showed yourself?"

Ella raised her voice slightly. "I could see him the moment he spoke."

Ryuk snorted. "She fell out of her chair, just like you, Light!"

Light glowered. "I did not fall out of my chair."

"Yes, you did."

Ella raised her hand. "I fell out of my couch."

"Same thing."

Light groaned. "This is all beside the point!"

Ella turned to Light. "Please tell me what the point is."

"The point is, you know who I am, and that means you either join me or you die."

Ella rolled her eyes and stood up. She held her arms out at her sides. "Kill me."

Light blinked, his left eye twitching slightly. "What?"

Ella shrugged at him. "Go on. You know what I said. Kill me."

"Do you honestly believe choosing to die is a better option that being on the side of a god?"

"The only god in the room is Ryuk. Who apparently thought it'd be entertaining to let you go on thinking you could kill me."

"I can kill you."

"Try."

No one moved.

After a few moments, Ella rolled her eyes, lied on Light's bed and took out her psychology book.

Ryuk and Light glanced at each other and looked at her incredulously.

Ryuk nudged her. "Weirdo?"

She didn't look up. "Hm?"

"Uh, we were in the middle of a pretty tense scene just now."

She turned the page, still not looking up. "Mh-hm."

Ryuk shrugged over at Light. "Yeah, she's gone."

Light stared at her. "Nita?"

She smiled at him briefly, jotting notes down in her notebook. "Yeah?"

He sighed and smiled slightly. "That's not your real name, is it?"

She smiled at him again, writing down the page number to a particularly useful paragraph. "Nope."

He sighed again. "Right."

Light stood up and took out his own psychology paper, lying down next to her to work.

They worked in silence for a few minutes.

Light glanced at her. "You do know that I'll probably end up killing you eventually."

Ella glanced back. "Not if I kill you first."

He leaned toward her slightly. "You could join me."

She smiled at him. _As if._ "We'll see."


	7. Enter Mr Hat

The three weeks after the failed confrontation passed in relative monotony. Nita and Light got on swimmingly. Ella and Kira tried to keep their homicidal thoughts for each other to a minimum. Ella tried to ignore the red numbers and names hanging over people's heads and acknowledged her newfound respect for Amane Misa, before wondering when she would show up.

They'd been walking home from school together, much to the displeasure of one Takada girl who'd been giving Nita the evil eye ever since she's been seen walking with Light the first time. Ella fretted over the girl and the problems she would cause for a bit before deciding to ignore that particular problem until she absolutely could not anymore.

They were currently on their way to Light's house.

Ryuk sighed from where he was floating behind Ella and Light. "Look, I'm not one to be helpful, but this is getting really irritating for me."

Ella sighed. "What is it?"

"Light's being followed." Ryuk snorted. "Again."

Light stopped. Ella rolled her eyes and turned back to link arms with him. _Seriously?_ "Light, if you keep stopping for no reason in the middle of the pavement, people will think you're stranger than you actually are."

Light was silent. Ella dragged him along, mentally reminding herself to scrub her arm aggressively tonight. "I mean, you're a genius. You'd think you'd be able to walk and think at the same time."

Ryuk snorted from where he was floating behind them. "Hey, weirdo? Why're you helping Light?"

Ella smirked. "Don't get the wrong idea, Light. I'm not helping you. I'm helping me."

Light finally looked at her. "How are you helping you?"

Nita spun, taking his hand and pulling. "By getting us to your house faster! Duh!"

She glanced behind them and made eye contact with Naomi, briefly. Her lips twitched. "And besides, it's not like you haven't been followed before. But maybe don't kill everyone who you're paranoid about. It just raises suspicions about you."

Ryuk looked confused. "This is not helping Light... How?"

Ella grinned, let go, and began to run. "C'MON, LIGHT! RUN LIKE KIRA'S CHASING AFTER YOU!"

Light's eyes widened and he ran after her. "Nita!"

She laughed and ran faster, jumping over a few traffic cones and almost crashing into an old man carrying a bunch of cake boxes. "Sorry, Sir! In a hurry! Actually..."

She took his hat and put her hair up in it. She took a cake box and leaned over, placing it into the car just as Light ran past.

She grinned and stood, taking off the hat and giving it back to the stunned man. "Hello. You can call me Niki. Please pretend this never happened, Mr. Hat. Bye!"

She waited until the car was gone before she walked slowly toward the the woman leaning against the wall of the bakery. "Don't follow me again, Naomi. I'm trying to get on his good side."

"Why? Because he's Chief Yagami's son?" She stood straighter. "You do know he can't get you into the investigation."

"Partly because he's Chief Yagami's son, but not entirely. I'll tell you why tonight, but for now, I gotta go meet his dad."

"What? Why?"

Ella was already jogging away. "No time, tell you later."

"Nita!"

"And buy me some cake, will you?"

"What kind?"

"Any kind!"

"You're paying me back!"

"Bye!"

When she made it to the Yagami house, Light was waiting outside for her.

She jogged up to him. "Hey! Why are you standing outside your own house like a creep? You didn't lock yourself out, did you?"

He hugged her. She froze, gritting her teeth. _Get off get off get off._ "What are you doing?"

"There are cameras everywhere."

 _Oh, we're there_. She relaxed slightly. "Cameras?"

"Ryuk told me."

She snorted and grimaced, gingerly hugging him back before pulling away. "And you believe him?"

He let her go. "That's not all. Someone's been in my room."

She shrugged. "Well, that sucks for you, I guess." She walked toward the door. "Also, unless there are cameras on us, you are not allowed to hug me."

He smirked. "My family thinks you're my girlfriend."

She jerked away from the door and rounded on him. "WHAT?"

"Shh! Calm down. It's just until the cameras are gone."

Ella stared up at him incredulously before it dawned on her. She snorted. "You're trying to make it look like I'm the suspicious one, aren't you?"

He smiled innocently.

She rolled her eyes, putting her hands on her hips and stepping closer to him. _This asshole_. "You know what?"

His smile widened and he stepped closer in response. "What?"

She glared at him for a bit before shrugging. "Works for me. Open the door."

When they walked in, Ella was immediately ambushed. "NITAAA!"

She felt Light steady her as she swayed. _I hate my life._ She hugged Sayu back. "Hello to you too."

Sayu grinned and let go of her. "So, are you still gonna say that you don't like my brother?"

Nita grinned back and leaned against Light, glancing into his eyes teasingly. _I hate my life_. "Well, if I didn't say it all the time, he might think I have a thing for him."

Sayu giggled.

Nita smiled at her and disentangled herself from Kira. _Nita's_ _boyfriend. I hate my life._ "Sayu, are your parents home?"

Sayu shook her head. "Mom just went out to pick up more food and dad doesn't get home until later."

Nita nodded. "Alright. Well, since they're not here, you two wanna go for some ice cream?"

Light shook his head as Sayu cheered. "Sayu, mom will get mad if we eat ice cream before dinner."

Sayu pouted. "Mom doesn't have to know..."

Nita pouted too. "Yeah, Light. Mom doesn't have to know."

Light stared at them blankly before he sighed, realizing they weren't going to give up. "Alright, fine. But only this once!"

Nita and Sayu cheered and hugged him. _3, 2, 1..._

Ella's phone rang. She pulled away, taking out her phone and glancing at the caller ID."Oh, sorry, guys. I have to take this."

Light smiled and waved her off. "Don't take too long! We'll wait here."

Nita smiled back and went up to Light's room. She answered. "You got the cake?"

Naomi sighed on the other end. "Yes, I got the cake. Where are you?"

Ella walked around Light's room, ignoring Ryuk who was doing a head stand on Light's bed. "Light's house."

"Oh, yeah." Naomi snorted. "You and the Yagami boy are a thing, then?"

Ella paused at the bookshelf to take out one of the magazines Light had bought to make him look like a regular boy. _Ha_. "We'll talk later."

"Right." Ella pictured Naomi rolling her eyes and smirked. "Anyway, I need you here, like, five minutes ago."

She sat in the desk chair and opened the magazine. _Oh. I wonder if Light's aware he bought gay porn..._ "Why? What happened?"

Now she knew Naomi was rolling her eyes. She picked up the other magazine. "Well, for one thing, you left me a note that said 'Call me around fifteen minutes after I tell you to stop following me.'"

Ella snorted and spun in the desk chair, flipping idly through the new magazine. She raised her eyebrow. _There is no way those are real._

Naomi cleared her throat. "Oh, and, also, there's an old guy setting up cameras in your apartment."

Ella dropped the magazine. "WHAT?"

Naomi swore. "Yeah, so get here. And don't yell directly into the phone, dumbass!"

"Whatever! I'm going, and there better be cake!"

She hung up and replaced the magazines quickly before running down the stairs. "I'm sorry guys, personal emergency. My friend has a bug problem. You can go ahead with the ice cream, okay?" She pulled on her shoes and righted herself. "I'll be back for dinner!"

She hugged Sayu, kissed Light on the cheek and ran out the door. _Note to self: boil lips._ "Bye!"

Sayu grinned and waved. "Bye, Nita!"

Light smiled at her and waved.

She didn't stop running until she made it to Naomi's apartment. She slammed the door open. "Explain."

Naomi huffed. "Well, hello to you, too. Come in and say hi to our guest."

Nita stepped in and looked at the man she'd almost knocked over earlier that day. "Hey, Mr. Hat! Did the cake get home safely?"

"Yes. Thank you, Miss Niki."

She sat down, ignoring Naomi's incredulous look. "Wonderful. A good cake wasted is a certified tragedy in my book." She turned to Naomi. "Speaking of cake, you said you bought me some."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute." She stood up and went to the kitchen.

Ella smiled at Watari. "So, Mr. Hat. What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

He put down his tea and smiled back. "I'm an old acquaintance of Miss Naomi. You may call me Watanabe."

Ella smiled. "Alright, Mr. Hat. Were you bugging my apartment?"

Naomi walked back in. "Honestly, _Niki_ , you could've at least waited until I got back."

"Where's the fun in waiting?"

"Well, for one thing, if you'd waited for me, you would've learned that Watanabe, here, works very closely to L."

Ella waved her hand dismissively. "I already figured that out."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Of course you did."

Watari sat silently and sipped his tea.

Ella turned to him. "Speaking of L, exactly why did he have you bug my apartment?"

"That is classified."

"Of course it is." She thanked Naomi and took a bite of her cake. "However, the fact that you've confirmed that he's put bugs in my apartment proves he suspects me of something." She picked a blackberry from the frosting and popped it in her mouth. "And since the case he's currently most focused on is the Kira case, it's safe to assume I have at least a 2% chance of being Kira in his eyes." _Wow, I'm such an asshole._

Watari blinked at her. "Very eloquent. However, you seem not to have realized that Miss Misora's apartment has been bugged as well-"

"And that she's the one who let you into my apartment, most likely out of some sort of remaining sense of loyalty to L after having worked on a case with him before? Yeah, I figured." She put her fork down on the now empty plate. _Huh. Maybe sugar does help your mind._ She smiled. _Nah_. She turned to Naomi. "Thanks for that, by the way."

Naomi stared. "I never told you I worked with L."

Ella smirked and tapped her head with her index finger. "You didn't have to." She stood up and bowed to Watari, who was looking at her oddly. "It's been a pleasure, Mr. Hat. I hope you and your cake live happily until said cake inevitably disappears into someone's digestive system."

She walked to the door and turned back. "Oh, and if there's any cameras in my bathroom, I'll find your detective and personally kick his ass."

After she left, Watari glanced at Naomi, his eyes questioning.

She sighed and smiled wryly, almost fondly, and picked up the plate Ella had left on the table. "Yeah," she shrugged. "She's always like that."


	8. Definitely Not Foreplay

Ella ran the whole way back to Light's house.

She knocked on the door and hugged Light when he opened it. "Hey, smarty. Am I late?"

"No, you aren't. My dad isn't even home yet." He smiled down at her, tightening his grip around her. "You're very eager to get on his good side, aren't you?"

She grinned up at him, digging her nails into his back slightly. "Of course. He's someone I'd very much like to impress."

He hid his wince, but his eyes hardened slightly. "For me, right?"

She smiled sarcastically. "Why else?"

He released her and walked her over to the living room. "Mom, Nita's here. We're going upstairs to study."

Mrs. Yagami bustled over. "Oh, hello, Nita! You will be staying for dinner, of course?"

Ella nodded. "If it's not too much trouble."

"Of course not! You two go upstairs, now. I'll call you down when dinner's ready."

"Thank you."

They began walking up the stairs, Light leading Ella up by the hand.

"Leave the door open!"

"Mother!"

Ella snorted. She jumped on the bed and sat hugging a pillow. "You brought that on yourself."

He rolled his eyes, sitting in his desk chair. "I don't recall asking you."

She raised an eyebrow. _Wow._ "Love you, too."

His head whipped around to face her. "What?"

Ryuk scratched his head from wear he was floating upside down next to her. "Yeah... What?"

Ella rolled her eyes. "Sarcasm, dear."

He nodded slowly. "Right."

She looked toward where she knew one of the cameras was hidden and smirked at it, walking over to the bookshelf. She looked back at Light, waving around a magazine she'd looked at earlier. "I didn't know you were the type to have porn magazines in your bedroom."

He smirked at her, spinning in his chair. "You'd think you would, considering."

Ella snorted, dropping the magazine and taking out a biology book. "Honestly, Light, we've been over this. Sex is for people who want children. I will never be one of those people." She went over and kissed him on the cheek. "Let it go."

Ryuk stared. "Wow, Weirdo. You're awfully affectionate for someone who claims to hate Light's guts."

Ella smiled teasingly, her eyes hard. "Don't think this means I like you or anything, Yagami."

Light's smirk widened as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Oh, I think you might change your mind."

She almost laughed. _He's trying to seduce me._ _If only he knew..._ Nita smirked back and leaned her forehead against his, watching as his eyes darkened slightly. _Ha_. "Doubtful."

"LIGHT! NITA!" Sayu ran in and paused. She made a face. "Geez, stop with the foreplay and just kiss already!"

Nita jumped away from Light, forcing herself to blush. _Foreplay? God, Sayu, what do they teach you at_ _that school?_

Light stood up, seemingly annoyed. "Do you need something, Sayu?"

Sayu perked up. "Oh, yeah! Dad's home!"

Light smiled at her and stood. He took Nita's hand. "Thanks, Sayu. We'll be right down."

Sayu grinned and ran down the stairs. "Don't take too long!"

Light and Ella watched her go before he squeezed Ella's hand. "Don't mess up."

Ella squeezed back harder. "I won't it you won't."

He let go and they walked downstairs.

Sayu was talking to her father rapidly. "And I'm doing way better in math now and Hideki Ryuuga is going to be filming close to here! Isn't it exciting?! And Light has a girlfriend! And she's really nice! Can you believe it? And- Oh! Here they come!"

Light rolled his eyes at his sister. "Honestly, Sayu, do you have to blab about everything?"

Nita elbowed him. "Light, be nice! She's just excited for you."

Mrs. Yagami nodded from where she was setting the table. "Light, listen to your girlfriend."

Light smiled slightly before discreetly tripping Nita.

She gasped, feeling herself falling for a few seconds before she felt him catch her. "Light!"

He righted her, keeping an arm around her waist and leading her down the stairs. "Wow, Nita, you're so clumsy."

Nita put her hands on her hips and swiveled to face him once they were on even ground. She slapped his arm. "You did that on purpose!"

He placed a hand over his heart. "Now, why would I ever do a thing like that?"

She took said hand and intertwined it with her own, looking into his eyes with a playful smile. "Because you just love to play hero, don't you?" She giggled. "Even when you're the one causing the problem."

A throat cleared.

Ella and Light turned to face Mr. Yagami, who had watched the whole spectacle and was now walking over.

Ella let go of Light's hand and bowed. "Hello, Mr. Yagami, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Nita, Light's girlfriend."

Mr. Yagami smiled down at her. "Hello, Nita. The pleasure is mine." His eyes hardened slightly. "Tell me, what are your intentions with my son?"

Nita raised her eyebrows and forced down the urge to tell him that her intentions involved getting his son thrown in prison for the rest of his life. Her eyes darted over to Mrs. Yagami, who was making much less noise than she had been a minute before. _She wants to hear the answer, too._

Nita raised her chin defiantly and lied through her teeth. "My intentions are to be happy and to make him happy and support him through whatever he chooses to do in life." She lowered her eyes shyly. "That is, if we make it that far."

Mr. Yagami relaxed slightly. "What do you mean?"

She smiled weakly. Light wrapped an arm around her shoulders and smiled down at her affectionately. "I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch."

Mrs. Yagami walked past with a dish towel, smacking Mr. Yagami's arm with it. "Soichiro, be nice to our guest. And save the interrogation for the police force. You're off the clock."

He looked at her with loving eyes and a rueful smile. "I'm never off the clock."

They shared a look before Mrs. Yagami went to finish the table and Mr. Yagami clapped a hand on Light's shoulder before going to the couch to sit down.

Ella felt a type of muted anger. _How could he do this to his own family and not feel any remorse?_

Light felt her tense. He began rubbing soothing circles into her shoulder blade.

She wanted to throw him down a flight of stairs.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "You okay?"

She gave him a smile that made it clear she wanted nothing more that to rip him to pieces. At his surprised look, she forced her smile to soften and pecked him on the cheek. "Just peachy."

She saw him trying to hide a smug smile and walked over to help Mrs. Yagami set the table, grabbing Sayu on the way.

"Come on, Sayu, let's help your mother set the table."

Sayu groaned. "But that's not my job..."

Ella squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "It shouldn't have to be her job either. Mothers work very hard to feed you and clean house and make sure your clothes stay nice. The least we can do is help them out a bit."

Sayu looked down, ashamed. "I'm sorry."

Ella leaned down to look at her. "Don't apologize to me, Sayu. Just maybe help your mother out from time to time."

Sayu smiled. "Yeah, I get it. I will!"

Ella smiled and patted her shoulder. "Good girl."

They started setting the table. Mrs. Yagami smiled at them. "Thank you, girls. I really do appreciate you helping, but Nita, you're a guest! You shouldn't be helping."

Nita smiled back. "I'd feel a bit rude if I didn't, if I'm honest."

She gave her a stern look. "Nonsense! You are the guest here. Go sit with Light."

Nita looked at Sayu, who nodded her head. She sighed. "Yes, Ma'am."

Mrs. Yagami smiled and waved her off. "Good, now go."

Nita went over to Light, grumbling slightly under her breath. She sat down and crossed her arms.

He looked at her curiously. "Something wrong?"

Ella huffed. "Your mom won't let me work."

Light gave a little laugh. "So you're angry about not working?"

Ella elbowed him in the side. "Shut up."

He snorted. "Make me."

She rolled her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder so she could speak quietly. "Honestly, Light, if you keep flirting with me when no one's paying attention, one might get the impression that you like me."

He wrapped an arm around her and dug his fingers slightly into her shoulder. "They're supposed to, Nita. And I'm not the one who kisses you randomly."

She wrapped one of her arms around him, putting her hand up his shirt slightly, smirking at how he tensed. "No, but you are the one who came up with this entire idea in the first place, knowing I wouldn't agree to it if you'd asked." She leaned further toward him and whispered very quietly. "Tell me, Kira. Does the idea of having me give you a rush?" _Well, I'm gonna pay for that later._

She heard Ryuk cackling and smirked, but before he could answer, she stood and went over to Mr. Yagami.


	9. A Conversation With the Father

Ella sat cross legged on the floor in front of Mr. Yagami and got comfortable. She clapped once. "Alright, go on."

He looked at her curiously. "Pardon?"

She waved her hand. "Interrogate me."

He smiled at her at her in the way a drama teacher smiles down at a student who he somehow finds odd. "Why would you want to be interrogated?"

She smiled back in the way said student would to frighten said teacher even more. "Because I'm bored and I like playing Interrogation."

His smile faded slightly. "Playing? Is being interrogated a game to you?"

Her smile widened. "Everything's a game to me."

His eyes narrowed slightly and his smile dropped completely. "Everything?"

"Well, maybe not everything," she amended, glancing over at Light in a way that made it look like she was trying to be discreet but that the Chief would definitely catch. _God, I'm such an asshole._ She looked back at him. "But I like being interrogated. It's fun."

He looked slightly less weary than he had before. "Most people don't tend to see it that way."

She raised an eyebrow. "I've been told I'm a bit odd."

"I didn't say that."

"But you thought it."

"Now,"

She interrupted. "What's it like working in the police force?"

He paused, looking slightly cautious. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"Is it dangerous?"

"Well, sometimes, I suppose."

"But it's rewarding, too, right?"

"Yes, very much so."

"Are you not going to tell your family that you're on the Kira case?"

He froze. "How-?"

"Ah, so you are. Huh." She leaned her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in her palms. "That must be difficult."

"I'm sorry?"

"You know, considering your son is thus far one of the only people who could possibly be smart enough to be Kira and not get caught. Besides L. And Amane Misa. And me."

He sputtered slightly. "Amane Misa?"

She blinked. "That was a joke. She's an idol. Like Hideki Ryuuga, but cute. And female."

He nodded slowly. "And you say that you could be Kira?"

She snorted. "I mean, I'm not Kira. God, no. However, in your boss's eyes, I could be." She leaned in as if she was telling him a great secret. "I'm a suspect."

He glared at her. "Nita, how do you know these things?"

Ella smiled at him sardonically. "Well for one thing, no one ever even denies anything I say unless it's obvious or it's not true." She stood up and dusted herself off. Not that she needed to. Mrs. Yagami sure knows how to keep a clean place. "And for another, an elderly man who called himself Watanabe, but who I call Mr. Hat, bugged both my apartment and my neighbor's. I'm assuming that since I know he's done so, he'll already have taken them out as they would get L literally nowhere with me knowing they're there. He's also bugged your house. He did not deny that he was working for L. When you see him next, tell him Niki says hello, she recommends the tres leches cake, and she prefers to be called Nita when in the presence of her boyfriend."

She was about to turn around before he stopped her. "If you know this place is bugged, why are you telling me all of this?"

She gave a pained smile, while the phrase 'I am a horrible person who deserves to die' played on repeat in her head. "I'm not telling you. I'm telling L."

And with that, she bounced back to Light's side. He glared at her.

She tilted her head. _Shit. Why did I think it was a good idea to come back to him?_ "What?"

He pursed his lips. "Let's go out."

She tilted her head the other way in an attempt to look cuter and therefore less threatening. "When?"

He took her arm roughly. _Well, that didn't work._ "Now."

"Now?"

"Now."

She pulled away. "No."

He raised his eyebrows sardonically. "No?"

She shook her head stubbornly and crossed her arms. "No."

He smiled like a shark. "I'm not giving you a choice."

She smiled sweetly. "Well, that's too bad. Your mom is making dinner and it would be very rude for us to leave before eating it."

His smile was strained. "She'll understand."

Her smile wobbled slightly. _Stop. Show no weakness._ "Ah, but what impression would that leave her about your new girlfriend?"

His glare intensified. "You've already ruined my father's opinion of yourself. What difference does the other parent make?"

 _Oh, thank the lord this is what he's mad about_. She relaxed. "Your father won't say anything to her. Though, he may suspect you of leaking police information to a possible Kira suspect." She tapped her chin thoughtfully and looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh."

He grimaced. "Yeah. Oh."

She hugged him. Well, she more like tackled him. She glomped him. More out of relief at him not trying to kill her over her stupid teasing than anything else. "I'm sorry, Light. That was stupid."

He tensed slightly before relaxing and hugging her back. _This is weird. Why did I think this was a good idea?_ "Yes, it was."

She resisted the urge to squirm when she heard his voice reverberate through his chest. _This is so weird._ "I just made your dad more stressed than he already was. But he won't suspect you."

He rested his head on top of hers. "That's not what I'm worried about."

In an effort to mask her cringe, she pressed herself farther up against him. _Too much affection. Way too much affection. WHY IS KIRA SUDDENLY BEING AFFECTIONATE? THAT IS MY MOVE._ The words fell out of her mouth thoughtlessly. "Don't worry, he's seen my... Feelings for you, so it won't look like I'm using you and since you're his son, he will refuse to believe until the very end."

He stiffened and his grip turned slightly painful. "You make it sound as though I'm Kira."

She felt her heart slow down. _Pain. Good. I can deal with him wanting to cause me pain._ Nita pulled away and cupped his cheek with one hand. _Okay. Small touches. I can deal with small touches._ She looked up at him. "Smarty, calm down. You know you're not Kira, and I know you're not Kira, and your father knows you're not Kira. Everything is going to work out for the better."

He stared down at her for a long moment, long enough that everything (both the stare and the out-of-character display of affection from earlier) was making her feel very uncomfortable. She was just about to pull away when he placed his hand over hers, leaned down, and kissed her.

 _Okay, I can not deal with this._ Before she could stop herself, she bit down on his lip.

He jerked back and glared directly into her eyes. She almost sighed in relief. That's better. "Was that really necessary?"

She kept her face expressionless. "Was that?"

She could see the indignant anger in his eyes, but what she found amusing was that he was blushing. It was barely visible, and it was probably more from anger than anything else, but it was there. And she'd caused it.

 _Fuck it, affection is my move._

Nita put her hands on Light's shoulders and kissed him on the lips. _Okay. This is fine. Completely and totally fine. You are Nita. You love Light. He's your boyfriend. He's your genius, loving boyfriend._ _Who is_ _not a serial killer. And who you love._ He began to kiss her back. _This is fine. Retain control._ _Do not, under_ _any circumstances, vomit in his mouth right now._

She pulled back once she really could not take it anymore and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, Smarty. You just caught me by surprise." Nita looked down shyly, than up into his eyes through her eyelashes. "After all, that was my first kiss."

She was pretty sure she was laying it on a little too thick, but she was more than a little disconcerted at the fact that Kira had just metaphorically thrown her script into a shredder. Not to mention assaulting her. _What kind of moron kisses someone who has blatantly told him more than once that she doesn't like him? Who does that? I have told him I don't like him, right?_

She almost smacked herself. _Wow, I'm stupid. He's playing a role as much as I am. Light Yagami gives the actual Hideki Ryuuga a run for his money. Which isn't that difficult, to be honest, but still._

Speaking of Light Yagami, for his part, he didn't really seem to notice her hammy acting. In fact, since she'd broken the kiss, he kind of just been staring at her as if he were L and she was a piece of cake he suddenly had a very strong craving for.

Ella furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the side again. _This is a development. I swear, if this kid falls in love with me, I'm killing him. I'm killing him, and then I'm tying his dead body into a pretzel, dragging him up to the roof of L's not-yet-finished hotel/headquarters building, and throwing him off of it and into traffic._ She glanced down at his lips. _Lust, however..._

Her eyes snapped up to his. _No! That was a moment of weakness. Kira can go fuck himself. And Kira can also go stop being such a good kisser and wearing watermelon flavored lip balm. Which is a really weird thing for me to notice about a serial killer. God, he's repulsive. And I am getting way too into character._

She raised an eyebrow at him, ignoring the blush that was probably on her face at the moment. "Uh, Light?"

He blinked a few times and ignored Ryuk's obnoxious laughter. _When did Ryuk get here? Whatever, not important._ "What's-"

"Dinner!"

Nita smiled up at him and took his hand, leading him to the dinner table. "Hold that thought?"

He nodded slowly.

She smiled again.

 _This is gonna be awkward._


	10. Developments and an Odd Cameo

Dinner was, surprisingly, not as awkward as she thought it'd be.

Well, it was awkward, of course, what with Kira stroking her thigh under the table, Sayu giving them knowing looks, and Chief Yagami sending both glares and absolutely confused looks in Nita's direction when he wasn't busy pretending she wasn't there.

Poor Mrs. Yagami probably had no idea what had happened.

The real awkwardness, though still not as awkward as what happened before dinner, came after dinner when Light offered to walk her home.

Nita smiled up at him as he helped her put on her coat. _Fucking pervert._ "Oh, Light, you don't have to. I'll be fine."

He looked down at her with concern in his eyes. _This boy is unreal._ "It's dark out, Nita. Something bad could happen to someone like you."

She stiffened and glared at him. _Excuse me?_ "What?"

He rubbed small circles into the back of her hand with his thumb. She felt herself relax, even as she tried to stay annoyed. _Development! Development!_ "I know you don't like to hear it, but you're an attractive teenage girl. It's dangerous to be outside alone at night without someone to discourage the hooligans."

She had to smile at that. _I can't believe my mass murderer boyfriend uses the word hooligan._ "Hooligans? What kind of teenaged boy are you?"

He huffed and crossed his arms, letting go of her hand in the process. "Apple, I'm serious."

She froze for a moment before tilting her head up at him, keeping her eyes unreadable. "Apple?"

He shrugged, a faint flush on his cheeks. _Huh._ "Well, you call me Smarty."

She gave him an odd little smile. _My mass murderer fake boyfriend just gave me an affectionate nickname. My life is ridiculous._ "I like it."

He smiled back before shaking his head. "Don't change the subject. It's getting late."

She nodded and said goodbye to his parents. After hugging Sayu and ignoring the way Chief Yagami's eyes narrowed, she lead Light to the door.

He raised his eyebrows as she dragged him out the door. "Oh, so you're letting me walk you home now?"

She swung there intertwined hands between them and gave him a sly look. "Of course I am. Who else could I get to discourage the hooligans than Light Yagami: Honor student?"

He snorted and squeezed her hand lightly. "Hush, you. How far is your house anyway?"

"I live in the apartment building about two blocks away."

He blinked. "That close?"

She smirked at him. "Told you I'd've been fine."

He huffed playfully and made to retract his hand. "Well, if you're gonna be like that, I should just head back to my house, than."

She pulled him back and pouted up at him, watching as his eyes lingered on her lips. _Don't think about it._ "Don't be like that, Smarty. I like your company." _Which is actually true. When he's not being a creepy, sociopathic murderer or invading my personal space, Light Yagami's actually pretty pleasant._

He sighed. "Well, since you're practically begging..."

She smacked his arm. _Never mind._

He gave her a peck on the forehead and smirked down at her, gently tugging on a lock of her hair. "We're here."

She looked up at her building and tried to ignore the fact that he'd initiated affectionate physical contact. Again. "That was quick."

He rolled his eyes and dropped her hair, choosing to wrap an arm around her instead. _Great. More physical contact_. "Time flies when you're having fun."

She smacked his arm again. "Smartass."

He smiled as he led her to her door. _Well, Kira knows where I live now. Such is my life._ "So."

She raised an eyebrow. "So?"

He smiled again. _He has a pretty smile. Wait, no._ "So, do I get a reward for getting you home safely?"

She snorted. "You want a reward for walking me two blocks away from your house? That's not entirely impressive."

He rolled his eyes at her playfully. "Apple, darling, I just want something... Sweet."

She raised her eyebrows. _That was the sleaziest thing anyone has ever said to me._ When she didn't reply right away, he began to lean in.

She took a hard candy out from inside of her bra, unwrapped it quickly and pushed it between his lips.

He stared at her with a flush on his face and shocked, yet slightly calculating eyes.

Nita giggled slightly before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and winking as she opened the door. "Night, Smarty."

She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it, listening to him walk away. She let out a breath she didn't notice she was holding. _Okay. He's gone. Good._

She waited until his footsteps completely faded away before she sunk to the ground and cried.

 _God, I'm such a wimp. How am I going to get out of this?_

 _'Well, this is different.'_

Ella yelped and jerked her head up.

Naomi poked her head out from the kitchen around the corner. She smirked. "He's down there, E. Hey, are you okay?"

Ella stared between the white cat sat in front of her and the former FBI agent in her kitchen. "Please tell me you hear him, too."

Naomi smirked, putting her food on one of Ella's plates. "Yeah, you have a mind reading cat now. Apparently he only shows up when some kid named Liz is at school. I made stir fry if you want any."

Ella blinked tiredly before standing up. _Ignore the cat. Ignore the fact that Naomi appears to have been making conversation with the cat. I can not deal with this shit right now._

 _'Oi!'_

She shook her head, wiping at her eyes. _Ignore ignore ignore._ "I ate at the Yagamis' place."

Naomi took her dinner and Ella into the living room. "Speaking of, you still haven't told me why you've taken such a liking to the boy. Or when."

Ella groaned, sitting beside her on the couch. "Honestly, I don't even know. Nim, he kissed me."

Naomi grinned and wiggled her eyebrows, but her eyes looked guarded. _Dead fiancée. Right. Fuck you, Kira_. "Well, well, well, Niki's got a boyfriend."

Ella rolled her eyes. "You can call me by my name if you want. Mr. Hat probably took down the cameras already."

Naomi shook her head. "Not the microphones."

Ella glared at the wall. "Fucking L."

Naomi snorted. "No, fucking Light. Spill."

Ella groaned. "N, I can't talk about this with people I don't trust listening! It's personal and seriously weird."

"Oh, please, it can't be that bad."

"He had gay porn in his bedroom."

"Shut up. You, my friend, are bisexual. That isn't what's bothering you and we both know it."

"Speaking of..." Ella leaned in very close. "Take off your coat."

Naomi raised an eyebrow but nonetheless shrugged off her light jacket and tossed it on the couch. Ella nodded in approval before taking her hand and leading her to the her bedroom.

She closed the door and locked it.

Naomi stared at her in absolute confusion, setting her plate that she hadn't let go of on the bedside table. "What are you-?"

Ella held a finger to her lips before pressing on the apple of her necklace. "Okay, we have half an hour, which is really more than enough time."

Naomi threw her hands up in front of her. "Woah, woah, wait. Time for what?!"

Ella smiled serenely. "Take off your clothes."

"WHAT?!"

She laughed. "And, that scream shorted out the mics."

Naomi sighed and placed her hand on her forehead. "You just... But you're necklace... No. Fine. Whatever. What is so important that you had to pretend to attempt to seduce me to make the Old Man and Detective Creepy stop listening?"

Ella crossed over to the bed and sat down, leaning against the headboard. "First of all, my dear Naomi, if I'd actually tried you would be on here with me right now."

Naomi crossed her arms and glared. "In case you don't remember, Ella, my fiancée was killed by Kira less than a month ago."

Ella sighed. _Well, that's a Segway if I ever heard one._ "That's what I want to talk to you about, but you can't do anything rash."

Naomi's eyes narrowed. "What constitutes as rash to you?"

"Violent and without thinking."

"Why would I-?"

"Promise."

Naomi nodded reluctantly.

Ella shook her head. "Not good enough. Hold out your pinky."

"What?"

"Pinky promise. You can't break a pinky promise."

Naomi rolled her eyes, but complied and sat on the bed next to her. "There. Now, out with it."

Ella took a deep breath. "Light Yagami is Kira."

Naomi froze. "What?"

Ella sighed. "You heard right. He's Kira and we can't kill him yet. You also have to act like he's completely innocent and that he's just a high school student until we can get to L."

Naomi snapped her eyes up and narrowed them. "How do I know you're not lying? You're dating him, aren't you? How do I know you aren't Kira?"

Here we go. "You don't know I'm not lying. He pulled me into a fake relationship that I'm trying to use against him but he keeps turning it around. And you know I'm not Kira, because I've known your name since before I met you and I haven't even considered killing you and I never will kill you."

She paced back and forth across the room. "You've known my name... How did you know my name?"

"That is not relevant."

"How is it-?"

"What's important is that Kira doesn't know your name, therefore you need to only use aliases outside of this apartment. The only one who we trust is L and that's only just barely. And that's only because you've worked with him before. Is that understood?"

"Look, we can have that conversation later, when I get over the disbelief over you saying a teenaged honor student with absolutely zero track record with the law is a supernatural murderer."

Ella sighed and leaned back. "Good. Fine. Go ahead."

"Light Yagami can't be Kira! He's a high school student!"

"So am I."

"He's the police chiefs son!"

"Which is how he got the case information in the first place."

Naomi tugged at her hair. "He's-he's... He's you're boyfriend!"

"Fake boyfriend." Ella stood up and grimaced. "Real kissing."

Naomi sat down and put her head in her hands. "Ella, that's disgusting."

"Yes. Very much so." She crossed over to the closet and took out an oversized shirt. "However, I need him to think I'm completely in love with him so that I can manipulate him into falling in love with me, thus making it so he'd do anything for me and therefore saving peoples' lives in the long run."

Naomi lifted her head and followed her with her eyes. "That is a horrible plan."

Ella stopped in front of her and shrugged. "It works in fanfiction!"

Naomi glared, stood up and hit her hard with a pillow. "This isn't fanfiction!" _Tell that to my author._ "This is real life and we know who my fiancé's killer is and I apparently can't do anything about it!"

 _'Y'know, I think Liz is back from school. I think I'll leave.'_

Ella nodded, pushed Naomi off of her, and stood up. "Bye, Kitten."

The cat disappeared with a pop.

Naomi swatted at Ella as she began messing with her clothes. "Ella, what are you doing?"

Ella mussed up both her and Naomi's hair, to the latter's displeasure. "Our half hour's up."

Naomi raised an eyebrow, averting her eyes as Ella struggled out of her jeans. "That explains nothing. Why are you stripping?"

Ella straightened up and raised an eyebrow back, but lowered it and giggled. "Because, my dear Nim, we just had sex."

Naomi stared at her for a moment, averting her eyes again when Ella took off her shirt to replace it with the oversized one. "You don't make any sense."

Ella nodded absently, removing her bra from under her shirt. "Yeah, you're right. Punch me in the eye."

Naomi furrowed her eyebrows and paused from where she'd started picking up the clothes Ella had thrown on the ground. "What? Why would I-?"

Ella pulled her hair into a messy bun. "The more believable story is we got into a fight. So punch me in the eye."

"No."

Ella tilted her head, which was oddly difficult when trying to tie up her hair. "... You want me to punch you in the eye?"

Naomi threw the clothes on the bed and grabbed Ella by the shoulders. "Ella. No. No punching in the eye, or kicking in the eye, or fighting in the eye! Or in general. No one who's watching would believe anything like that happened between us."

Ella blinked. "You know, for someone who seems so against us fighting, you're holding me pretty aggressively."

Naomi looked at her incredulously. She then sighed. "El, when was the last time you slept?"

Ella blinked again and giggled. "Silly Nimmy. Did you just call me 'L'?"

Naomi sighed again and turned her around. "Alright, off to bed."

"But Nimmy I'm not-"

"Bed."

"But-"

"Now."

Ella crawled into bed, shooting confused and disgruntled looks over her shoulder at Naomi and muttering under her breath about "not tired" and "she thinks I'm L now maybe she needs sleep" and "wasn't there a telepathic cat here a while ago".

Naomi just shook her head, picked up the dishes, and left the room. "Night, Niki."

Ella yawned and snuggled under the blankets. _Okay, maybe I do need sleep._ "Night Ny."


	11. Entrance Exams and First Impressions

The next few weeks passed in a relative blur, and suddenly it was time for the To-Oh entrance exam. The only reason Ella knew that was because her boyfriend (who, when she'd tried to break up with him, had made the point that it would be odd for them to be seen together if they were no longer an item, thus trapping Ella in the relationship) had decided that she needed to take the test too, and to do well. Something about needing to keep an eye on her and making sure she wouldn't 'accidentally' let something slip about Kira's identity.

So, not only was she being forced to take a test to get into a college she didn't even care about, she now has to pass it with a high enough score that Kira wouldn't feel ashamed at having to be associated with her and her 'mediocre intellect'.

Needless to say, Ella was not amused.

So, there she was on the day of the exam, ridiculously early thanks to her stupidly punctual boyfriend (because he was her boyfriend and she was his girlfriend and that was the horrible truth), and she's just realized that L was scheduled to make his very first physical appearance that day.

 _Today I get to be surrounded by insufferable geniuses trapped in a game of testosterone, foreplay, and murder. Yippee._

 _I hate my life._

"Apple, honestly, you couldn't have dressed more appropriately for the exam?"

Ella glanced down at her pajamas and then scowled at Kira. "Smarty, this is appropriate. We're sitting in chairs and writing stuff on pieces of paper. I'm not gonna doll myself up to sit in a chair."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. It's too late to change now, anyways. But you are going to 'doll yourself up' for the entrance ceremony, right?"

She turned her scowl to the ground. "Light, we don't even know that I'll get in."

He huffed. "Nita, you've been studying with me. Of course you'll get in. And you'll be there anyway to hear me speak as they will inevitably pick me as the freshman representative."

Ella snorted and looked up at him incredulously. "Your ego astounds me, dearest."

He smirked. "That's not very difficult, darling."

She looked back down at her feet and kicked a rock out of her way. "Not helping."

"Sorry." When she continued to look away, he lifted her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look at him. "Hey. You'll do fine, Apple. You have so far."

She nodded and let him kiss her, which was getting increasingly difficult to do. _Everything was fine before. Why am I letting myself feel so disgusted? Usually I can at least control myself. And it's been happening for a few days now._

It was then that she felt it.

 _Oh no._

After spending three and a half months in this stupid anime, Ella's period had finally decided to show up again.

She jerked away from Light, ignoring the surprised, slightly offended look on his face. "Um, Smarty? We have a bit of a predicament."

His eyes narrowed, but she could have sworn she saw some concern in them. _Aw, he does have feelings!_ "What's wrong?"

Ella blushed and looked at the sky. _Woman up, Ella. He's not going to bite you. Probably._ "Darling, my period just started."

Light paled. Under any other circumstance, Ella would have found the infamous serial killer's apparent fear of female anatomy entertaining.

Unfortunately, she was too busy trying not to create an obvious stain in her shorts to find anything entertaining at the moment.

Ryuk was looked slightly uncomfortable and Light sputtered for a bit before he found his voice. "Well, can't you hold it or something?"

She felt her tolerance for him snap. _That was quick._ "Are you fucking kidding me, Light Yagami?"

He seemed to realize he said something wrong, at least. "Apple-"

She held up her hand. _Oh, no no no. I finally have an excuse to scream at you and you are not gonna take it away._ "Oh, don't you 'Apple' me, Light Yagami. Light Yagami, top student in all of Japan! Light Yagami, so-called genius? Apparently not in anatomy, or biology, or anything involving the female body, though, huh?"

Ryuk started cackling. "Oh, boy. You've sure done it this time, Light."

 _Damn right he did._

Light tried to interrupt her once he noticed the staring. "Nita, you're making a scene-"

She glared harder and pushed him away from her with enough force that he backed up, but not enough for him to fall. "I DON'T CARE! 'CAN'T YOU HOLD IT?' HE SAYS! YES, DARLING, LET ME JUST HOLD IN THE BLOOD POURING OUT OF MY WOMB, SHALL I?! LET ME JUST FUCKING DENY MOTHER NATURE AND FUCKING ABSORB THE RED SEA ABOUT TO BURST FROM MY FUCKING UTERUS! HOW ABOUT I MAKE YOUR FUCKING DICK BLEED, DARLING! LET'S SEE HOW THE GREAT LIGHT YAGAMI HOLDS IN THE BLOOD COMING OUT OF HIS FUCKING GENITALS! 'CANT YOU HOLD IT?' SMARTY, I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU CAN BE SO STUPID!"

They looked at each other, frozen. Even Ryuk looked absolutely floored for about two seconds before he fell on the floor, laughing. Ella fought the urge to grin. _That's_ _not_ _exactly_ _how_ _I_ _planned_ _to_ _tell_ _him, but whatever. Wait, is it odd for a teenager to tell someone they've been with for a month they love them? Probably. Good thing I've already established myself as the weird one in this relationship._

 _That's worrying_.

"Ahem."

Ella slowly turned her attention from Kira to the person who was suddenly between her and her still frozen idiot boyfriend. She raised an eyebrow. _Nita_ _has_ _no_ _idea_ _who_ _this_ _stranger_ _is_. _Nope_. _None_ _at_ _all_. _Ah_ , _who_ _am_ _I_ _kidding_. "Yes?"

He stared at her with what seemed like a vaguely amused expression and held out an object with two fingers. She took it without taking her eyes from the very familiar newcomer's and blushed when she looked down at it.

She looked back up at him and cleared her throat. _Weird stranger. Never met him before. No idea who he is. None. At. All_. "Uh, thanks..."

"Ryuuga Hideki."

She nodded. _Don't call him Slouchy. That's impolite._ "Thanks, Slou- Ryu. Um. Why did you have a-?"

He cut her off, putting his hands in his pockets and seeming slightly more tense than he had previously. _Why? I didn't say anything accept give him a pet name._ "The restrooms are right beside the exam hall. It's almost time, so I recommend you hurry."

She nodded quickly and began to wobble away. "Right. Thanks again, Ryu." She looked around at Light and smiled awkwardly. _Stay in character. Apparently, Nita's an overemotional moron._ "Sorry, Smarty. I'll see you after the exam, okay?"

Light nodded back at her absently, looking both disdainful and cautious regarding the newcomer. "You'll do great, Nita."

She nodded again and made her way quickly to the restroom.

"So, Light Yagami. What's your opinion on Kira?"

 _Interrogation at its most subtle. God, my author's lazy._

Only after she did what she had to do did she let herself think about what had just happened.

She leaned her head on the stall door and let out an incredulous laugh.

She had just screamed in the face of her serial killer boyfriend about her period, 'accidentally' let it slip that she loved him after a month of fake dating him, and to top it all off, the man behind the three greatest detectives in the world, one of which was trying to catch said serial killer boyfriend, had just given her a tampon.

She sighed. "I hate my life."

A different voice answered. "Don't worry. A lot of people hate your life, too."

Ella opened the stall door and walked out. She looked at Takada and rolled her eyes dismissively. "Oh, it's you."

Takada grimaced and leaned against the sink next to the one Ella was using to wash her hands. She crossed her arms and watched her. "You know, I don't know what he sees in you."

Ella smirked and looked at her from the corner of her eye. _Well. Petty girl bullies were bound to show up eventually. They did in every other bad fanfiction._ "I'm sure if I asked him we'd both be willing to show you _exactly_ what he sees in me."

Takada blushed lightly and scoffed. "Oh, please. Yagami Light is one for intellectual stimulation. Sex bores him."

Ella turned off the faucet and leered at her as she wiped her hands. "Oh, my dear Takada, you could not be farther from the truth."

Takada bristled. "You're lying."

Ella grinned. _She's adorable._ "Of course I am."

She took in Takada's confused look and giggled. _Kill her with kindness._ "You know, Takada. I like you. Let's both meet up with Light after the exam, yeah?"

Takada crossed her arms but she looked slightly unnerved at this unexpected offer. "Why? So you can rub your relationship with him in my face? No thanks."

Ella wrinkled her nose. _Well. Partly._ "No. Because I think you're intelligent and could add things to the conversation that I can't. Plus, you're nice to look at and I wouldn't mind seeing more of you."

Takada tilted her head and took a slight step back. _Aww_. "Nita, are you... Are you flirting with me?"

Ella gave her a bit of a 'duh' look. "I propositioned you earlier and you think me calling you pretty is flirting? That's not flirting, that's stating a fact."

"Er... Thank you."

Ella nodded. "You're welcome. If it'll make you feel less of a third wheel, I'll even invite Ryu."

"Who?"

"The guy that gave me a tampon when I was screaming at Light about the fact that when I told him my period started, he told me to 'hold it in.'"

Takada raised her eyebrows. "Yagami Light did not say that."

Ella nodded, throwing away the paper towel. "He did. Though I imagine it was the stress of the exam that was hindering his thought process. Or he's an actual teenage boy and not a robot, but I highly doubt that's the case."

Takada let out a short laugh, seemingly in spite of herself, and began walking out of the restroom slightly ahead of her. "Nita, that's not a nice thing to say about _your_ boyfriend."

Ella shrugged and looked around, waving at Light and Ryu, who were having what looked to be a pleasant conversation. _Ha_. "We'll talk more about how you think I should treat _my_ boyfriend after the exam, yeah?"

Takada looked at her oddly and made a show of looking for her actual friends. "Doesn't matter to me."

Ella rolled her eyes slightly as she walked to a seat to the left of Ryu and called over her shoulder. "Good luck, Takada! Not that you'll need it, but still."

Takada's lips twitched and she held her head up higher. "You too, Nita. I guess."

She smiled to herself and leaned back in her chair, twirling the pencil she had found on the desk between her fingers. Ryu looked at her from his crouched position on his seat. "You're awfully relaxed for someone who is about to take a test that determines her future."

Ella shrugged. "I'm really only doing this for Light's sake. Something about 'wanting to keep an eye on me' and 'making sure I don't do anything stupid that gets me hurt or killed'. You know, boyfriend stuff."

"I see."

Ella smiled at him. "So, what high school did you go to?"

"Kento Prep."

"Ah. That's odd."

"Odd?"

 _Screw it. I'm flirting with everyone today._ "It's just, I think I would remember seeing someone so oddly entrancing."

"You're records show you transferred to Daikoku Private Academy last year, which is where you met your boyfriend Light Yagami. There is no prior school listed."

 _Wow. Whatever entity that sent me here sure did a shitty job on my background._ "You looked at my records, cupcake?"

 _A fidget. But I'm pretty sure that's just cause I mentioned cake._ "Yes."

She turned away from him and sighed boredly. _Fanfiction lied to me._ "And did you find anything besides a name, age, and things to do with the school?"

"...No."

Ella raised her eyebrows and smiled. "I expected you to lie. Kudos for not doing so. You get a reward."

"A reward?"

"Yes. But first, sweetheart, did you mention my boyfriend because you didn't like me flirting with you, or because you suspect him?"

He looked at her penetratively. _Not even a blush. Damn._ "Suspect him? What exactly do you mean by that?"

 _I've spent most of my time here making it obvious that I'm intentionally trying to appear suspicious, thus making me look like an attention seeker and a fake. He can't actually think Kira would be that stupid as to try to be convicted? Gah, my head hurts. That's what I get for trying to triple bluff a genius._ "Nothing at all, candyfloss."

The exam person clapped his hands. "No talking. It's time for the exam."

Ella smiled oddly at Ryu (because she had to be in the habit of not calling him by the name she almost didn't notice floating above his head. Before she dropped into this universe, she'd never actually bothered to learn his real name. She almost snorted when she saw it. Was she getting used to this power? _Shit_.) and mouthed the word 'Later.'

She resisted the urge to snort when the examiner told Ryu to sit normally and looked down at her test.

 _Time to be extremely average_.


	12. A Dramatic Outing

_That was the worst thing I have ever had to do in this godforsaken anime, and that includes making out with Light Yagami._

Ella was mentally exhausted. She actually did understand everything on the stupid test, which wasn't so surprising considering she'd been studying with the top student in the entire nation of Japan, but she had kept falling asleep. Luckily, Ryuk started cackling every time the examiner came close, thus waking her up.

She ignored the looks Ryu sent her every time she jerked up in her seat.

She wrote down the name Mari Ella, just for shits and giggles. It's not like she was going to go by the name of a fruit for the rest of her school career in this stupid anime.

Around three quarters of the way through the test, Ella realized that she really shouldn't be doing this well unless she wanted to be stuck between two insufferable geniuses for the rest of the storyline.

With that in mind, she finished her test and answered everything correctly. She then went back and when she saw one she knew Nita shouldn't have been able to get, she erased it and picked a different answer. She did that to exactly one question. _Screw being average. I don't have the willpower for that._

If Ella was going to be attending one of the top universities in Japan, she was damn well going to show off a bit.

She glance to the side when she felt Ryu staring at her. She raised an eyebrow. _Did he see that? How did he see that? He did not see that._

He looked back at her as if he was trying to figure out why she would want to be less than the best if that's what she was capable of. She held eye contact with him before glancing at Light pointedly and back. He seemed to accept that and turned back to his own finished test.

 _He totally saw that._

That was five days ago and now she was in a cafe with Light and Takada.

Which was probably the most awkward thing she'd ever had the idea of doing. Well, awkward for her. Takada and Light were having what seemed to be an amicable conversation regarding ways to improve Japan's poor judicial system.

Ella, who was mentally cursing L for actually doing work things in his hotel room instead of in this cafe, was shoving as much cake and caramel flavored iced coffee as she could into her face to wake herself up, feed her caffeine craving, and avoid any type of conversation.

"What do you think, Nita?"

Ella blinked at the two very intelligent people now looking at her expectantly, and swallowed the cake in her mouth. _So much for that._ She cleared her throat, took a sip from her coffee, and wiped her face with a napkin primly. "I agree with Takada."

Takada smirked and Light looked at Nita mockingly. "You agree that you weren't listening to a word we were saying?"

Ella refused to blush, keeping her face impassive. "Absolutely."

Light sighed and looked at her fondly while Takada huffed and looked at her like she could not believe Nita of all people had somehow gotten Light Yagami for a boyfriend.

 _You and me both, Takada. You and me both._

During that incredibly awkward lull in the outing, Ella got a phone call. She declined it. "So, let's not talk about smart person stuff. I want to know how you two know each other."

Takada looked unamused while Light smirked at Ella. "Why, Apple! Is someone jealous?"

Ella snorted. "Of what?"

Takada looked vaguely offended. "I'm sitting right here."

Ella smiled apologetically. Her phone rang again. She declined.

Light looked at her curiously. His eyes were suspicious but his voice was light. "Who wants to get to you so badly, dearest?"

Ella smirked at him. "Why, Smarty! Is someone getting jealous?"

He was about to retort when her phone rang again. Ella rolled her eyes. _Fine_. She looked down and furrowed her eyebrows at the unknown number. "Hey, I'm sorry. This is probably important if it merits three phone calls."

Light looked at her in slight concern. "Is everything alright?"

Ella nodded, standing up and beginning to walk outside. "Yeah, of course. I'll be right back."

"Be careful."

"Mhmm."

She answered as soon as she was out the door. _If this isn't him, this is going to be super annoying._ "Hello?"

"Nita."

She rolled her eyes and smiled sarcastically. _It's him. Still annoyed._ "What's shakin', sugartits?"

"... I would prefer it if you never call me that again."

Ella snorted. "And I would prefer it if you didn't call me three times in a row when I'm busy, Pandabear. I suppose this is about your reward?"

"Panda-?"

"You need sleep. So, is it?"

"Partly."

"Well, get to the other part, because I'm not giving you your reward unless both of us are completely alone and there's no way for anyone to hear."

There was a slight pause. "I am not interested in any sort of sexual favor, as I am married to my work."

Ella couldn't speak for a minute. _Sexual...?_

"Are you still on the line?"

She snorted and burst out laughing.

"...I take it you were not offering anything sexual?"

Ella tried to control herself. "N-no! Why would I-? Ryu!"

"Please control yourself. It was merely an assumption based on your past behaviors."

"My past-? Sugarplum, is this because I flirted with you? Because while I do find you interesting, I'm in a committed relationship already. As you well know."

"Your behavior shows that you don't seem very committed to that relationship."

She raised an eyebrow at her phone. "Are you saying I'm promiscuous?"

He paused. "I feel this may be a question that would not be safe for me to answer."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Smart choice. And for the record, my lack of commitment in my relationship is none of your business, sweetpea. What do you really want?"

"I would like you to get in the car."

Ella looked around at all of the cars currently parked near the cafe. She deadpanned. "You're gonna need to be a bit more specific."

"Wait for it."

Ella sighed. _I've left them alone in there too long already._ "Listen. I'm sorta meant to be third wheeling for my boyfriend and an acquaintance right now, so I really don't have time..."

She stared at the car that had just stopped in front of her. "Ryu?"

She could hear his stupid smugness. "Yes, candy apple?"

She decided to pretend he didn't say that. "Did you send me a limo?"

"That depends."

"How does it-?"

"Is there an elderly gentleman currently holding the door open for you as you gape like a fish?"

Ella nodded reluctantly, than realized that, though she was sure he was watching her, he didn't know that she knew and she was just making herself look like a moron. "Uh-huh."

"Than yes. I did send you a limo."

 _I can't leave them alone any longer._ "I have to say goodbye to Light and Takada."

"Just send them a message from inside the car."

 _Big guns._ "Ryu, please! I don't trust them alone together."

There was a pause. It was a long enough pause that Ella realized she didn't have to stand there listening to air while he made up his mind about her decision.

With that in mind, she turned and walked back into the cafe.

She heard a sigh from the phone's receiver and knew that he saw her walk in already. "Make it quick."

"Gotcha."

She held her phone to her chest and approached the table. "Dear?"

Light looked up from where he was sitting... very close to Takada. He stood quickly, much to Takada's annoyance. "Darling, where have you been?"

She raised her eyebrow at him and crossed her arms, still holding onto the phone. "I leave for ten minutes and suddenly Takada here is good enough for you?"

Takada looked affronted. "Excuse me?"

Ella looked at her apologetically. "His words, not mine. I think you're intelligent and gorgeous, but that is neither here nor there."

"Thank you?"

"Light, you're cheating on me."

"Apple, you're overreacting-."

She stared at him for a moment. "Overreacting?"

Even Takada looked at him like he was a moron.

Ella walked forward and poked his chest. "You, Light Yagami, are the one who, as soon as I left, started getting all cozy over here with another girl!"

He took a step toward her, forcing her to back up. "Me? What about you and Ryuuga? Or 'Ryu' as you call him?"

She furrowed her eyebrows at him and didn't advance. "What?"

He nodded and crossed his arms, looking at her superiorly. "Yeah. I saw you speaking to him before the exam started."

 _Wow, he's not even trying._ She looked up at him indignantly. "I was thanking him for giving me a tampon!"

He glared. "Looked like flirting to me!"

Don't laugh. She stepped toward him again and stood on her tiptoes to try to match his height. _It didn't work. Why am I so short? Not the time. Back to arguing with a serial killer._ "You were the one who told me to 'hold it in' instead of doing anything helpful!"

He flushed slightly. "Would you quit bringing that up?"

"No!"

"Just admit you were flirting!"

 _I was so flirting._ "No, because I wasn't! What kind of boyfriend are you?"

He ignored her. "I bet that's him on the phone now, huh? Give it!"

When Light tried to grab it out of her hand, Ella shoved the phone in her bra. Light stared at her chest for a moment before glaring into her eyes. His voice was quiet. "So, it was him."

Ella glared back and slapped him hard on his pretty face. He looked back at her in shock. She glared harder, letting the tears come to her eyes. "I told you that I love you, Light Yagami. I don't use those words unless I mean them."

His eyes softened slightly and he tried to pull her toward him. "Apple-"

 _Don't fall for it. Don't let your guard down. He wants you dead. And you've got enough bruises from his fingers to prove it._ She pulled herself away from him roughly. "No, Light. Clearly, we need to take some sort of break from each other or something. Maybe permanently." She glanced at Takada. "It's obvious you've already lost interest in me."

"Apple-"

Ella ignored him and bowed to the patrons of the cafe. "I apologize for the disturbance."

She then turned to Takada and smiled slightly. _Wow, I'm already cringing._ "This is not your fault. He is a snake, Takada. I've only been with him for two months and he's already fucked me up. I'm not going to try to stop you from being with him, but I'm giving you a warning. This may not be what you want."

Takada hesitated for a moment before giving a stiff nod.

Ella then turned to Light and said possibly the most honest thing she had ever said to him. _Fuck, I'm crying. I'm actually crying. Why did you get attached? Stupid, stupid, stupid._ "Tell Sayu it was all my fault. I don't want her to think ill of her big brother."

He looked genuinely regretful for a second. That just made her feel like an asshole. "Nita..."

She looked at him, letting the tears fall down her face. She couldn't speak. _Wow, I am super pathetic. If I was a superhero, that would be my name. Super Pathetic. I would be a horrible superhero. WHY WONT I STOP CRYING?_

He hesitated, but said nothing more.

She left the cafe, ignoring the way her ego was basically wilting. _I brought this on myself._

Ryuk cackled.

 _Well. That was dramatic._

She hesitated for a moment before she stepped into the car and nodded to Watari, ignoring his pitying look. She sniffed and took out her phone, slightly surprised that it was still on call.

She cleared her throat slightly and wiped the tears from her face. _I literally felt nothing for him. And he's got me crying over him. What a fucking prick._ "So. You heard all of that."

It took a bit for Ryu to respond. "Yes."

She sniffled. "So, uh. Are you going to question my commitment again, or am I in the clear with you?"

"You rather loudly proved my earlier assumption wrong. I am sorry."

She snorted slightly. "Why are you sorry? Its not your fault."

"Is that not what people say to those who have just been through something unfortunate?"

Ella rolled her eyes. "You know what, yes. It is. Thank you. While we're apologizing, I'm sorry for publicly breaking up with my boyfriend while you were between my boobs."

"It's... Fine."

She let out a hoarse giggle. "Are you... Ryu are you eating right now?"

He didn't pause this time. "You said you would make it quick."

She smiled tiredly. _Aaand, I'm over it. He was Nita's boyfriend, not Ella's._ "No. You said 'make it quick.' I said 'gotcha'."

He just sighed a bit.

Ella cleared her throat again. _No time for playtime. Get back in the game. Was that a pun?_ "So, Ryu, you didn't tell me you worked with L."

"What gave you that idea?"

"Let's see. Mr. Hat, your overall oddness, the fact that you have enough money to own a limo and send it for me just to show off, you somehow got access to my records, the fact that you gave me an alias, your interest in both myself and Yagami, though mostly him..."

"That's enough, thank you."

Ella sat back in the leather seat, ignoring the tears that were still slowly going down her face. _Eh. Needed a good cry anyway. Stupid Kira_. "In fact, I might even go so far as to say you are L, but for the fact that L must be far too busy working on the Kira case to waste enough time to take an unnecessary entrance exam unless he was following his suspect. Of course, he may have sent you as a decoy, but I somehow doubt that."

There was a pause. "We will discuss this later, when you are less emotionally compromised."

She sniffled again and laughed slightly. "Yeah, I figured."

He hung up.

Ella put her phone away and sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Hey, Mr. Hat?"

"Yes, Miss Niki?"

"Where are we going?"

He smiled kindly through the rear view mirror and ignored her.

She shrugged and leaned her head back, closing her eyes and letting herself relax. "It was worth a shot."

When they pulled up to a very expensive hotel, she was less than surprised. When Ella saw Naomi was waiting outside for them, she was slightly more surprised.

She wiped her face again. "Hey, Nim. Care to tell me what you're doing here, outside of this lavishly expensive hotel that you definitely can't afford to stay in?"

Naomi smiled at her, but her eyes looked concerned. "Let me show you to the room, and then we'll both explain what happened today."

Ella smiled back weakly. _God, Ella. Stop being so pathetic. Woman up._ "If you're gonna kill me, I'm coming back to haunt you."

Naomi looked at her oddly. "Likewise. Come on up."

As Ella was lead to the elevator, she began to wonder how she didn't see Naomi going to L herself as a possibility.

 _I'm just a big ball of unstable solipsistic moron today, aren't I?_


	13. Suspicious

The inside of the hotel room was so gaudy that Ella was sorely tempted to steal an ashtray. The only thing that stopped her was the fact that, though she was effectively immortal, she didn't exactly want to get arrested and actually spend precious Meddling Time in a dinky prison cell over a petty theft.

That, and the fact that blatantly stealing even something as insignificant as an ashtray right in front of the worlds greatest detective was quite possibly one of the stupidest things she could possibly do in the situation she was currently in.

Speaking of said detective, he was currently crouching in an armchair about five feet in front of her, surrounded by sweets. _And now I'm having cravings. Great._ "Hello, Nita."

She gave him finger guns. _Finger guns? Really? Fuck it. I'll blame it on the emotional turmoil._ "Sup, babycakes."

 _That too._

She heard Naomi choke behind her and turned around with a raised eyebrow. "You alright, Nim?"

Naomi looked slightly scandalized. "Niki, please tell me you didn't just call the greatest detective in the world ' _babycakes_ '."

 _Did she really just say that out loud? What happened to professionalism? What ever happened to discretion? What happened to Misora Massacre? You know what, fine. Whatever._ Ella tried not to let her face show her disappointment. "Okay, Naomi. I did not just call the greatest detective in the world 'babycakes'."

"Yes you did!"

She furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. _Am I dreaming? She's not stupid and she never has been for as long as I've known her. Granted, that's not very long, but seriously?_ "I did?"

Naomi let out a breath through her nose. "You know who he is, Ella."

 _Way to give up my reward, dumbass. Jesus Christ. Just giving away everyone's secret names today, aren't ya? Fucks sake._ "What do you want from me?"

"Ahem."

Ella turned around and raised her eyebrow at L. _Thank you._ "Yes, sugar cube?"

He didn't react to the pet name. "I believe you had something you wanted to give me?"

Ella tilted her head. "Are you propositioning me, Ryu? Because I literally just got out of a relationship twenty minutes ago and-"

"You mentioned a reward."

"I know, I was just messing with you." He didn't look amused. She huffed. _Tough crowd._ "Fine. My name's Mariella Johnson. Ella for short. Pleasure to meet you."

"That name is very foreign."

She made herself comfortable between him and the left chair arm, plucking up a strawberry and pushing him into the right one. "Excellent observational skills, detective. Nothing gets past you."

"There are plenty of seats available."

She leaned on his back and threw her legs over the back of the chair, just to be an asshole. She felt him tense. _Whoops, too far. Screw it, I'm feeling emotions and I intend to get rid of them. By being annoying._ She shoved the strawberry in her mouth. _And feeding my cravings._ "Yet another brilliant deduction, Holmes. May I just say, you are on a role today."

"Watari."

The surprisingly strong old man deftly lifted Ella up and set her gently down on the couch adjacent to L's armchair.

Ella blinked in surprise and shot an offended look in L's direction. He looked in no way remorseful, so she turned her stare to Watari. He just smiled serenely. Finally, she looked at Naomi, the one she trusted to stick by her (less so now, actually, seeing as she went behind her back and most likely had been reporting on everything Ella had said to her in confidence, and also earlier proved herself to be apparently a bit of a moron, though Ella still held hope), and saw that she was looking back at her in disapproval.

Ella huffed and crossed her arms, pouting petulantly. "Can't a girl sexually harass the nearest attractive male after a horrible breakup in peace anymore?"

"Sexual harassment is grounds for a lawsuit. I recommend you watch what you say."

Ella glared. "So is kidnapping, which is basically what you did."

"You came of your own free will."

 _Okay, new tactic._ She leaned back and crossed her arms. "How about this, than. You sent for me with a limousine, of all things, just to show off. Strike one. Then, you tried to get me to leave without telling my boyfriend where I was going or even that I was leaving. Strike two. And finally, you had me taken to an extravagant hotel and into your suite, where the only other people present were another attractive female of legal age and a surprisingly strong elderly man. Strike three. I don't know about you, but to me that just seems a little bit like you're trying to seduce me."

L stared at her unblinkingly for a bit and then nodded once. "While all of that is accurate, you were and are aware that I hold no romantic or sexual feelings for you. Your argument is void in this context."

"And if I wasn't aware of that?"

"Sorry to disappoint."

Ella growled. "Look, _detective_. I am bleeding from my vagina and I have just broken up with my first boyfriend in my favorite adorable cafe of all places, which I will never be able to show my face in again. I show up here after just having finished crying to find my only friend had been working for you for probably most of the time I've known her, and has proven to value you over me. Yes, I'm annoying. Yes, I'm unstable. But I am a seventeen year old girl. Forgive me if I'm not at anything resembling my best right now."

L pressed his thumb to his lips and stared at her for a bit. Ella decided to focus on him instead of Naomi, who was looking at her rather guiltily at the moment. "Mariella Johnson, would you mind taking a test for me?"

Ella furrowed her eyebrows. "I just told you I'm not at my best, Ryu. Whatever test you give me, I'll probably fail."

He hummed. "I would like you to try anyway."

She stared back at him for a bit. "That wasn't a suggestion was it."

He smiled lightly and took out three pictures, setting them on the table in between them. While he was doing that, Naomi and Watari left the room. _That seems very unsafe. I could kill him if I wanted to and they just left me alone with him. Not that I want to, but the point is I could._

"Mariella Johnson."

She shook her head. "Sorry, what?"

"I would like you to tell me if you notice anything odd about these pictures."

Ella rolled her eyes and looked down at them. _Oh. Right_. She raised her head and looked at L blankly. "Ryu, is there any particular reason you thought it a good idea to show an emotionally unstable girl crime scene photographs?"

He nibbled on his thumb. _Aww. No. Not adorable._ "It's a test."

"I know it's a-!"

"Keep looking, Mariella Johnson."

Her eyebrow twitched and she threw her hands up. "Looking for what?!"

"If I told you that, it would defeat the whole purpose of the test."

Ella sighed and ran a hand through her hair, leaning her head on the other one and staring down at the pictures. She looked up at L again, quickly. "Wait."

He stared at her unblinkingly. "Yes?"

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "You gave me all the photos, right? You're not hiding anything in those baggy clothes of yours that would prevent me from passing this test unless I asked for it, right?"

L smiled wider and pushed the fourth photo in front of her. She glared at him. "Ryu!"

"Yes, Mariella Johnson?"

"Okay, first of all, stop that with the saying my full name out loud thing. It's creeping me out."

"And what else, Mari?"

She cringed slightly. "That's almost worse, but I'll take it. Secondly, that was cheating!"

"It's not cheating if I'm not the one taking the test."

"Yes it is! It's withholding important information. You're a detective! You of all people should know better than to do that!"

"I may explain my methods to you after you finish your test."

"No 'may' business, you will."

"No more talking for the duration of your test."

"But-"

"No."

"Ryu-"

"No."

"What if I-"

"Mari."

She huffed and crossed her arms. "I-"

L was suddenly crouched in front of her. She stared at him oddly. _How did he get here so fast?_ "Ryu-"

"Shh."

Ella looked at him incredulously. "What are you-?"

She stopped talking.

 _Did he really just do that?_

 _He really just did that._

L, the greatest detective in the world, had just taken his his hand, moved it to the side of her mouth, and used an imaginary zipper to zip it shut.

She blinked once in both annoyance and disbelief.

 _I'm in a fucking crack fic, aren't I?_

L stared down at her sternly.

Ella, who was now extremely affronted, could only stare at him with shocked, betrayed eyes.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly and he pointed to the photos.

Ella continued to glare at him.

He gestured to the photos again, this time with more vigor.

She turned her head away pointedly.

He sighed noiselessly and used his hand to turn her head to the test.

Ella deflated and looked up at him like a kicked puppy.

He looked at her sternly.

She nodded her head in defeat.

L smiled and backed away from her, knowing he had won.

Ella looked at the pictures one by one and took enough time to make it seem like she was really trying, which wasn't that difficult at all, considering she really was trying to remember where the message was.

When she saw it, she sat up straight in her chair and raised her hand.

L went over and unzipped her mouth. "Yes, Mari?"

She clapped her hands once. "Alright, so it took a while, but there's a message in the pictures, right?" At L's nod, she continued. "So, it goes in the order you set them up: 'L, did you know, gods of death love apples, with red hands', but the whole 'red hands' bit doesn't really make sense in context. Plus, it's choppy when added to the rest. So, I'm guessing, since that was also the one you were holding back, that it's a fake? So the real message is: 'L, did you know, gods of death love apples?' Which, to be fair, also doesn't make much sense, but it flows better, y'know? Of course you know, you're L. Did I get it right?"

At this point Ella was bouncing in her seat. L looked at her unblinkingly for a moment before nodding. "Yes, you did get it right. Which means you will understand why I suspect you of being an accomplice to Kira."

Ella stopped bouncing. "You what?"

L turned his attention from his liquified sugar to her. "As you have made it clear that you know, I am L. The Kira case is one of the most difficult ones I have taken on thus far, though I am confident that I will be able to convict Kira soon. There are many reasons to suspect you, but I suspect a majority of them have been planted by you to get my attention. The most relevant piece of evidence I have collected regarding your guilt is the test that you have just taken. Or, rather, the message revealed in the test."

Ella looked at him in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"Light Yagami, the main suspect in the Kira case, was your boyfriend up until earlier today-"

"Gee, thanks for reminding me I no longer have a boyfriend."

He continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "And he had a specific pet name for you. I trust you remember what it was?"

She looked at him as if he was an idiot. "Of course I remember what it was. He called me- Oh."

L looked at her in the same way he had been looking at the cake Watari had set in front of him. _Woah, deja vu_. "And I should hope you remember the message."

Ella glared indignantly. "Hey, wait a minute! You can't honestly believe that I'm the Apple that Kira was talking about! When did this even happen, anyway? I didn't see anything about messages in blood on the news."

"That's because it was never reported."

"There you go, hiding important information again!"

"To answer your question, these photos were taken around the eleventh of January."

Ella pointed at him. "There you go! I hadn't even met Light until..."

"Well before then. I believe the eleventh was around a week or so before you first met the rest of the Yagami patriarch."

Ella grimaced slightly. "Yeah, well, even if I was the Apple in this equation, which I most definitely am not, than who's the God of death?"

He looked at her as if she was an idiot.

She groaned and threw herself back on the couch. _Are you fucking kidding me right now?_ "I hate that this makes sense."

L hummed around a bite of strawberry short cake. "Of course you do. It may very well be your downfall."

Ella scrunched up her nose. "And I hate your stupid logic and reasoning and dramatics."

"That's unfortunate."

Ella ignored him. "And if Light were Kira, which is slightly ridiculous, and I knew about it or was helping him, which is even more ridiculous, he would not let me dump him at all."

"Unless it was staged."

She sat up straight and threw a cushion at his face, trying not to find the 'thwump' sound it made when it connected amusing. "It was not staged, you prick!"

She watched as the cushion slowly detached itself from his face. When it finally fell off, his eyes looked wider than they had before. He touched his own face and seemed to be giving his own weirdly adorable version of a pout. "It was only a suggestion."

Ella burst into giggles.

He looked at her questioningly.

She shook her head and calmed down. "Sorry. That was adorable."

He looked at her unblinkingly in slight disbelief.

She shrugged and picked up a watermelon flavored lollipop, twirling it between her fingers. "I'm not taking it back, _dulcesito_."

"¿ _Usted habla espaniol?_ "

Ella smiled sarcastically and stuck the lollipop in her mouth. " _No, hablo tortuga._ "

He stared at her with an unamused expression.

She huffed. " _Nadie aqui entiende una broma_."

He smiled. " _Si lo entendi. Solo no era chistoso._ "

Ella stuck her tongue out at him and turned away. She muttered under her breath. " _Puto_."

" _Yo hoi eso._ "

" _Es lo que quieria._ "

Naomi walked in and put on her coat quickly.

Ella stared at her. "Whatcha doin?"

Naomi glance at them. "Oh, are you two done flirting in Spanish? Good. Ella, we have to go right now."

Ella stood up immediately. "What's wrong?"

"The cat's back."

She rushed over and put on her own coat. "What did he do?"

Naomi looked at her like she was an idiot.

 _So now she decides to be discreet. And I'm getting real tired of that look!_ "Fine. You know, we should probably feed him more."

Naomi shrugged and made to leave.

"What are you doing?"

Ella glanced at L. "Going home. Someone has to feed the cat."

"Misora can do that. You are not permitted to leave here until you are absolutely cleared of suspicion."

She rolled her eyes and walked out the door. "Later, sweetcheeks, my cat is more important than this."

"19%."

She kept walking. "Yeah, whatever."

Naomi was the only one who made it out of the building.

To her credit, she had looked almost as irritated as Ella by this development, but there was nothing she could do unless she wanted to be a suspect too.

 _L is an asshole._

Ella pouted from where she was handcuffed to L's chair as he worked on his stupid computers. "L, you're an asshole."

He didn't respond.

She glared. "And you eat too much sugar."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

Ella glared harder and then sighed. _No use being a child if he's gonna be an adult about it._ "What about school, then?"

"The only reason you got in was because of your now ex-boyfriend, but you may accompany me when I go if you wish."

"Am I gonna be handcuffed to you then?"

"Not unless you'd like to be."

She scrunched up her nose. "That's inappropriate school time behavior."

"Yes, I suppose that would raise some questions."

Ella sighed and leaned on L's chair. _I hate my life._ "When's the entrance ceremony?"

"You don't know?"

"I only took the test because Yagami wanted me to go with him, give me a break."

"You seem awfully blasé about a break up that happened earlier today."

Ella shrugged. _Over it._ "I already cried all over your limo. Plus, it was only a month long relationship. It's not like I expected to marry him or something."

"Than why did you tell him you loved him?"

She smiled. "To see if he'd lie back."

There was a pause while he mulled this over.

"Ella."

"L."

"20%."

"Figured."


	14. One Month LaterEntrance Ceremony

It was the day of the entrance ceremony, and Ella was dressed to the nines for it.

She didn't really care about it at all, but since she'd be seeing Kira again for the first time in a month and L had informed her that she would be standing with them on stage (because apparently the one she thought was right was wrong and she'd corrected it by accident, which was absolutely way too convenient for her taste, and she'd spent about a week breaking things and screaming into her pillow when she remembered it), she wanted to look like she belonged with the snooty smart people of To-Oh.

That, and she was allowed to use one of L's credit cards to buy new clothes since he wouldn't let Naomi bring her any of her own, for some reason. He'd yet to ask about the locket, for which she was grateful, but she did wake up from a nap one time to his hands disconcertingly close to her neck.

She'd stared at him for a moment, which he apparently took to mean he could reach closer, at which point she kicked him in the stomach.

They had both ended up on the floor ( _stupid handcuffs_ ) and Ella had had a long chat with him about personal space, at which point he had apologized (read: tried to shut her up) with his credit card.

Ella forgave him immediately.

So, now she was dressed in a short navy dress with a cream blazer and red kitten heels, brushing her hair in the mirror in her ensuite bathroom. She'd gotten her own room for sleeping and for hiding in when the task force came in to work. The cameras didn't really faze her most of the time anymore, but she did get annoyed at being handcuffed to the bed every night to make sure she couldn't leave.

Soichiro Yagami was not someone she wanted to see at the moment. He'd ask questions about Light and questions about Sayu (who she was trying very hard not to think about) and she really didn't want that.

So, there she was, straightening out her outfit and hair, and waiting for L to finish up whatever it was that he was doing, because it sure as hell wasn't his hair. She had tried to get L to at least brush his hair, but he had asked her what was wrong with it in the most confused tone of voice that she didn't have the heart to tell him.

Yes, he's a manipulative asshole and she's a manipulative bitch, but he acted so much like a child sometimes that Ella had trouble keeping up the sarcastic insults.

Which was probably why he did it.

 _Damn him._

"Are you finished?"

Ella jumped and turned to L, who was suddenly in her doorway. "I've been finished. Where are your shoes?"

"In the car. Come."

She rolled her eyes and followed him out, putting her phone (that L had provided for her with Watari's number in it, along with a tracking device built in 'in case she got lost'. _Prick_.) in her bra and taking out a lollipop to suck on. "I know I look good, Cookie Monster, but that's a little vulgar."

He paused, gave her a look, and then kept walking.

She smiled as she stepped into the car. It was a Range Rover, which she guessed was better than the limo, but it was still too flashy for her.

If only it wasn't bright pink.

When they got to the ceremony, she sat in the back next to L. She didn't really have a choice in the matter, but she didn't mind that. It was very far from Light's spot, which was good enough for her.

Around thirty minutes into the ceremony, Ella was getting antsy. When she kept shifting in her seat, L glanced at her.

She grimaced.

He turned back to the front.

She frowned. _What a p-_

"And now, our freshmen representative, Light Yagami."

There was polite applause.

"And our second freshmen representative, Hideki Ryuuga."

More polite applause, along with confused muttering.

Ella grinned.

"And finally, our third freshmen representative, Mari Ella."

As she stood up and made her way to the front, she could feel the eyes on her.

"A third representative?"

"And a female, at that?"

"She's got legs, though, doesn't she?"

"You're such a pervert, Riki!"

"It's not perverted if it's true."

Ella decided to stop listening after that.

She made her way between L and Kira, ignoring the way the latter's eyes were looking up and down her body.

She leaned toward L. "Why am I up here again?"

"I don't know. They called up a Mari Ella."

She rolled her eyes. _My name is more real than yours, puffball._ "You're one to criticize, Ryuuga Hideki."

The muttering started again.

"Wow, they're all so different to each other."

"Not really. The only odd one is the one with the bed hair and the untied sneakers."

"No, I think the girl's weird too. Look at how she ignores the attractive one? He's obviously interested and she's talking to the weird one."

"You're right."

"Maybe she likes the freaky ones?"

Correction: _that's_ when she stopped listening.

Shifting slightly to the other side, she looked at Light. She smiled. "Fancy seeing you here."

He looked at her politely. "Do I know you?"

She raised her eyebrows. _Wow_. "Seriously, Smarty? I put on a dress, and suddenly you don't know what my face looks like?"

His eyes widened, and she heard Ryuk laughing. _Does he do anything else?_ "Apple?"

"It's Mari, here, thanks."

He looked like he was going to ask her something, but she turned away.

She stood there and listened to the other two's speeches, trying not to yawn.

When it was her turn, she played the good girl. "Hello. I am Mari Ella. I understand that you've been sat here for a while, so I won't take too much time. We are all here because we earned our way in, and we will continue to try hard and succeed to own our diplomas. I hope to get to know each of you and make connections with each other that last into our adult lives, both in business and in friendship." She bowed and smiled prettily. "Thank you."

When they were sat in the crowd again, Ella ignored the looks Light was giving her.

When L began his whole 'you are light Yagami and I have something to tell you' spiel, Light began to glare, and Ella began to smirk.

When Light finished with 'I am L', she watched Light carefully. He froze for a moment, before frostily responding that, if he was who he said he was, he had nothing but Light's respect.

A normal person would be shown surprise, and not outward contempt, but Light Yagami was not a normal person.

 _For one thing, he now thinks I cheated on him with the greatest detective in the world._

She smiled lightly and leaned back on her seat, ignoring the look her movement had gotten her from Light.

 _He's wondering if I told? No, he knows I couldn't, without putting myself into deeper suspicion._

 _He's wondering if I knew before now that Ryu was L._

She glanced at him and winked.

He looked livid for a second before his face went cold and he turned back around.

She took a deep breath and grinned.

 _I'm an asshole._

 _But he's a murderer, so it's not as bad for me to try to hurt him as bad as I possibly can._

Ella walked between the great detective L and her murderer ex-boyfriend Kira.

And yes, it was as uncomfortable as it sounds.

Light cleared his throat. "So, Ryuuga, you know Apple-"

Ella glanced at him. "It's Mari, now."

He looked a bit annoyed. "You know _Mari_ well, than?"

L hummed, studying Light with his unnerving eyes. "I suppose you could say that."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, did she not tell you? She's been staying with me for a month now."

Light glared at Ella. "Oh?"

Ella glared at L. "You make it sound so scandalous, Ryu."

"Yes, I suppose it could be seen that way, what with you moving in with me the exact day you broke up with your boyfriend at this cafe while I was in the phone with you."

Ella grimaced at him mockingly. _He's such an asshole._ "Well, the handcuffs were definitely a factor that kept me from leaving. Not to mention the whipped cream and strawberries. You sure know how to feed my cravings."

Light looked a cross between angry and disgusted. He walked in ahead of them. "When you two are done disgusting-sorry, I meant discussing- your personal matters, I'd love to talk."

Ella looked after him oddly. _Is he...?_

"It seems Yagami-kun is jealous of our..."

"Newfound closeness and completely innocent discussion?"

"Implied sex life."

Ella blinked rapidly to get rid of any images involving sex and L from her mind before following Light. "Honestly, Ryu? Please never use the word sex in a sentence that pertains to the two of us, unless it's 'we will never have sex'. Please."

He said nothing, which Ella took to be an agreement.

After they sat down and ordered, L stared at Light.

After an uncomfortably long moment (so long that the waitress had brought them their food and L's coffee was getting cold), Light smiled politely. "Isn't there something you want to talk about?"

Ella sat back and nibbled on her brownie. "Yeah, sweetypie, hurry up."

Light looked mildly uncomfortable when L didn't react to the nickname.

"Mari, please refrain from speaking until I tell you to."

Ella rolled her eyes and saluted him. "Yes, sir."

Light looked at her incredulously. "You're giving in that easily?"

She shrugged, sipping her coffee. "I learned my lesson last time. I don't want him to do that again."

"Do what?!"

"Mari."

She gave L a glare and Light a peace sign, but she stopped talking.

Light looked at her judgmentally. He actually sort of looked like he her counselor and was very disappointed in her life choices.

She fought a grimace.

 _You're one to talk, Mr. Pretty Boy Murderer. Prick._

"Light Yagami, please stay on task. I have a test for you."

Light took his eyes from her to look at L. "What sort of test?"

Ella spoke. "It's to test your intelligence or something."

L gave her a look. "Mari."

She shrugged. "Just trying to hurry things along."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"You and your dramatics, Ryu. You know what I think?"

"Most likely."

"I think you could be Kira just because you want people to root for you and they would either way."

"Mari."

"Ryu."

"Stop talking."

"Hurry up, than."

Light cleared his throat pointedly.

She stuck her tongue out at L and turned back to her food.

L turned back to Light and pulled out the three real crime scene photographs. "Please analyze these photographs and tell me if you find anything unusual."

Light immediately pretended to look for the message he wrote. "When did this happen? I didn't see anything about this on the news."

L placed his thumb to his mouth. "That's because these incidents were never reported. The press was told that all of these were heart attacks."

Light eventually decided to act like be found the message, at which point L took out the fourth photo and Ella looked pointedly away from them and at Ryuk, who had been oddly quiet lately.

She raised an eyebrow at him as she pretended to admire the wallpaper.

He chuckled. "Ya wondering why I haven't been making fun of you and Light, aren't ya?"

Ella tilted her head to the side before taking out her phone and fiddling with it.

Ryuk laughed again. "Light doesn't like me talking to you. Which is why I decided to talk to you right now."

Ella's lip twitched and she glanced at the two geniuses beside her. She rolled her eyes and continued to fiddle.

Ryuk stuck his head through the table and looked at her.

She didn't jump, though she did cough lightly, turning it into a pointed yawn when Light glanced at her.

"Aren't ya gonna ask why I'm talking to you after so long?"

She sighed and put her phone away, leaning her head on her hand, watching L and Light play their little murder game. She tapped her fingers on the table.

Ryuk lowered his voice. "It's cause I think that you're gonna win this little game. Neither of them even know you're a player yet. It's fascinating how your gender automatically disqualified you from the game in their minds."

Ella smirked at the table, but she was confused. _I'm not a player. I'm just here to fuck with things._

She shook her head and turned back to the boys.

 _They're still not done? Oh well._

Ella felt like being obnoxious (being cooped up and handcuffed to various things for the majority of a month will do that), so she abruptly leaned back in her seat and groaned. Loudly.

When they, along with the waiter who was passing by, turned to look at her, she smiled sweetly. "Sorry, I just got so bored of your game that I decided to pleasure myself under the table. Hope you don't mind."

Light looked a cross between disbelief and annoyance, with a bit of a blush on his face.

L just looked unamused.

She smiled wider and stood up. "Well, don't know about you, but I'm finished, I think I'll go wait in the car. Later, Ryu."

L was about to speak when all three of their phones went off.

Ella looked down and froze.

 _Well. How's that for mood whiplash._

She looked at Light, who was even paler than she was. She felt a pang in her chest. _Fuck, I hate it when he has feelings._ "Smarty..."

L stood quickly. "Come, Yagami-kun, Mari. The car is outside."

As they rushed out of the cafe, Ella felt slightly sick.

Soichiro Yagami had just had a heart attack.

She knew it didn't kill him canonically, but she was also not even in this world canonically.

What would seeing her do to him in this state?

She sat next to Light and didn't protest when he grabbed her hand, and L didn't point it out, probably too busy pondering if Light was far gone enough to kill his own father.

He wasn't, and Ella wanted to slap him for even thinking it. That worried her slightly, but she pushed that worry away. Now was not the time for stupid problems like that.

She was panicking, even through she knew it was irrational. Deep down, she knew he would survive this.

But there was still that small chance that he wouldn't. And if he didn't, it would be her fault.


	15. At the HospitalAwkward

By the time they got to the hospital, Ella was gripping Light's hand as tightly as he was gripping hers.

They got out of the limo and followed L, waiting impatiently as he got through the secretary and then practically running to the hospital room. Light let her go as soon as the door was opened, rushing to his father's side.

"Dad!"

Ella only let herself breathe when she saw that Soichiro was alive.

She sighed and sagged against the doorway.

 _Thank God. This would've pushed Light over the edge a lot sooner than canon. Shit, was that insensitive?_

"Nita?"

She started, turning to the direction the voice came from. She suddenly felt ten times worse. _Yep._ "Hey, Sayu."

Sayu looked at her slightly cautiously. "Er, not to be rude or anything, but... Why are you here?"

Ella smiled weakly. "I was with Light and Ryu when we got the news."

Sayu looked suspicious. "You were with my brother?"

Ella didn't let her confusion show. "Er, yes?"

She suddenly looked angry. "Don't lie to me! You _messed up_ my brother! Why would you be together?"

Ella held her hands up and leaned slightly away. "I really didn't?"

Sayu started waving her arms around wildly. "Stop lying, Nita! Light's been complaining about how much time you spend with another guy for like a month!"

Ella raised her eyebrows. "He has?"

Sayu nodded rapidly. "Totally! He talks to himself in his room sometimes, it's kinda freaky. But geniuses do weird stuff, so I don't tell anyone. And that's not the point!"

Ella nodded back. _Fuck, am I really?_ "Sayu, I..."

She looked confused. "What is it?"

Ella chickened out. "I really hate being named after a fruit."

Sayu looked simultaneously confused, like she wanted to smile, and like she felt guilty about wanting to smile.

Ella sighed, walked over and pulled Sayu into a hug.

Sayu tentatively hugged her back. "Nita? You okay?"

Ella grimaced lightly. "I'm fine, Sayu, are you? I didn't even ask!"

Sayu pulled back and held her at arm's length. "I could be better, but Dad's... Alive, so I have nothing to complain about. Can I ask you a question?"

Ella nodded, stepping back. "Of course, anything."

Sayu chewed on her lip, and looked at Ella straight in the eye. "Why did you break up with my brother?"

Ella started. "He didn't tell you?"

Sayu looked vaguely annoyed. "No, he doesn't tell me anything. He'd rather be cooped up in his bedroom studying or yelling at air."

Ella bit the inside of her cheek. _Fuck, what do I tell her?_

Light called her quietly. "Apple, my dad wants to talk to you."

Ella sighed and looked at Sayu apologetically. _I can't leave her without an answer, that'd just be a dick move._ "We just don't like each other like that anymore."

She turned and tried to walk past Light and into the hospital room. He stopped her. "Apple?"

She closed her eyes and slowly breathed out through her nose. She spoke quietly so Sayu wouldn't hear. "Don't call me that."

She walked in and to Soichiro's bedside, ignoring L. She smiled weakly. "Hey, Mr. Yagami."

He looked at her. "Nita."

They stared at each other for a bit before she started to get uncomfortable. She cleared her throat. "Um, I'm glad you're okay and everything, but with all due respect, sir, is there a reason you wanted to talk to me?"

He turned back to face the ceiling. "Do you suspect me son of being Kira?"

Ella blinked rapidly. Whatever she was expecting, it wasn't that. "What?"

He looked strained. "You broke my son's heart for a reason. I would like to know if this is it."

Ella felt really really shitty for what she was about to do. _Greater good. Greater good._

She nodded once and cast her eyes away, trying to hide the tears gathering. _I wasn't this emotional before. Hell, at least it helps with the emotional manipulation._

She wiped her eyes when she heard Soichiro's sharp intake of breath.

 _Fuck, I'm bitter._

She cleared her throat again and looked back at him. Her voice was croaky. _I'm pathetic. I hate this._ "I'm sorry, sir."

He just leaned back into his pillows and nodded once.

She bit her lip, ducked her head, and walked out again. She walked out of the hospital room and out of the hospital and into the car Watari had waiting outside.

She leaned her head back against the seat and let the tears drip down her face, ignoring the sense of deja vu she got because of it.

Watari looked at her through the front mirror. "Are you alright, Miss Niki?"

She smiled slightly. "Niki's fine, Mr. Hat."

"Ah. And Ella?"

She felt the tears get quicker. She curled up when a sob tore through her throat. "E-Ella's a fucking mess, Watari."

He said nothing, which she didn't mind. She knew she wouldn't exactly be an ideal conversationalist in her current state.

She felt something soft hit her face and started. She picked up the handkerchief that had hit her and looked at Watari incredulously. She hiccoughed, holding it up. "Did-did you just _th-throw_ this at me?"

He smiled at her innocently and she laughed through her crying. "Mr. Hat, that is n-no way to treat a lady!"

He chuckled a bit, turning back to the front.

Ella was in the middle of cleaning herself up when L opened the door. She heard the Light tell him that he wanted to join the task force and groaned internally. She had stopped listening once L had gotten in and jumped when Light called her name.

She looked at him, knowing she probably had circles under her eyes from crying. Not that it matters. "Yeah, Light?"

He looked concerned. "Are you alright? You look like you've been crying."

She cracked a small smile. "You would know, right?"

 _Shit shit shit, why did I say that?!_

He looked genuinely hurt for a split second before he covered it up and she felt so much worse than she already had.

 _Oh my god, I'm an asshole. I'm such an asshole. His dad just had a heart attack. And I said that. Oh my god._

She stuttered a bit. "S-sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't even ask and its your- I'm sorry."

He smiled politely. "It's fine. I'm fine. I'll let you two get home."

He tapped the window and in a moment of desperation Ella crawled over L and grabbed Light's hand. He looked at her in surprise.

She blushed a bit and squeezed his hand. She blurted out the first thing that came to her. "Talk to Sayu."

He looked oddly disappointed before he pulled his hand from hers. "What?"

She let him go and ignored L's insistent poking of her back to get her off. "She misses you. Please talk to her more, Light."

He searched her eyes for a bit before he nodded curtly.

She smiled as Watari began to drive and his silhouette faded and swatted at L's hand so she could crawl back to her seat.

After a moment, she found she couldn't move any farther back and looked behind her to see L staring at his hand in complete befuddlement.

It was tangled in her dress.

She looked at him incredulously. "Ryu, how did that even happen?!"

He looked terribly confused, but spoke in his usual monotone. "Don't be alarmed, but I suspect your dress may have eaten my hand."

Ella somehow sighed and snorted at the same time and angled her body so that her back was to L. _Why is this my life?_ "L, unzip my dress."

The car lurched and L stiffened slightly. "There is a 74% chance that that is not the best option."

She rolled her eyes and huffed. "Mr. Hat, keep your eyes on the road. L, this is currently the _only_ option, so just unzip my fucking dress before it rips and so do you."

It took a moment, but L complied.

In the back of a limousine on a busy moonlit street sat a girl in her underclothes with a blazer and a sleep deprived man with a dress hopelessly tied around his hand.

Ella sat there shivering for a bit before she was fed up. "L, give me your shirt."

"No."

She turned to him slowly. Her eye twitched. "No?"

"...No."

She glared at him and watched as he tensed. "Watari, how exactly would it affect the Kira case if L disappeared?"

"Very strongly, I'm afraid."

"Pity."

L relaxed slightly.

"Fortunately, there are a few trainee L's ready to take his place at the drop of a hat."

Ella grinned. "Brilliant."

L looked betrayed and turned to Ella apprehensively. "Now, Mari, let's not do anything hasty. You wouldn't want Kira to win, would you? Unless you were helping him, of course."

She leaned toward him. "The Mini Yous can handle it."

"21%."

"How unfortunate."

When L walked in in Watari's blazer and his baggy jeans and Ella's dress around his arm, with Ella in his shirt that almost went down to her knees, she felt a bit guilty about the stares.

As the two rode the elevator (Watari was parking the limo), they avoided eye contact.

Ella cleared her throat.

L spoke. "We will never speak of this."

She nodded quickly. "Agreed."

They listened to the elevator music in silence.

The next morning, Ella went through the main room to get to the kitchen.

When she came back out carrying a tray of various chocolate related treats she noticed the stares.

She looked at the task force, all accounted for accept for Soichiro, and tilted her head. _Oh yeah. They're here. Oops._ "There's more in the kitchen if you want, but I'm not sharing."

The one she knew to be Matsuda spoke. "Why are you wearing Ryuzaki's shirt?"

Aizawa spoke up. "Never mind that! Who are you?"

She kept her posture the same and ignored the first question. "I'm Mari. And you are?"

Aizawa glared a bit. "Why are you here?"

She kept still, trying not to drop the tray that was getting steadily heavier as she stood there. "I live here."

"What do you mean you-?!"

She growled and shot an annoyed glance at L, who was watching intently and absolutely being no help at all. "I mean, I _live_ here, and that idiot over there didn't bother to mention me. I've lived here for almost as long as you and your task force have been coming here, sir, and if you don't believe me ask Ryu. Now, if that's all, I'm going back to my room before all of my food ends up on the ground and the tray ends up lodged in one of your guys' esophaguses."

She turned and walked away.

Aizawa was angry. "IS THAT A THREAT?!"

"ABSOLUTELY!"

She slammed the door and climbed into bed with her food.

She heard a tapping on her window.

She ignored it, biting into an eclair.

The tapping grew more insistent.

She shoved a bonbon in her mouth.

 _'Oi, ponytail! Let me in!'_

Her head snapped up and she got up and rushed over to the window to let the cat in. "Oh my god, how did you get all the way up here, kitty?"

 _'I'm magic, remember?'_

She picked up the cat and placed it on the bed with her. "You must be freezing, you alright?"

 _'Yes, I'm fine. Also, you can speak to me telepathically, in case you don't remember, so it's not necessary to look like a crazy person and talk out loud in front of the cameras.'_

Ella paused and looked up slowly. _Shit, you're right._ "I'm talking to a cat."

 _'Obviously.'_

She turned to the camera in the corner. "Ryu, I'm speaking to a cat. This is all your fault for not letting me outside to interact with other people. I am keeping the shirt as punishment."

There was no response, which Ella took to mean assent.

She nodded once and turned back to the cat. "Now, strange kitty, what should I call you?"

 _'Well, my other charge calls me Oni, which is apparently a white ferret thing from some obscure video game she likes, but traditionally every charge names their guardian themselves.'_

Ella tapped her chin thoughtfully and then snapped her fingers. "I'm gonna call you Rem."

The cat stared. _'But won't that get confusing to narrate once Misa-Misa shows up?'_

 _It's already been confusing with my random name changes, and I was going to use it when I was talking to Rem to make it look like I was talking to you, but fine._ Ella shrugged. "Yeah, you're right, Rem's boring. Hmm."

' _Just call me Oni, this is taking forever.'_

 _But originality-_

 _'You have renamed yourself like four times, just let me have this.'_

She sighed. _Fine_. "Oni. You're Oni. Like 'brother', but not at all, because you're a cat. I'm going insane and it is all Ryu's fault."

' _Yeah, blame the Panda.'_

She wrinkled her nose. _Is there a reason you're here? Or is Lulu at school?_

 _'Her name is Liz.'_

 _Sorry. So, is there?_

 _'As a Guide, it's my duty to check on all of my charges.'_

 _Ha. Duty._

 _'I really wish you weren't as stupid as you are.'_

 _Hey!_

 _'Also, Naomi sent me to say she was going to confront Yagami and not to try to stop her.'_

"WHAT?!"

' _You said that out loud.'_

Ella ran out the bedroom door, pulling on boots and her coat before rushing towards the door.

"Mari, what are you doing?"

"Naomi's in trouble and I have to go!"

"Mari-"

"Ella, I'm right here. What are you talking about?"

Ella turned slowly to face Naomi and let out a breath. She stared for a moment before she burst into tears and ran to her, pulling her into a hug.

Naomi patted her back awkwardly. "Ellie, what happened? Why'd you think I was in trouble?"

"O-Oni..."

"Oni? The cat?"

"Y-yes-"

Ella detached herself quickly and wiped her face. _That damn cat better fucking run._

 _'Eep!'_

"You know what, that doesn't matter. You're fine and not going to go do anything stupid like confront Kira on your own."

L chewed on his finger. "Your cat told you that?"

She glared and pointed at him. "It's your fault i was talking to a cat in the first place, you prick!"

"You use the word prick so much it's begun to lose meaning."

She growled at him before turning around and stomping back to her room. "Oni, I want an explanation."

 _'I just wanted to see if you had emotions, which, congratulations, you do!'_

"Of course I do, you little shit, and you're about to feel them!"

 _'You know, I think I hear Liz calling me from a different dimension, so I think I should go see what she wants.'_

"Wh-"

 _'Bye!'_

"ONI!"

Inside the computer room was a very confused detective and a former FBI agent who was trying desperately to keep a straight face.

L places his thumb to his lip and nibbled. "Misora, is there any particular reason Mari is yelling at a cat?"

Naomi resisted the urge to snort. "Probably."

"Do you know what it could be?"

Naomi shrugged. "It may have something to do with you isolating her from all of her friends and acquaintances."

L pondered this for a short moment before turning back to his work. "Oh well, I guess it can't be helped than."

Naomi resisted the urge to throw something.

Ella, in her room, didn't. "RYU!"

The intercom came on. "Yes?"

She shifted her feet sheepishly, "I need a new lamp."

He hummed. "Yes, I see that."

"And a new mirror."

He smiled slightly as he placed the order. "That's seven years of bad luck, you know."

She nodded. "I know."

"Anything else?"

"Some chocolate and a giant stuffed bear would be much appreciated."

Naomi raised her eyebrows as L typed in the order for the stuffed animal.

She nudged him. "Aren't you going to ask?"

He tensed slightly and she backed off. He relaxed. "No."

Naomi didn't ask why, as she was still a bit unnerved to see that the world's greatest detective looked almost exactly like Beyond Birthday.

But she shipped it.

Ella, due to the broken glass now scattered around her room, slept on the couch that night.


	16. Enter Second KiraOops

Amane Misa was simultaneously the cutest girl Ella had ever seen and the most dangerous. She was cute and knew how to use it to her advantage, but she was also childish and idealistic enough that when she was set on something she would have it.

For example, Ella's necklace.

Let's rewind.

Three weeks or so after the heart attack, the Second Kira finally made an appearance. Ella had run out with Ukita to try to prevent his unnecessary death. She'd made it out the door this time, which was nice.

They'd drove as fast as Ukita could, while Ella listened to what was happening on her phone through Matsuda. She rummaged around in Ukita's car for a suitable mask thing and threw a flower patterned scarf at Ukita. "Wrap this around your face."

His hands were tight on the steering wheel and his teeth were clenched. "What?"

Ella found a pair of sunglasses and gave them to him. "Kira needs a name and a face to kill. This person obviously only needs a face. Put those on."

He shoved the sunglasses on and threw her the scarf. "You need protection, too."

She pulled up her hood and threw the scarf back. "I'm fine. You need that."

"A hood isn't good enough-"

"It's better protection than just sunglasses, so put on the damn scarf!"

They got to the station and ran toward the building. Ella kept an eye on Ukita to make sure he didn't die on her and they made their way to the entrance.

A security guard stopped them. "No one can enter during the broadcast."

Ella leaned towards him and played with his belt, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "Pretty please, officer? There might be something in it for you later..."

He pulled away. "I'm married."

She shrugged and nodded to Ukita. "Eh, it was worth a shot."

Ukita punched the other guard then, knocking him out (Ella made a note to never get on Ukita's bad side). This, understandably, distracted the first guard, which gave Ella the opening to use the taser she'd swiped from his belt.

After Ella took his handcuffs and Ukita took the other guard's taser, they ran past them and into the building.

Ella aimed the taser at the receptionist. "Where are they broadcasting from?"

He held up his hands. "Easy, there, miss-"

She charged it higher. "Tell me right now."

"Upstairs. That's all you're getting."

She smiled and ran up with Ukita. "You see anything?"

Ukita tapped her on the shoulder and nodded to a sign beside them that said 'broadcast in progress'. She almost snorted. "Come on, then."

They burst through the door in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion. That asshole who Ella hadn't bothered to learn the name of when she watched this play out the first time smiled. "Ah, guests. Restrain them."

Ella ran up and tased him. Everyone else in the room who wasn't actually playing the tapes stared at her for a moment. She smiled as Ukita came out with the tapes in a bag and ran out the door. He looked back at her, but she waved him out.

There was a crash from the lower floor.

The building shook and Ella almost dropped her taser. _Shit. Yagami._ "Any other copies of the tapes, I need them. Hand them over now."

One of them laughed. "What's a little girl like you gonna do?"

She tased him. _Wow, I'm trigger happy. Thank god Ukita didn't give me a gun._ "That."

Soichiro ran into the room wearing a hospital gown and carrying a gun and a sack. Ella almost felt like laughing through the panic. "Give me the tapes!"

Asshole was waking up. "Wh-what's going on?"

Ella tased him again. "Nothing."

Soichiro ran up to his desk and took the real tapes from his desk while Ella traded his gun for her taser and aimed. "Bring us all the copies right now or you die."

"We'll die if we stop!"

"And if you don't I'll make it slow and painful. Now, go."

Soichiro turned to her just as her hood came completely off. "Nita?"

She nodded as the tapes were brought to her. "Sup, Yagami. We'll talk on the way out."

Soichiro got a phone call. He answered. "I need you to put Ryuzaki on the phone."

Ella took the full sack, replaced Soichiro's gun, took back her taser, and ran downstairs. She saw Ukita waiting under the stairs.

She sighed and pulled her hood back up. _Good._ "We have to wait for the Chief."

He nodded, adjusting his scarf.

She got a call. "Yes?"

"Ella, you little shit, do you know how dangerous this is?!"

"You can scold me later, Nim, but now is not the time."

"You-"

She hung up as Soichiro came downstairs. She picked up one of the bags and nodded to them. "Yagami, what did Ryu say?"

He looked a bit confused. "We're going through the front entrance."

She nodded. "Let's go than."

Ukita looked at her oddly. "Do you have a death wish?"

She almost laughed at the irony. Almost. "Nope. I just trust him."

The ride back to the hotel was long and not entirely talkative.

When they got back to the hotel room, however, it was a different story. "MARIELLA JOHNSON YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH!"

Ella felt fear for the first time in months. She hid behind Soichiro. "She's not here right now, please leave a message."

"I can see you."

"No you can't."

Naomi was suddenly beside her. "Yes, I can."

Ella shrieked and ran for her room.

Naomi tackled her and pinned her to the ground. "What do you have to say for yourself, Ella?"

She struggled a bit under her. _Damn stupidly strong former FBI agent._ "I don't know what you're talking about."

Naomi glared at her and tightened her grip on Ella's wrists. "Try. Again."

Ella wrapped her leg around one of Naomi's and reversed their positions. "Look, I'm sorry I worried you, but I'm not sorry I did it, because if I hadn't, more people would've died."

Naomi glared some more before knocking Ella off of her and standing up. "My fiancée died because of Kira. And you just went and tried to confront him."

Ella leaned on her elbows. "In my defense, it's a different Kira."

Naomi snarled. "There's two now?!"

Ella stood up quickly and nodded. "Yes, and this one's even more dangerous."

"THAN HOW IS THAT IN YOUR DEFENSE?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, I NEEDED A SEGUE!"

L spoke up. "Please elaborate on what you mean, Mari."

"I needed a segue because-"

"Mari."

She sighed. "This Kira only needs a face to kill, as demonstrated by all of the people who died today at SakuraTV."

L nodded along with the task force. "Yes, I was thinking that. Misora, please refrain from attacking Mari again."

Naomi glared at him and walked out.

He placed his thumb to his lip. "Did I say something?"

Ella grimaced at him. "Yes, Ryu, you did. And I'm not part of this task force, so I think I'll be going."

"Mari-"

"Do you want blood stains on this carpet, _chere_?"

" _Tu parle francais_?"

" _Non._ That's French for no. Bye."

"Nita-"

"Mr. Yagami, I respect you more than I respect probably anyone else currently in this room, except for Watari, but I really need to go."

"Thank you."

She paused on her way to the door. _What?_ "What?"

"Ukita probably would've died if you hadn't gone with him and made him wear that ridiculous scarf."

She squinted at him before backing toward the door again. "Yeah, probably."

Ukita nodded and bowed at the waist. "Thank you."

Ella scrunched up her nose and opened the door. "You're welcome. Look, I appreciate the appreciation, but emotional and heartwarming moments have no place in this anime."

"What?"

She disappeared behind the door. "What?"

"Mari-"

The door clicked shut.

She took a moment to cringe at the forced sentimentality of the moment before walking off to find Naomi.

A half an hour later, Ella was at the coffee shop.

She sighed.

 _Memories._

She went to her usual table and ordered the most chocolatey thing on the menu, texting Naomi for the twelfth time.

She sighed again and placed her head on the table. She heard someone slide in across from her and raise her head. "Naomi, honestly-"

Amane Misa smiled brightly at her. "Hi! I'm Misa-Misa!"

Ella stared for a moment before she grinned and sat up straight in her seat, slightly bouncing. "Hi-hi, Misa-Misa! You can call me Nita!"

Misa looked slightly offended. "Is Nita-chan making fun of Misa?"

Ella smiled. _Obviously_. "Of course not. Why would I?"

Rem spoke quietly. "Be careful, Misa. Her necklace is from the Shinigami Realm."

Misa pouted. "What's that supposed to mean? Misa isn't stupid. If you're gonna mimic Misa, at least do it well."

"I don't know what is does. Only the king and three others know."

Misa huffed at Ella.

Ella raised her eyebrow. _Alrighty, Misa Amane is a pretty good actress. Why am I surprised? And the shinigami information is new. Why does Ryuk of all shinigami's know? Off topic. Challenge accepted._

Ella sat up straight, smiled cutely, changed the pitch of her voice, and clasped her hands together in front of her chest. "Nita is so happy to meet Misa-Misa! Nita is such a huge fan! Can Nita have a picture?"

Misa got a glint in her eye and turned up her charm. She flipped her hair. "Of course! Misa is happy to meet Nita too! Misa-Misa is always happy to meet her fans!"

Ella took her phone from Ryu out of her bra and took a picture with Misa.

Ella uncrossed her legs, put her phone in her coat pocket, stood up and bowed at the waist. "Misa-Misa is so humble! Nita aspires to be like Misa-Misa when she gets _older_!"

Misa stood up too, her eyebrow twitching. She covered it up. "Nita-chan is too kind! Maybe when she _matures_ she could be in the same league as Misa!"

Rem spoke again. "Misa, this is unwise."

Ella nodded. "Misa-Misa and her smart tall purple friend should come with Nita!"

She watched and smiled wider as the color drained from Misa Amane's face. Misa brought her smile back. "Is Nita-chan okay? Misa-Misa doesn't have a purple friend! Silly Nita!"

Ella fiddled with her necklace and walked out of the booth. "Bye, Misa-Misa! Bye bye, Rem-chan!"

She skipped out the door and waited.

Misa came out looking frantic, followed by Rem. "Nita-chan! I changed my mind! I want to go with you!"

Ella made her face impassive and tapped her on the shoulder.

Misa shrieked and turned around. She smiled tightly. "Nita-chan! There you are! I was looking for you!"

Ella nodded and turned around. "Follow me so we can talk privately."

"Rem's coming too."

"Of course."

Misa followed her to the edge of a forest before she spoke nervously. "Nita isn't going to kill Misa, right?"

Ella turned toward her and raised an eyebrow. "Um, no."

Misa blushes lightly and gave a thumbs up. "Great! Just checking!"

Ella resisted the urge to snort and turned back around to walk into the trees. As soon as they were deep enough not to be seen, but still close enough to the city that she knew where they were, Ella stopped.

She turned to Misa and Rem. "Alright, lady and nongendered being, ask away."

Misa went first. "How do you know about Rem?"

"The necklace. Next."

"Where did you get the necklace?"

"Someone left it for me and now no one can take it off."

Misa's eyes glinted as she looked at the necklace.

Rem spoke. "Why do you have so many names?"

Ella shrugged. "No idea."

Misa spoke. "Which one is the real one?"

Ella grinned. "The Death Note can't kill me when I'm wearing this necklace."

Misa looked like she was trying to hide her panic, but she also looked like now she wanted the necklace more. "But Nita said she can't take it off!"

Ella grinned wider. "I am, for all intents and purposes, temporarily immortal."

Rem looked pensive. "Temporarily?"

Ella nodded. "I assume the necklace comes off once I've completed what I was sent here to do."

Rem looked thoughtful.

Misa suddenly looked excited. "You know about the death note. Do you know Kira?!"

Ella gave her a look. "Don't yell."

Misa grabbed her by the shoulders roughly, but lowered her voice. "Do you?"

Ella pushed her off, slapping her hand away when she tried to grab the necklace, and nodded. "Very well, yes."

Misa sat up from where she'd fallen, put out slightly. "What's he like?"

Ella growled and rolled her eyes, shoving her hands in her pockets, fiddling with her phone. "Evil, insane, very displeased at your defilement of his name, evil."

Misa started and bounced up. "Eh?! Displeased?! I was honoring Kira! Misa was doing what was right! To rid the world of those who oppose Kira is a step to a world of peace!"

Ella grimaced. "Kira is a murderer, Misa."

Misa stomped her foot. "Kira is a hero! Kira killed the bad man who took Misa's parents away! Kira brought me justice!"

Ella sighed. "Not the right kind of justice, Misa."

"Nita is wrong! The police couldn't do anything! Detectives couldn't do anything! The entire judicial system is flawed! It lets criminals run free even when they are clearly guilty! Kira is bringing the world justice by getting rid of the bad people!"

Nita clicked her phone off and nodded. _I was going to tell her I've made out with her idol, but she's actually made valid points and I already feel kind of guilty._

"Misa, you're right that the judicial system is flawed. But you're wrong about Kira bringing justice and peace. There will always be bad people, Misa. Kira is a human being. He won't be alive forever and when he's gone, crime will climb all the way back up."

Misa shook her head stubbornly. "That's not fair."

Ella nodded in agreement. "The world isn't fair. Now, go. I don't really think your reputation would be in the best shape if paparazzi caught you coming out of a forest with me."

Misa nodded slowly. "Yeah, probably."

Rem tensed. "Misa, the police are coming!"

Misa looked stunned for a moment before she looked furious. She lunged at Ella. "You tricked me!"

Ella nodded and grabbed her, twisting her around so that Ella was holding her arms. "Did I mention I'm an honorary member of the Kira task force?"

Misa struggled and tried to kick Ella's shins. "REM!"

Ella looked at Rem pleadingly. "This is so much better than what would've happened to her had she met Kira. Come with us. You can take her death note and keep it and she'll be safer."

Rem attacked.

The red light came back, and this time it hurt.

Ella screamed and tightened her hold on Misa.

Rem screamed and tried to let go of Ella.

Misa screamed and struggled harder.

The task force came through the trees. "What was that?!"

Misa kept screaming again and again for Rem, even as she was put under arrest.

Three police officers had to restrain her when Rem turned to dust.

"Rem...? REM!?"

"Ella? Where's Ella?!"

"Call an ambulance!"

 _That...escalated...quickly._

Ella passed out from the pain.


	17. In Hospital

When Ella woke up, everything was white, which was annoying. She never did understand why hospital rooms were so white when blood stains are so hard to clean out.

She tried to move her hand, but found an IV drip attached to it.

 _Pokey pokey needle in my hand. That wasn't there before._

She moved her other hand to her neck and sighed.

 _Magical Shinigami Necklace is still there._

 _Not dead._

 _And apparently I can actually get hurt._

 _That's a bummer._

She sighed again and forced herself to sit up.

"Oh, good, you are awake."

Ella turned toward the door and saw Naomi, Watari, and L. She tilted her head and giggled. "Woah, Ryu's actually out in public!"

Naomi grit her teeth and averted her eyes.

Ella wondered briefly what her problem was, before deciding to figure it out later.

L spoke. "You are under the influence of morphine, a strong painkiller and narcotic."

Ella giggled again and gave him a peace sign. "No shiboozle, Sherloozle."

"Pardon?"

"Brush your hair."

Watari hid an indecent snort behind a cough and went toward the bed. "Are you comfortable, Miss?"

Ella stared at him for a moment before grinning toothily. "You know, I love you, Mr. Hat. You're like the super awesome badass grandpa butler I never had. All I got was a bunch of alcoholics and a psychic cousin."

He looked slightly red behind his mustache, and he patted her on the head. "Thank you, Miss."

Ella continued to grin. "And with that said, no, I am not comfortable. This bed feels like cardboard, there's a needle penetrating one of my limbs, I'm half naked under this very thin blanket, and it smells like hospital in this hospital."

Naomi muttered quietly. "Not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate."

Ella pointed at her. "AYOOOOO!"

They all looked at her oddly.

Ella felt that if she kept grinning her face would stick so she stopped. "I hear voices in my head."

Watari looked concerned, L looked suspicious, and Naomi slapped herself on the face. "Ellie, that's just you formulating your thoughts to speak."

Ella's eyes widened. "Wow, Nimmy, you sounded really smart right then. Tell Ryu to brush his hair."

L absently fingered a lock of his hair. "I do not see why you have a problem with my hair."

Ella turned to him in surprise. "Ryu! When did you get here?"

"...I have been here the entire time."

Ella made grabby hands at him, as well as she could with only one hand free. "Come here! I gotta tell you a thing that's really important!"

"I have already stated that I am married to my work."

Ella made a face, but continued to grab at the air in his general direction. "Gross. I don't need you for romance, you silly! That's what Light was for, and we all know how well that worked out."

Naomi hit her head against the wall and Watari suddenly seemed vaguely uncomfortable.

Ella stared before she cackled. "I always knew there was something going on between Nim and Sir Hatsalot!"

Watari looked slightly alarmed.

Naomi continued to hit her head.

Ella grew frustrated. "But that's not the secret, come here, you weirdly sexually attractive hobo!"

L edged over to her bed. "I hope you realize that everything you say and said can and will be held against you."

She gripped onto his shirt. "In the coat of law?"

He placed his thumb to his mouth. "In the _court_ of law and otherwise."

She giggled and pulled him toward her. "Whatevvvvves! I've got a secret!"

"Yes. What is it?"

She looked at him as if he was the one who wasn't in their right mind. "It's a secret. Duh."

His hand twitched.

She giggled and tried to bite it.

He tried to pull away.

She pouted. "Whadaya doin? I gotta tell you a secret!"

He breathed out through his nose. "Go on."

She grinned and pulled him so her mouth was to his ear.

She spoke only slightly below speaking volume. "I know you're naaaame."

He stiffened. "That is alarming."

She cackled and let him go. "Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah!"

"Mari."

She looked at Ryu blankly for a moment.

 _I can't let him die._

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down to face level, suddenly very serious. "If you die, I will bring you back to life just so I can kill you myself for dying. Then, I will bring you back to life again so that you can convict Kira and live the rest of your life solving cases that will not even compare to the complexity and seduction this case provides. And if you die, I will never have meaningless sex with you in which we banter relentlessly until one of us climaxes and the other one gets eternal bragging rights for eternity. Have I made myself redundantly clear?"

"I believe the word you were searching for is abundantly, though both fit."

"Answer the question."

He sighed. His breath smelled like strawberries. _Darn. I'm craving strawberries now. Don't kiss him._ "Crystal."

Ella wrinkled her brow. "Who's Crystal?"

L sighed again in exasperation. "You have made yourself clear."

Ella was excited. "For realsies?"

"Yes."

She grinned and kissed his nose, before letting him go and looking at her hand expectantly.

She frowned at its opaqueness before glaring accusingly at L. "You lied to me! Give me back my smooch!"

Ryu, who had finally seemed to reach his Ella tolerance limit, began to walk quickly to the door. "Watari."

"Yes, Ryuzaki."

Ella pouted. "Hey! You come back here and face me like a woman!"

"Get well soon, Mari."

She panicked. "I love you!"

His pace barely stuttered. "You've already told me of that trick."

Ella groaned and shook her fist at nothing in particular, throwing herself back on the bed. "DAMNIT!"

The door clicked shut behind them.

Ella pouted for a moment before grinning and looking around. "Where'd you go, Nimosa?"

She heard a quiet groan and made a face. "Oh, God, _Naomi_! There are cameras in here!"

Naomi was lying on the ground in the fetal position.

Ella looked at her. "You want me to call a nursey?"

Naomi shook her head and stood up. "No thank you. I can deal with a little headache."

"You're bleeding."

She raised a hand to her forehead and looked at it. "Huh. So I am."

She collapsed on the floor.

Ella blinked once before finding the button to call the nurse and pressing it.

"Yes?"

Ella started and turned toward the door. "You got here fast."

The nurse walked in. "It's my job-oh dear."

Ella giggled. "My friend hit her head and took a nap, but she's bleeding so I called you."

He kneeled down and checked Naomi's pulse before lifting her up.

Ella raised her free hand. "Hey, Sir Nurse? What're you doing with her?"

"I'm taking her to another room."

"I feel like I should have a problem with that."

"I don't see why you would. Now, if you'll excuse me."

He walked out the door.

Ella smiled up at the ceiling.

A faraway, sane part of her knew she would regret everything that had just happened if she remembered any of it the next time she woke up.

A less sane part of her figured she could just blame the drugs.

 _Wait... Why am I on morphine? I didn't even break anything_? _What the fuck?_

She then remembered she was probably in a Fanfiction, a poorly written one at that, and somehow she'd forgotten that no one here was meant to exist and that plot holes were a regular thing in her life now.

In an unexpected moment of clarity in the midst of her Morphine addled mind was a clear thought.

 _My author sucks BAAAAALLS._

The next time she woke up, her head was a lot clearer and her self loathing was back.

 _Oh, goody._

She clenched her teeth in irritation and forced herself to sit up. She pressed the button to call the nurse and waited.

He came in almost immediately. "Oh, good, you're up. On a scale from one to ten, how is your pain?"

"Physical or emotional?"

"Physical."

"Negative two. May I leave?"

The nurse chuckled. "I'm afraid we are under strict instructions not to let you go until you've- what are you doing?"

Ella stood up, removed the needle in a way that was probably not advised, and held the back of her hospital gown closed. "Nothing,"

"Miss Nita, I really must insist-"

"Nothing's broken, there's a catheter inside of me that's making me feel very uncomfortable, and I'm hungry. I'm sorry, Sir, but I don't think I'll be the best patient to you."

The nurse stared with pursed lips before sighing. "Your husband is waiting outside. Shall I send him in?"

Ella shrugged. _Probably Ryu._ "Might as well."

The nurse left, and a moment later, Light walked in.

Ella started. "Light?"

"Who did you think it was?"

She ignored that question. "You told him we were married?"

Light shrugged indifferently. "It was the only way he'd let me in."

"But that's so weird!"

"You were obviously expecting someone who wasn't me, what makes it weird when I do it?"

"You're seventeen!"

"I'm eighteen. _You_ are seventeen."

Ella blinked at him. "You're eighteen?! When did that happen?"

"On the twenty-eighth."

"Oh."

"Yes."

She gave him a thumbs up. "Happy birthday!"

He looked at her oddly. "Thank you. Look, this isn't what I came here to discuss."

Ella nodded and gestures for him to continue. _He's an adult now. The fuck._ "What you want?"

He looked at her intensely. "I want you."

Ella made a face and subtly backed away. _If I back away, maybe he'll leave._ "I'm not an object, super nerd. You can't just have me."

He crossed over to her and cupped her face in his hands. _Nope, that didn't work._ "Apple, you know what I mean."

She stood very still. _If I don't move, maybe he'll leave._ "You are making me very uncomfortable."

He leaned closer, taking her lack of movement as a sign to continue to invade her personal space. "Nita, I'm serious. You know what I can do."

 _Nope. That also did not work._

She swatted his hands away. _Wait_. "Was that a euphemism?"

He grimaced. "Manzanita! Take this seriously!"

She looked at him in surprise. _Haven't been called that in forever._ "Light, I am not going to date you again."

He looked affronted. "Why not? You did the first time!"

She threw her hands up. "It wasn't even real the first time!"

"You kissed me!"

"You kissed me first!"

"You said you loved me!"

"AND YOU DIDN'T SAY IT BACK!"

There was a silence. "Apple..."

She held her hand up and waved it in his general direction. _What the fuck._ "Nope."

"Apple, I-"

"NOPE."

"I-"

She covered her ears. "NOPE NOPE NOPE VISITING HOURS ARE OVER I AM AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO-"

Light grabbed her by the shoulders. "I LOVE YOU!"

She slumped, suddenly feeling both very annoyed and very defeated. She pushed him off of her. "Liar."

He stumbled and looked confused. "What?"

She chewed on the inside of her mouth for a moment before walking over to the bed. "If you think just saying that will make me change my mind, you are very very wrong."

He looked even more confused. "What?"

She scrunched up her face. "Light, I don't love you."

He flushed slightly. "I don't believe you."

"That's fine."

"What?"

Ella pressed the button for the nurse. "I want a divorce."

He just looked incredibly confused at this point.

The nurse came in. "Yes, Miss?"

Light turned and walked out.

She smiled at the nurse tiredly. _I hate myself, I hate him, I hate the fucking Entity that dropped me here_. "What's your name, Nurse?"

"Tano, miss."

She nodded. _I hate my author, I hate skirts, I hate myself_. "Alright, Nurse Tano. When can I check out?"


	18. Cats and Kisses

When Ella finally got home (and by home she meant the brand new headquarters that had apparently been finished in her absence), the first thing she did was take a shower.

The second thing she did was cry, cuddling up with her new giant stuffed bear. She named it Jumin.

And the third thing she did was confront L about the whereabouts of Misa Amane.

"Where is she?"

He didn't look up. "Misora is collecting her belongings from her apartment."

She sighed through her nose. "You know that's not who I'm- Wait. How come she gets to bring her things and I don't?"

"Because they are hers."

"Ryu! I want my stuff!"

"No."

"No?"

He fixed her with a look. "The last time you left the building, you met up with someone you shouldn't have and ended up in the hospital because of it."

"I caught the second Kira!"

"While that may be true, your actions were reckless and I shouldn't have let you leave."

"Let me-"

"I am displeased to say that I don't even know how you found her. You are now no longer allowed outside of this building without at least two chaperones to make sure you stay out of trouble."

 _Well, I fucked up._ "Two?"

He turned back to his computer. "You're lucky I'm letting you go outside at all. It has become apparent to me that you are more of a danger than I had accounted for. I apologize for having miscalculated."

Ella pushed back the stab of shame she felt at having disappointed a fictional character and bit the inside of her cheek. _Okay. New topic._ "L?"

"Hm."

"I need to see Misa."

He gave her a look.

She clenched her teeth and grabbed his arm, pulling him up off his chair.

She could tell he was about _this close_ to kicking her in the face, but he let her drag him into his room.

He spoke quietly, yet irritatedly. "If you were planning on having that 'meaningless sex' right now, I can assure you that you will be disappointed."

She replied in the same tone. "Look, dear, we're not in here to discuss your apparently 'disappointing' penis size. You and I both know that Light is Kira."

He looked a bit indignant. "Which is exactly why I can not allow you near his supposed accomplice."

Ella almost felt like crying out of frustration. "I stopped them from meeting, I helped!"

He sneered. "Yes, yes, you did one thing that somehow ended up working out for once. Bravo."

She grimaced. "Look. If she had seen you, she would have known your name immediately. I stopped that from happening! She would've killed you if she knew what I know."

"I don't see how she could know. I still don't believe you know it."

"Do you want to know how I know?"

"Can you prove to me that you know it first?"

"How do I know you won't just euthanize me immediately?"

"I'm a detective."

"Doesn't mean I trust you."

"You're talking to me about trust?"

There was a silence.

Ella blinked back frustrated tears rapidly.

L didn't blink at all.

She said his name.

And everything went black.

-/(/:(\~_

When Ella woke up, she was surrounded by cats.

 _What the...?_

"She's waking up."

"Wow, really? I didn't notice what with the eyes opening and slack jawed staring and such."

"Guys! Seriously, behave for once."

Ella sat up and stared blankly at the multicolored cats in front of her. "Oh god, there's more of you?"

The purple cat huffed. "Rude."

She groaned. "And you talk out loud?"

The orange cat turned to the blue one. "Why is the first thing that comes out of any of these Protagonists' mouths a complaint about us speaking?"

The blue cat shrugged. "Look, at least this one's not racist."

Ella cradled her head in her hands. "This is so unnatural!"

The yellow one gasped. "Oh my god, I think she's racist."

Purple sighed. "Another one?"

Blue shrugged again. "Spoke too soon."

Ella looked up. "Sorry, that was rude. I'm not racist, I promise. I am, however, very confused."

Green cat nudged open a book that was not in front of them about two seconds ago and straightened the glasses he was suddenly wearing with his paw.

Green cat spoke. "Ah, yes. You are Elizabeth?"

She blinked. "Uh, no."

The black cat, who had been quiet up until then, swished his tail and purred. "That was the last one, Clover."

Green cat (Clover?) nodded once, accidentally dislodging the glasses from his face. The other cats snickered.

Clover made an odd noise in his throat. "Right, my mistake. You are... Isabella?"

Ella scrunched up her nose and crossed her arms. _Oni never mentioned an Isabella._ "No. I'm not."

The black cat let out a snort.

 _Wow, that's weird._

A previously unnoticed red cat spoke. "Clov, no one could get into Izzie's head. Remember? This one is Marcela."

Ella just felt offended at this point. "It's Mariella."

She tilted her head to one side, then the other. "Death Note, Desu Noto."

Ella blinked slowly. _Animal abuse is bad, animals are better than humans, Kira never hurt an animal..._

 _'Cats have nine lives.'_

 _Oni, where the fuck are you when I need you?_

 _'Leave a message after the beep.'_

 _Butthead._

"Uh, Mariella?"

Ella blinked and looked down at the yellow cat, who had her paw up on Ella's leg. _Aw. This is fucking weird._ "Yes?"

The yellow cat backed away. "Aren't you, um, gonna ask why you're here?"

Ella nodded. "Good idea. Wish I'd thought of it. Why am I here?"

The black cat slinked over. "You fucked up."

Yellow cat gasped. "Ritsu!"

 _Do all of these things have names?_ "How exactly did I fuck up, Ritsu?"

He purred. "You made the mistake many other Protagonists have made in the past."

Ella sighed impatiently. "And that is?"

 _This is giving me real Cheshire Cat vibes. Why aren't the others talking?_

Ritsu started licking himself.

Ella turned to the other cats in annoyance only to find that they weren't there anymore. "The fuck?"

Ritsu looked at her in annoyance. "Your mistake... was telling him his name."

Ella's eyes narrowed. "Why is that a mistake?"

Ritsu rolled his eyes. "Because Whammy shot you, that's why."

Ella choked. "Excuse me?!"

Ritsu nodded, a weird little smirk on his cat face. "Yep. Happy Butler shot you right in the head."

Ella sputtered incoherently.

Ritsu continued. "I mean, I don't see how you're surprised. That man would do anything for Pandaface. What do you think happened to everyone else who knew his name?"

Ella found her voice. "What else was I supposed to do? Mister Hat shot me?"

"Yes and not that."

"But-but how?"

Ritsu inspected his paw casually. "Well, I imagine he used his opposable thumbs and-"

Ella cut him off. "I mean, how did he get in the room? We were alone."

"The walls are always watching."

Ella gave him a deadpan look.

Ritsu rolled his eyes again. "He was waiting outside the door."

"Didn't anyone hear the gunshot?"

"You three were the only ones on that floor. Plus, the walls are soundproof."

Ella pondered this for a moment before she felt herself crack. "Mister Hat _shot_ me?"

Ritsu nodded. "Yes, we've been over..."

Ella buried her face in her hands.

Ritsu looked at her oddly. "Uh, Protagonist?"

She sobbed.

Ritsu sat up in alarm. "Oh fuck no, don't cry. Don't do that. You're not even in your physical body right now, how are you producing tears? Fuck, what do I do? Stop crying or I'll scratch you!"

Ella cried harder.

Ritsu started pacing, his tail swishing agitatedly. "Oh, seriously? This is not entertaining anymore. Clover! Help! The Protagonist is crying!"

No one answered.

Ritsu hissed at the traitor cats and stalked over to Ella. He hit her with his tail. "Oi!"

Ella flinched and looked up slightly.

Ritsu glared into her eyes. "Stop. Crying."

Ella looked away. _I'm not taking orders from a fucking cat._

He hit her with his tail again. "I heard that."

 _Fuck._

Ella looked at him flatly and sniffled. "What do you w-want?"

"I thought that was fairly obvious."

 _Fuck off._ "Fuck off."

He looked at her unamusedly before continuing as if she hadn't said or thought anything. "Okay, listen up Pro. You need to pull yourself together."

Ella sneered. "Why? I'm dead. What else do I have to lose?"

Ritsu facepawed. "You idiot."

"What?!"

Ritsu sighed before pointing at her chest.

For a split second, Ella felt slightly violated until she remembered that Ritsu was a cat. She looked down at where he was pointing. She blinked at the apple necklace. "Oh. Right. Forgot about that."

"Obviously."

She looked back up at him in alarm. "But what am I supposed to do? Wake up after being shot in the head? What the fuck?"

Ritsu shrugged, much more relaxed now that she'd stopped crying. "That sounds like a you problem."

Ella felt her eyes fill with tears again.

Ritsu backpedaled. "Or! How about I help you! Yeah!"

Ella sniffled. "Really?"

Ritsu shook his head. "No, I can't do anything about this. You're on your own."

 _God fucking dammit._

Ella sighed and wiped her face before standing up. "Alright, fuck it. Send me back. I can't wait to be interrogated and tortured until fucking L Lawliet figures out how my immortality came about. Just fantastic."

Ritsu snorted. "That's the spirit."

"Was that a pun?"

"Bye, Pro."

-/;;)(:/-_\\\~~

Ella opened her eyes to angry voices.

"...I didn't want her dead, Whammy. I could've handed her. She hadn't gone to anyone with my name, not even Light-kun."

"I admit I acted rashly, and I apologize, but we must get rid of her... body. It's staining the carpet."

 _Wow._

Ella spoke. "Apology accepted, Mister Hat."

The men shrieked.

Ella snorted and wiped some blood out of her face before standing up to face them. She grinned at their expressions. "Did I fail to mention that a side affect of all this information in my head is that I can't die? Cause, uh, that's a thing."

L was the first one to speak. "I don't see how that would be a side affect."

Whammy passed out on the floor.

Ella smirked mirthlessly. "Serves him right. Get the old man on the bed."

L did as he was told, making sure to never turn his back on her. Once Whammy was on the bad, he turned toward her cautiously. "Hello, Kira."

She snorted. "Still not Kira. But I'm not gonna help you catch him anymore."

"Why not? Unless you sympathize with him, or are him, you would want me to win."

Ella dropped her smile. "Your butler shot me in the head."

L nodded once. "I suppose that's fair."

Ella nodded back and smiled again. "So..."

L tilted his head. "You can't honestly be thinking of _that_ when Watari's in the room."

Ella furrowed her brow. "Seeing Misa?"

L's eyes widened ever so slightly and he looked away. "Precisely."

Ella blinked once. "...Right. Well, anyway, I'm gonna go shower. If you follow me I will kill you. And after my shower, you are going to take me to see Misa-Misa. Take care of Wha- Watari."

He looked at her blankly, though he was still unnerved. "What makes you think I will listen to you."

 _Well, for one thing, I could kill you and you can't kill me._ "You want answers, don't you?"

L looked away. "Be ready in one hour."

Ella nodded and turned away.

She felt something tap her shoulder.

She turned around. "What-"

L kissed her.

Her eyes widened. _Oh hell no. Fuck this noise._

She pushed him away from her roughly. "What the fuck, L?"

He looked at her oddly. "That's odd."

Ella nodded violently. "Hell yeah it is! Why the fuck would you kiss me? I'm seventeen years old, one of your suspects, and I'm covered in blood!"

He hummed, looking at her cautiously. "You have a point. I apologize."

She growled before spinning on her heel and stalking to her room.

L stared after her in confusion and looked down at his slightly burned hands. "Huh."

Watari stirred from the bed. "L?"

He hummed noncommittally and went over to his caretaker's side.

The kiss had been a diversion. L had figured out that the necklace was most likely the source of Ella's apparent immortality. He knew the bullet didn't miss. He had seen her die.

Ella's necklace had burned his hands.


	19. In Which Not Much Happens Honestly

After Ella had her shower and Watari woke up from his nap, them and L went into the car to visit Misa. L coming was not a surprise, as he probably wanted to make sure Ella wouldn't try to hurt Watari. Even if he was driving, Ella was functionally immortal, so L didn't take the chance of leaving them alone.

It was an awkward drive.

Watari kept sneaking glances at her as if he was expecting her to disappear at any moment, which was understandable considering he had shot her directly in the head at point blank range and she should very much not be alive. He looked away every time she made eye contact with him through the rear view mirror.

Ella was surprised they hadn't crashed yet. She shrugged and decided to just let her author ignore the basic logic of 'if you don't look at the road you'll probably die' and focused on keeping herself calm.

L spent the car ride with his back against the door so that he could stare at her even more unnervingly than usual while he rubbed at his hands as if they'd been hurt. He stayed the exact same distance away from her the entire time.

She had expected a harsher reaction but even this was getting annoying.

She had been expecting for L to immediately start running tests on her involving needles and perhaps some medieval torture devices, but thus far he had not shown any signs of doing so.

She was still waiting.

Ella got out of the car as soon as it stopped, rubbing at the dull ache in her head caused by her brief death.

She expected said death to hurt more, actually, but she wasn't complaining if her author wanted to be nice to her for once.

She sighed quietly and stretched her legs.

 _God, could they be any more uncomfortable to be around? It's not like I killed someone. They killed someone. ME._

L stepped out beside her and she looked at him oddly.

 _Why's he out here? Is he gonna visit Misa too? Or have himself committed finally? Ah, that'll be the day._

She snorted and met his eyes.

He gestured for her to enter the building.

She took a step before looking back at him.

 _Misa's not gonna be receptive. Why did I think this was a good idea?_

L looked at her pointedly and gestured once again for her to move.

She shook her head and crossed her arms.

He exhaled through his nose and gestured more insistently.

She stepped to the side and tilted her head before gesturing for him to enter before her.

He rolled his eyes upwards and sighed again.

Ella broke the silence with a huff. "Just go in, Ryuzaki."

He stiffened minutely and fixed her with a look. "As I recall, you were the one who insisted on coming here. Therefore, you should go first."

She didn't move. _Wonder where Oni is._ "Yes. I did insist. And now I'm _insisting_ you go in first."

He placed his hands in his pockets and stared her down. "Ladies first."

Ella couldn't decide if he looked like a petulant child or a disapproving mob boss. Either way, she was unnerved. "Age before beauty."

He exhaled in irritation. "I don't understand. You seem perfectly capable of coming back from the dead and yet you seem to be afraid of a door."

She clenched her fists and rolled her eyes. "I am _not_ afraid of-"

"Coming back from the dead?"

Ella spun on her heel, saw who had said that, and then spun right back around.

L, Light, and Ryuk looked at her in confusion.

She fixed a smile on her face and ignored the latter two. "Well, since you seem to be so oddly afraid to go into this fine establishment and face the wrath of one Misa-Misa, I'll be the better person and go in first."

L stood very still. "I don't recall-"

Ella cut him off. "I mean, it's not like she's out to kill one or both of us, am I right? Your fear is quite unfounded and slightly endearing."

L placed his thumb against his lips. "Have you been visiting Nurse Tano for morphine without my permission?"

Ella paused before giggling nervously. "Uh, no."

He stared at her fixedly. "Mari."

She put her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "In fact, that accusation is extremely offensive. And since you're so afraid of an idol, and a cute blonde one at that, I think we should break up. I just can't deal with that embarrassment."

Light balked and Ryuk snorted, sitting cross legged in mid air with his chin in his weird claw hands.

L tilted his head to one side. "We are not-"

She cut him off again and shrugged exaggeratedly. "It's not me, it's you. I just can't deal with all the lies and accusations and the handcuffs anymore."

L exhaled through his nose again. "The handcuffs have been gone for a while."

Ella nodded. "Yes, but I read a book about another rich guy with a real messed up head and I just don't want to end up like Anastasia at the end of book one, you know?"

He shook his head once. "No, I do not. I do not read for pleasure."

She snapped her fingers at him. "See? You don't do anything for pleasure. The handcuffs were purely sadistic."

Light made an irritated and disgusted noise in his throat.

Ryuk shrugged at him.

L rolled his abnormally large eyes. "Perhaps, and this is just a suggestion, you should start saying things that make sense in the context provided."

Ella grinned. _Where's the fun in that?_ "Where's the fun in that?"

He gave her an unamused look.

She looked up toward the sky innocently. "I had sex with Naomi when you were tapping my apartment and now we're gonna run away together and live happily even after in Canada with no responsibilities and no need for contraceptives."

Light choked on air from where he was just standing there watching the conversation.

Ryuk snorted and cackled. "Light! She's so weird! And-and quirky in a way that no one would actually, realistically find endearing! How do two females even do that?"

L sighed.

Ella smiled innocently. "Oh, and Matsui's cleaning up the blood stains."

Light looked queasy.

Ryuk stopped laughing and made a face. "Oh. So _that's_ how they do it. Humans are gross."

L rolled his eyes upwards and tapped his foot.

Ella skipped toward the door and winked. "And yes, I did leave the stove on. Bye now."

She was about to step in when she was stopped by an exasperated Light.

"Nita."

 _Oh right. He doesn't know my name._

 _Fuck it._

She turned back to them even though she was aware that she could've and should've kept walking.

"My name is Mariella Johnson. You can call me whatever you like."

 _Stupid author. Stupid stupid stupid author._

Ryuk looked kind of confused.

Light made himself neutral.

L just watched.

She pasted a smile on her face. _Awkward._ "Well hello there, Light! Fancy seeing you here, Light! What are you doing here so late at night outside this lovely mental asylum, Light?"

Light kept his face neutral. "It's Valentines Day. Misa wanted me to visit."

 _What._

She scrunched up her face. "You don't even know Misa, what are you talking about?"

Light looked like he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes. "I started visiting her when I heard what happened. She took a liking to me."

Ella deadpanned. _Fucking great. They met anyway. AND NOW THEY'RE CANOODLING._ "Of course she did."

L cut in. "To be fair, Light-kun is very handsome."

Ella rolled her eyes.

Ryuk made a face. "Is this what humans are doing now? Behaving indecently with members of the same gender?"

Ella blinked slowly. _Please don't tell me the Shinigami is homophobic._

 _'Wait for it.'_

 _Oni? Where've you been? Where are you?_

 _'Too many questions.'_

 _Wait for what?_

Ryuk nodded approvingly. "I should bring that idea back to the Shinigami realm."

Light choked.

L raised an almost nonexistent eyebrow at him.

Ella's face froze as she tried very hard not to picture anything involving Ryuk or penises or any combination of the two.

 _Oh._

She failed.

 _'Ew. Okay. Yeah. Talk later. Ritsu's being a real dog.'_

 _'I heard that you shit. We all know you're leaving because of those images.'_

Ella almost screeched but the fact that L would probably have her committed immediately into the very mental hospital they were standing in front of stopped her.

At least, it stopped her verbally.

 _NOPE NOPE ONE EXTRA VOICE IN MY HEAD IS ENOUGH RITSU IS NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK IN MY HEAD._

 _'Wow. And to think I was actually going to become your familiar.'_

 _'Ritsu, that was a secret.'_

 _WHAT?_

L waved a hand in her face. "Mari. You seem to be staring wide eyed and fixedly at a point over my shoulder. Are you mocking me?"

She blinked. "Uh, no. I was talking to my imaginary cat friends in my head."

He nodded.

Light muttered something incoherent.

Ryuk snorted. "Why are you asking me? I wouldn't find her attractive. She's too human and alive. Gross."

Ella gagged. "Anyway! We've been standing outside for way too long, can't we just go in already?"

"That might be a good idea, yes."

Light rolled his eyes. "I actually have an appointment, so you two wait your turns."

Ella looked at him directly. "Wait, than why'd you waste time exchanging meaningless dialogue with us?"

Light avoided her eyes. "No reason."

Ryuk cackled. "He liiiiiikes you."

Light's face morphed into a very Stepford-esque smile. "I should be going before I make myself late. If you'll excuse me."

Ella nodded and looked away.

 _Alas, poor Ryuk. Mortal immunity does not give you the right to be a dick._

L sidled up next to her as soon as Light walked through the doors. "You know, realistically, visiting hours should be over by now."

Ella nodded.

"Also, it seems Kira and the Second Kira have met anyway even with your unexpected and thus far unexplained interference. Though since presumably you destroyed whatever made her able to kill all those people using only a face already, I don't quite see what he'd want with her now."

Ella nodded again.

"And if I were currently in character, I'd have most likely followed Light in to find out just that."

Ella nodded before catching herself and looking at him quickly. "Wait, what did you just say?"

He looked at her innocently, which just made her more unnerved. "I said, perhaps he is trying to use her to make you jealous. Like you did with me."

She was torn for a moment on what to question. _Ah, screw it._ "I did not use you to make him jealous!"

L shrugged and started watching. "Hm. Perhaps it was the other way around."

Ella choked and followed after him. "Excuse me? I didn't use him to make you jealous either!"

He glanced at her but continued walking. "Watch a drama, Mariella. Maybe I used you."

She unwillingly let out an incredulous scoff.

He looked forward again. "Or maybe he used you. What do I know, though?"

Ella caught up to him, still, for lack of better word, shook. "Evidently, you know absolutely nothing."

His lip quirked slightly as they walked through the building, L flashing a card that was very clearly blank at the inattentive front desk man. He let them continue. "If you say so, candy apple."

She made a face even as her body relaxed slightly. _Apparently the only competent employees in this universe are Chief Yagami, Watari, and Nurse Tano._ "Oh, really? I thought we agreed that you're not allowed to call me that."

L shrugged again. "I don't recall ever having that discussion."

Ella shrugged back. "It was heavily implied that that is a no-no."

 _This is nice. He seems to have finally gotten over the whole me dying and then coming back to life thing._

 _'What do you mean 'finally'? That happened at most three hours ago.'_

 _It feels like longer. Almost feels like four months, actually._

 _'Stop shaming your author.'_

 _I do what I want._

They stopped walking.

 _Anyway, what was this about Ritsu being my new familiar? Are you breaking up with me?_

 _'Whoops, talk later. The connection's faulty.'_

 _What, in my head?_

 _'I have a really bad catnip hangover okay, I can't deal with anything right now.'_

 _Who gave you catnip?_

 _'Ritsu's got a stash. Anyways, I'm gonna take a little catnap. Tell me what happens with Misa.'_

 _Will do. Get better._

 _'Meow.'_

Ella made a face. _Huh_. "I have a druggie cat."

L hummed from where he'd been holding the door open for her for about the last ten seconds. "Of course you do, Mari. Please enter the room. My arm is getting tired."

She snorted and dragged him in with her so she'd be sure he didn't lock her in a closet or something.

 _'That makes it sound like you'd be willing to enter a closet with him.'_

 _Shouldn't you be sleeping?_

 _'Just saying.'_

She ignored him. "Alright, lollipop, let's get this show on the street."

L nodded. "Ah, how I ignore all of your idiosyncrasies."

She smiled. "I believe you mean 'adore'."

He smiled. "I know what I said."

Ella hid a laugh with a cough and leaned against the wall of this odd mental hospital with very lax security.

L leaned next to her. "Why are we leaning when we're free to enter?"

Ella rolled her eyes upward. "Because I was unaware of that bit of information, Ryuzaki."

He looked at her pointedly. "That's new."

She crossed her arms and glared at him indignantly. "Someone's a smartass today. Who dribbled on your cake sticks?"

He turned back to face the opposite wall. "No one... dribbled on my... cake sticks. I've just learned from the best."

Ella placed a hand on her chest. "Awww, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

He hummed and started walking again. "I wouldn't get used to it."

She sighed and followed. "This is a really long room."

 _'I think your author ran out of plot.'_

 _Figures. Dumbass._

 _'Shhh, she knows.'_

 _Wait, when did you start talking about my author as if she wasn't just a concept I made up so I could blame shit on her? When did it become a her?_

 _'Zzzzzzxz.'_

 _SAYING Z REPETITIVELY IS NOT GOING TO CONVINCE ME YOU'RE ASLEEP._

 _'ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.'_

 _Ugh._

L rolled his eyes from where he'd been holding the door for her for about twelve seconds and just decided to shove her in.

She stumbled and glared at him before turning pointedly away.

L slumped next to her as she made awkward eye contact with the no-longer-kissing Kiras.

Misa narrowed her eyes at her but didn't make a noise, only tightened her hold on Light.

Light looked a bit like he wanted to explain himself and a bit like he was irritated at himself for feeling the need to explain himself.

Ryuk started laughing on the floor.

Ella was torn between laughing, screaming, and vomiting.

She settled on a very dignified gagging noise.

L inched away.

The last coherent thought in her head before she joined Ryuk's cackling on the floor was a grudging one.

 _Maybe L had a point with the drama thing._


	20. In which Ella makes more bad decisions

A few minutes later, everyone was sat at a table and staring at each other.

Ella cleared her throat. "So... you two are... canoodling."

Light nodded curtly while Misa clutched possessively at his arm. "Yes."

Ella nodded. "Right, right. So, how long has that been going on?"

Misa glowered. "Why do you care?"

Ella blinked and lifted her hands up in surrender. "Just trying to make convers-"

"I don't like you."

Ella blinked again. "Uh..."

Misa pursed her lips and looked at her appraisingly. "But I don't know why."

L tilted his head from where he had been sat stacking sugar cubes he procured somehow between Ella and Light. "Oh? And why do you think that is?"

Misa turned her shrewd gaze to him. "I don't remember much about myself. I only remember up until I turned sixteen. Everything else I know is what they've told me."

L nodded contemplatively and turned his attention back to his sugar cubes.

Misa sneered and turned her attention back to Ella. "So?"

Ella blinked again, because she really didn't know how else to react to this new, cold Misa. "So, what?"

Misa rolled her eyes. "So, why are you here? I don't know you. Even if I did, I don't like you. You and you're weird panda friend should just leave."

Ella shifted in her seat minusculely.

Misa's eyes narrowed further.

Ella sighed. "I don't know why I'm here."

"So we're on the same page."

Ella stood up and brushed herself off unnecessarily, ignoring the irrational urge to flinch at her wording. "I'm sorry about your memory."

Misa snorted derisively. "Yeah, me too."

Ella nodded at her once and turned toward L. "Ryuzaki, I'll wait in the car."

He tilted his head. "Are you sure that's wise?"

Ella nodded again. "He won't be in danger."

"He is not who I was referring to, though I appreciate the assurance."

Misa was watching intently, like an animal. Light just appeared quietly angry.

Ella took care to keep herself from stiffening and nodded once more before retreating. "You'll be fine. I'll see you in the car. Goodbye, Misa. Light."

She felt Misa's eyes track her until she was outside the room.

She still felt like she was being watched until she got to the car.

She slammed the door behind herself and fixed a smile on her face when Watari's eyes immediately jumped to her in the rear view mirror.

"I feel like we should talk, Mr. Hat."

He nodded carefully. "I believe we should."

She threw herself into the passenger seat and hoped that he wouldn't shoot her again.

He didn't.

She straightened up and turned toward him, ignoring how tightly his hands held the steering wheel. "Okay. First thing's first. You killed me. And though I understand why you acted so rashly and I got better anyway, I would still like an apology. Preferably in the form of not holding me in a cage for experimentation like L probably wants."

Whammy nodded once and looked like he was fighting the urge to throw her out of the car. "I apologize for... _killing_ you. I really am quite fond of you."

She huffed out a sardonic laugh. "Is that the fear talking? Because I'm pretty sure you don't murder people you're fond of. I'm not going to hurt you anyway. Even though I am effectively immortal, my physical strength is still that of a teenage girl, so I'm pretty sure I couldn't hurt you if I wanted to. Also, I thought you were tougher than this, come on, I'm like seventeen."

He purses his lips and nodded, letting go of the steering wheel and turning to face her fully. "Mariella, you must know how hard it was for me to pull the trigger. I _am_ very fond of you, however any threat to the safety of L is one I will eliminate without hesitation."

Ella nodded. "Yeah, but you should've known already that I'm not exactly a threat."

"How would I know that? I had hoped you wouldn't be, but you are very good at manipulating those around you. Even L has grown fond of you."

She scoffed. "I find that hard to believe."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"L doesn't grow fond of people, he uses them as pawns. I just happened to be playing checkers instead of chess. He finds me amusing."

He looked at her with an odd twinkle in his eye and Ella was vividly reminded of Dumbledore. "We can argue about that later, along with the fact that that metaphor didn't really make sense, but for now let's get back to the matter at hand. You made yourself a threat when you sent a message through Chief Yagami."

Ella twitched in her seat at her past stupidity and conceded the point. "Okay, yeah, that was stupid. But in my defense, Light was trying to get me to date him and honestly I was slightly desperate to get out of that."

"Be that as it may, you have also intentionally been inserting yourself into every suspicious situation you encountered."

"Yeah, _intentionally_! As in, who would be stupid enough to want to be caught?"

Watari raised his eyebrows. "You were... framing yourself?"

Ella sniffed and examined her nails. "I wanted to bring attention to my companion."

"That was a terrible way of going about that."

"I think I liked it better when you were scared of me."

He chuckled. "Dear, you must be aware of what terrible decisions you made. You've been trying to manipulate the two most intelligent men in Japan to fight each other without harming you, and you've somehow managed to wedge yourself in the middle of their altercation."

She clicked her tongue. "I've been _successfully_ manipulating the two most intelligent men in Japan into keeping their altercation between them- and by that I mean there are _far_ less casualties than there would've been- and I've made them _want_ me."

He gave her a look.

She rolled her eyes. "The urge to possess is not the same as affection. If I could choose which one of them survives this, I'd probably choose neither for that reason alone."

"This is not helping your 'not a threat' case."

"I know. Let me finish anyway. I'm sure this car's bugged, so you could very well show this to L when we're done, but I just need to vent now."

"Continue."

"Thank you. When I first... _came_ to this... _country_ , I was very aware that Light Yagami is Kira. I won't tell you how, but I was. He found me a month later and walked me to class, a class I didn't know he had, and we started talking. He knew me as Manzanita, because that's what it said on the administrative role sheet and I wasn't aware of the immortality bit yet."

"How did you not-"

"Please save your questions for the end. Or write them down, but be aware that I won't be able to answer probably a whole lot."

He nodded.

Ella sighed. "So, yeah. Manzanita, Nita for short. A week or so after we started talking, he took me to his home. That was the day I took your hat. That was also the day he decided it'd be a great idea to introduce me to his family as his girlfriend, even though we hadn't even talked about that then and we hardly tolerated each other. Also, that was the day I gave Mister Yagami a message for L."

"Nita-"

"Don't call me that."

"What should I call you?"

She paused. "Ella."

Watari nodded slowly. "Is Ella your real name?"

"Yes."

"And you're allowing me to use it? Even though I killed you?"

She smiled a small smile. "Whammy, it's _because_ you killed me. I've finally realized how absolutely stuck I am. I can't even _die_. Might as well start going by my real name."

Watari handed her a handkerchief.

Ella hadn't realized she was crying, but she took it anyway, wiping her eyes before clearing her throat with a nod of thanks. "Right. Anyway. Light wanted me, so he didn't give me a choice. It was either pretend to be the perfect golden boy of Japan's trophy girlfriend, or refuse and be unable to keep tabs on said golden boy to make sure he didn't harm anyone I wanted alive. After a month, it was too late to back out and still appear amicable, so I stayed with him and let him think he had me."

"You developed feelings for him, didn't you?"

"Pathetically, yes. I did. Knowing full well he was a manipulative, psychopathic _serial killer_ , I became... infatuated. He'd leave bruises on me from his fingers but I didn't care because I marked him back. It was a very odd, angry relationship, and by the end of it I had grown attached to his family. I told him I loved him."

Watari laid a hand on her knee for a moment before pulling away.

She smiled at him. "Don't pity me. I didn't say I meant it. He thought I did, though, so maybe I did and just didn't realize. It's hard to trick a genius. He was probably onto me from the beginning."

Ella rolled her eyes and smirked at Watari. "Bastard still tried to get Takada to join him using his stupid goddamn _charm_ while I was on the phone, but what was I gonna do, y'know? It's not like I didn't expect it. He thought I was cheating on him with L."

Watari sputtered. "Pardon?"

Ella nodded. "Yep. Apparently giving someone a tampon is the ultimate means of seduction in his twisted brain."

Watari nodded again.

Ella yawned. "Anyway, long story less long, L didn't make it any better when he mentioned that I'd been living with him since the day I broke it off with Light, and now Light is simmering in a giant pot of resentment and anger and I honestly do not want to know what he will do next. Amane Misa is now far more dangerous than she would've been had I not intervened, but Naomi is alive so I will hope I haven't rendered this situation entirely irreparable."

The car was silent after that, both of them just waiting for L to get back.

As soon as he was in sight, Watari left the car to open the door for L, who was making his was to he car with Light in tow.

Ella threw herself back into the backseat without another word and shook off the melancholy feelings as best as she could.

L slid in beside her and looked at Light expectantly.

Light joined him.

 _...Okay._

Ella grinned brightly and sat up straight. "Light!"

"Save it."

She flinched and nodded.

Light and L looked at her curiously before turning back to their conversation.

"No, Ryuzaki, I don't know how her memory was so thoroughly erased and I'd appreciate it if you stopped accusing me of taking advantage of her."

"Is that not what you're doing, Light-kun? Preparing her in her vulnerable state to become a Kira supporter? Is this what they call 'child grooming'?"

Light looked shocked. "I am not a pedophile!"

"That sounds like something a pedophile would say."

"She's older than me!"

"Physically, yes. Mentally? I believe she's sixteen."

"Listen, I visited her out of compassion and she took a liking to me. If it were up to me, we wouldn't be romantically involved at all."

"Ah, victim blaming as well? I can't say I'm surprised, what with your blaming the people you murder for their deaths."

"I AM NOT KIRA!"

"That's exactly what someone who was Kira would want me to think."

Ella raised her hand. "Uh, can I interrupt?"

They looked at her expectantly.

She cleared her throat. "I don't think this one was Light's fault."

" _'This one'_?!"

L looked at Ella patronizingly, ignoring Light's outburst. "Mari, I don't think this is the time to be letting your feelings blur your deductive reasoning."

She felt herself flush and glowered. "Oh, like you're one to talk, you goddamn hypocrite. You don't even think I'm guilty yet you keep me by your side for some sadistic reason."

"Not everything is about you, Mari, and I'd prefer it if you stopped thinking it was. I've never met someone more conceited."

She reared back as if she'd been slapped before speaking quietly and coldly. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? Are you really, truly ready to put your life on the line for a case you might not even be alive to see solved anyway?"

L had a spark of something in his normally blank eyes. "Are you threatening me, candy apple?"

Ella blinked before fixing a blank look on her face. "I just want you to know that I hate you very very much right now."

"Yet I'm still alive."

"Be grateful."

Light let out a laugh and their eyes snapped to him.

L spoke. "What's so funny, Light-kun?"

Light let a smirk play on his lips. "Oh, nothing. Only, you're both supposed to be on the same side and yet you've spent the entire car ride arguing with each other. I bet you didn't even notice the car start moving."

Ella blinked and resisted the urge to look out the window. "I am on no one's side, Light."

He looked at her in amusement. "Aren't you?"

She kept her face blank. "If I was on either of your sides, the other would be dead, and my side would be winning. From now on, I'm just watching."

Light blinked innocently and tilted his head to one side. "I never said the other side was mine. We're all on the same side here."

L let out a tiny displeased noise.

Ella raised an eyebrow. "Of course. My mistake. The word 'side' has begun to lose all meaning in my mind."

He rolled his eyes before letting them run down her body with a small smirk and she made a decision.

Ella crawled over L and placed herself neatly on Light's lap.

He looked at her unreadably.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Do you remember when you said you loved me?"

He nodded curtly and tightened his hold on her hips.

She shifted and leaned closer. "Did you mean it? Be honest."

He narrowed his eyes and then shook his head.

She let a smile grace her lips and shifted even closer. "Would you say no if I wanted to have sex with you?"

He smirked and let his eyes wander before meeting hers again and pulling her closer. "Why? Did someone catch feelings for me?"

She smiled. "No. Stress relief."

Light hummed. "I probably wouldn't say no."

L cleared his throat.

Ella turned to him. "Darling, I'm afraid I'll be staying the night at a friend's house."

L sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I suppose I can't stop you if you don't have a conscience. I do hope Light-kun will be able to look Misa in the eye the next time he sees her."

Ella looked at Light expectantly.

Light shrugged indifferently.

 _God, I'm gonna hate myself even more in the morning. A shame I don't care anymore._

She grinned and winked at L before turning to Watari in the front seat, ignoring his almost palpable disapproval. "Drop us off at my apartment?"

He nodded curtly.

Ella felt Light's hands start to wander before the car stopped and they got out. She nodded at L, who rolled his eyes, and then she shot an apologetic look at Watari. He just looked at her pityingly.

She let out a tiny sigh and walked with Light to her apartment, turning the key she carried in her shoe in the lock.

"You carry your key in your shoe? Is that not uncomfortable?"

She closed the door behind them, pushed him against it with her mouth to his, and pulled away with a grin. "Less talking, more kissing."

"I suppose I can live with that."

The car pulled away and Ella dragged him inside, not feeling an ounce of guilt for what she was about to do.


	21. The beginning of the end my friends

Ella woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, her hands tied up behind her back, her feet tied together, and the grudging and unsurprised knowledge that she should've expected this.

Light sat primly in front of her on a ratty couch with a cup of coffee in his hands and Misa and Takada on the floor on either side of him, even though there was clearly enough space for both of them on the couch.

 _Whatever._

Ella felt a spike of fear before she schooled herself and focused very hard on the ridiculousness of this situation. She ignored Light's really _really_ creepy smirk and smiled at him. "Where are we?"

They were silent.

 _Okay._ "It's just, you'd think Kira would have better taste in decor is all I'm saying. The wall paper's peeling. I think I saw a rat."

Nothing.

She kept smiling. "Um. Thanks for putting my clothes back on."

He inclined his head and sipped his coffee.

Misa filed her nails and Takada looked at her stoically.

Ella continued, because _finally a reaction._ "I mean, really, thank you. Otherwise this would be really embarrassing."

Misa tilted her head and Takada smirked.

Ella glanced at them briefly. "For your friends, I mean."

Takada rolled her eyes and looked up at Light, who nodded minutely, before looking back at Ella and speaking. "Since you're a little tied up at the moment, Kira took the liberty of calling your employer to let him know that you couldn't be in today."

 _This is the most disgusting shit. Sitting at a teenage boy's feet like a dog. Asking permission to speak. Takada, what happened to you?_

Ella looked at her briefly in disappointment because even if she was an asshole and probably a little bit hypocritical and really had no right to judge her based on her own previous actions, she'd expected better from Takada. For some reason. "That's considerate. Also, a terrible pun. What's my excuse?"

Misa snorted and looked up through her bangs. "Apparently, you couldn't keep up after the third round. You won't be able to walk for a few days."

 _That is the second most disgusting shit. At least she didn't ask permission._ Ella let out a surprised laugh, ignoring the sharp looks from the two thirds of the trio in front of her. "Seriously? I highly doubt L believed that. He's probably sending someone to find me already."

Light looked at her pityingly. "Why on earth would he want to do that? You're nothing more than a nuisance to him. He's probably glad to be rid of you."

Ella rolled her eyes and snorted, shifting herself into a more comfortable position. "Full offense intended, you sound like every unthreatening villain in every superhero movie or television show I have ever seen. You can't get inside my head, cupcake. And I've already gotten into yours."

He raised a smug eyebrow. "And yet, you don't deny it."

She looked up at him through her eyelashes and bit her lip. "Neither do you."

His jaw clenched minutely.

She didn't bother to filter her smirk. "Yeah, I am a nuisance. A nuisance who could decide to destroy him at any point and who he thinks is harboring feelings for Kira. He probably thinks you could persuade me to your side using said ' _feelings'_ for you and is doing everything in his power to make sure I don't tell you his real name. Which I might've done if you hadn't kidnapped me, but now? Don't think so."

Light was justifiably infuriated. "I could kill you."

She shook her head patronizingly. "Oh honey, you know that's not true."

He looked at her darkly. "I could hurt you."

Ella didn't have anything to say to that so she ignored it. "My guess is you have eight hours at most before he finds us, you get arrested or killed, and this whole Kira business is over."

Takada looked a bit panicked, Misa started filing her nails again, and Light set his mug down before stalking over to Ella and roughly pulling her to her feet by her hair.

Ella made a noise at the pain, blinking back the tears in her eyes, before throwing her full weight against him, knocking them both to the ground.

Ella smirked down at him, ignoring Takada's startled cry and attempts to get her off of Light. She spied a mark she'd left on his throat the night before and looking into his eyes. "How'd you know hair-pulling would get me to throw myself at you?"

He sneered and shoved her off. "You're a little bit pathetic, aren't you?"

Her smirk dropped as her elbow hit the ground and she struggled to maneuver herself into a position that wasn't so defenseless. "That's a bit rich coming from someone who hides behind a stack of magic paper."

He smiled nastily. "You hide behind your necklace, I hide behind my notebook. You really have no room to judge, Apple."

"Okay, fair enough. However, there's a difference between you and me-"

He kicked her in the stomach. "The difference is that I am a god. You are a girl who happens to have a magic trinket. You are _nothing_ compared to me, and it's time you realized that."

She grunted and curled up. _I don't even know if this is out of character anymore._ She forced herself to grin up at him. "And here I thought last night meant something. You know, I really can't see what about you is so godlike. Maybe if you actually were a god you would've been able to keep me."

Misa looked up from her nails to roll her eyes. "Honestly, Yagami, not that I'm judging you on how you treat your captives or anything, but you should've brought duct tape."

He made an affirmative noise and kicked Ella in the head.

The next time she woke up, Ryuk was hovering over her, Misa was the only other human in the room, and there was still no duct tape. Ella squinted at her and tried to ignore the pounding in her head and the red above Misa that she still couldn't understand and was really just a fucking useless skill to have.

But that's not really what she should be focusing on right now.

She cleared her throat and sat up, wincing against the pain in her side.

Misa looked at her in disinterest for a moment, sucking on a lollipop before pulling it out of her mouth with a pop. "Afternoon."

Ella blinked rapidly and nodded at her, wincing again when that made her headache worse. _Fuck, how long has it been?_ "Afternoon. Why isn't Ryuk commentating?"

Misa raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

Ryuk put his claw to his grinning mouth just to be dramatic probably. If Misa couldn't see him she wouldn't be able to hear him either.

 _How extra._

Ella bit back her surprise and nodded once. _Why is she here if she can't see him? What?_ "Never mind. Don't know where that came from. Got any ibuprofen by any chance?"

Misa snorted and leaned toward her from the couch with a smirk. She was sitting on it now instead of the floor. _Good for her._ "Do I need to explain to you what a hostage is?"

"Uh, no, I think I'm—"

"It's you. You're the hostage."

Ella stared at her in as deadpan a way as anyone could in the situation she was in and ignored how weird it was to have Ryuk just staring at her without talking or cackling or moving. "Oh, wow. This is brand new information. And?"

Misa smirked at her for a few more seconds before leaning back in her chair and sucking the lollipop into her mouth again. "Hostages don't get painkillers. Sorry."

Ella got a strong feeling that she wasn't actually sorry about that.

She sighed and twisted so that her hands were in front of her. It hurt more than she thought it would and she's pretty sure her ribs cracked or at least bruised some more.

She almost got a cramp in her leg but she started working on the knot at her feet anyway. "Where are Voldemort and Lost Potential, anyway? Not that I'm complaining, cause you seem like better company, but it's kind of unnerving."

Misa hummed and watched her try to untie herself, maneuvering the lollipop against the inside of her right cheek so she could talk more easily. "Yagami is currently somewhere being dramatic with his followers or boring with his father. Takada is either in class or buying duct tape. Did you just equate yourself to Harry Potter?"

"So what if I did? Takada would be Bellatrix if I wasn't so disappointed in her decisions."

Misa took out the lollipop and twirled it between her fingers as she clicked her tongue, still watching her. "I've known you for less than twenty four hours and even I can tell that's hypocritical. Who would I be in your little fantasy world?"

Ella bit back a noise as blood started trickling down her hand from the rope burn and ignored the first part. "Don't know yet. Pansy Parkinson? Dark Luna Lovegood?"

Misa made an acknowledging noise and readjusted her position. "What are you doing?"

Ella glanced at her briefly. "Untying myself."

Misa gave a short laugh and walked over to her before crouching to watch her. "And you think doing that in front of me is a good idea…why?"

Ella shrugged, biting back the pain from the rope biting into her ankles and wrists and continuing. "Well, it's not like I have anything else to do."

Misa hummed. "You could tell us L's name already, that's an idea."

Ella raised an eyebrow. "You could tell me why you're so willing to let Light do whoever he wants, that's an idea."

Misa gave her a sneer, the most emotion she'd shown thus far, and stood up. "I'll be sure to have a puzzle for you when you wake up."

Ella glared up at her, still trying to untie herself. She didn't even try to dodge the kick to her head.

Ella woke up to swearing and gunshots and an oddly dressed redhead kid shaking her. She swatted at him and winced at the pain in her wrists. "Kid, the shaking is _not_ helping with my probable concussion."

The kid snorted and pulled her to her feet, having untied her while she was out cold. He supported her when she wobbled. "You can complain about your concussion later when we're not being shot at. Come on."

Ella ignored her blurry vision and the way most of her body either ached or stung and tried to keep up with the kid. She tripped on a box and looked down at it. _Wait, what._ "Is that a puzzle?"

The kid looked down and nodded. "Looks like it. Come on, we need to— _what_ are you doing?"

Ella bent down and picked it up. "Taking it."

The kid looked at her incredulously. "What the fuck."

She shrugged and tucked it under her arm. "Language. And, not that I'm not grateful and everything, but why are you here? You're like twelve."

He shifted her so more of her weight leaned on him when she stumbled and ignored the question.

Ella almost dropped her puzzle when he shot Takada's hand with a gun she hadn't noticed him holding when she tried to shoot them. "Holy _shit_."

Takada screamed and dropped the gun and Ella shrieked when it went off and grazed her foot.

 _Holy fucking shit, that burns._

The kid swore and kicked the gun away, ignoring it when it shot a hole in the wall. He kept moving, basically just dragging Ella at this point. "First of all, I'm fourteen. And I'm kind of kicking ass right now, so are you really complaining, sugar?"

Before Ella could retort with some kind of snappy insult fueled by the extreme pain in her foot and head and the fact that she was just called ' _sugar_ ' by a literal child with a gun, she was interrupted.

"MATT! GET OVER HERE, WE'RE LEAVING!"

Ella groaned and blamed the concussion for being so slow on the uptake. _Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to send the Whammy kids to rescue her? Fucking L, probably. Does this count as child labor?_

During her inner monologue, Matt seemed to think she was taking too long, so he scooped her up bridal style and ran toward the exit. He set the gun in her hands, ignored her protests, and ordered her to shoot at anyone behind them that looked like a bad guy.

She looked at him incredulously. "Concussion!"

He rolled his eyes behind his frankly ridiculous goggles. "Get over it. If i die because of you, I'm haunting the fuck out of your ass."

 _Well. Someone's been spending too much time with Mello._ "If you could refrain from making comments about my ass so I don't feel like a dirty pedo it would be much appreciated."

"It's technically ephebophilia and only if you're the one attracted to me."

She stared at him, focusing on the ridiculous conversation instead of the pain his movements were causing. "Why do you know this?"

"I know a lot of things."

 _Huh_.

They made it outside, met up with Mello, and got into a waiting car without Ella having to shoot anyone, for which she was very grateful.

Ella was sat with Matt in the back seat, Mello in the passenger seat, when she noticed who was driving. " _Naomi?_ "

Naomi was too busy trying to speed the fuck away to respond with more than a grunt.

Ella's headache just got so much worse. "What the _fu_ —"

And then the building exploded.

Ella would deny taking cover by burying her face into a fourteen-year-old's shoulder for the rest of her life if she actually lived past this fucked up day.

 _Wait, necklace._

She gripped it in her hand and sighed in relief.

Matt slowly pushed her off of him and took out what she assumed was a communication device and started tapping on it.

She took a deep breath and ignored the ache in her side and in her everything else. "You talking to L?"

"No."

"Oh. What are you doing, than?"

"Playing Super Mario Brothers."

It was a gameboy.

Ella left him alone after that.

She didn't leave Naomi alone, though. "Is Light dead, than?"

Naomi shook her head. "Last I heard, he and L we're having their usual testosterone battle. No one knows where the women helping him are."

Matt hummed. "The brunette was in the building when it exploded. She's most likely toast."

Ella made a face and Mello snorted. "Matt, for fucks sake."

Matt shrugged and resumed playing.

Ella looked down at her box. "Misa left me a puzzle. We didn't see her in the building during the escape."

Naomi almost crashed the car. "She _what?!_ "

Mello turned to look at Ella incredulously. "You brought a box that one of Kira's accomplices gave you into the car? Are you insane? Are you _mentally handicapped?_ "

Ella glanced from Naomi to Mello to her box. "Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid."

Mello reached for the box but Ella held it closer to her chest. He ran a hand through his hair in irritation. "That could be a _literal bomb_ , moron! _Why are you hugging it?!_ "

Matt hummed. "Could also be a tracker."

Mello tried to grab the box again but Naomi pulled him back into his seat. "Put your seatbelt back on."

"Don't tell me what to do! My big toe is smarter than you!"

Naomi glared at him. "I will turn this car around."

"Well that'd be fucking stupid, considering ' _around_ ' is back to an exploded building."

He put it on anyway.

Naomi grimaced and turned back to the road they were now on. "Open it, Ella."

Ella nodded and lifted the box.

She dropped the lid. "Holy shit."

Mello snapped his head around. "What? What is it?"

She lifted the notebook from the box. "The murder weapon."

He looked at her oddly. "That's a notebook. Are you concussed?"

Matt nodded. "Yep, she is."

Naomi groaned.

Ella ignored this, feeling Ryuk materialize in between her and Matt. She held out the notebook toward Mello. "Touch it."

He looked at her weirdly. "Why the fuck would she give you the murder weapon anyway?"

"I'll ask her when the plot brings her back to me."

"What?"

"Touch."

"My finger prints will get on it. That's tampering with evidence."

"Just do it."

"Matt first."

Matt glanced up with a raised eyebrow.

Mello gestured to the notebook.

Ella nudged it in his direction.

Naomi rolled her eyes.

Ryuk positioned himself so half of his body was sticking out of the roof of the car and he was hanging upside down with his face directly in front of Matt's.

Ella tried very hard not to laugh at the incredibly unfortunate Spider-Man parallel.

Matt sighed, rolled his eyes, poked the notebook, and then screamed, clutching his gameboy to his chest and trying to scramble backwards in his seat. "HOLY SHIT _WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!_ "

Ryuk fell through the roof, he was laughing so hard. "Kid, your face! Oh, I should do that more often."

Matt looked from Ella to the notebook to Ryuk in panic.

Ella accidentally let out a snort and then cleared her throat. "Er, Matt, this is Ryuk. He's a shinigami. Ryuk, this is Matt. He's… crying?"

Matt glared at her before looking back at Ryuk. "Am not. Why the fuck do you know a shinigami?"

Mello interjected, having grabbed the notebook while Matt was screaming. "Holy _shit_ , you're ugly."

Ryuk looked at him. "Hey, you try living in the land of the dead for s couple centuries, see how you look after. At least I don't look like a girl."

Mello flipped him off and handed the notebook to Naomi. Naomi glanced into the rear view mirror and swerved. "Christ!"

"Nope, wrong dimension."

Naomi nodded and drove into the woods. "No offense, Mr. Shinigami, but you look like what would happen if the Joker had an ungodly affair with a giant crow."

Ryuk huffed. "I thought you said she was nice, Weirdo. At least you didn't lie about her being attractive, if you're into the weird, fleshy, alive thing."

Naomi looked like she didn't know how to feel about this, but she was leaning toward disgust.

Ella sighed. "Anyway, Ryuk, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Ryuk. Why are we in the woods?"

Naomi stopped the car. "Near is waiting. We have to pick him up."

Mello groaned. "Oh come on! Do we have to? There's not even enough room in the car!"

Naomi shot him a look. "Don't be a brat. We need him and there is enough room, because Ryuk will be flying above us. Won't you, Ryuk?"

Ryuk saluted lazily. "Sure, why not."

"Thank you." She made eye contact with everyone. "Stay in the car. Matt, could you bandage Ella, please? We need her alive and able to run."

Matt nodded and started rooting around under the seat for a first aid kit.

Mello sat with his arms crossed and his head tilted. "What do I do?"

Naomi stared at him for a moment. "Keep watch."

He grumbled but nodded.

Naomi nodded back and walked away. "If I'm not back with Near in 10 minutes, we're probably dead. Matt will drive you away from here."

Matt gave a thumbs up.

And then she was gone.

Ella flinched as her foot was cleaned. "I can't believe that asshole didn't put my shoes back on for me."

"He kidnapped you. You're lucky he put your clothes back on."

"Still."

After that, Matt patched her up in silence.

Naomi and Near got back as soon as Matt finished. Near climbed in beside him without a word.

Naomi got in and drove.

Ella felt her eyes getting heavy. "Hey, can I sleep?"

"You have a concussion."

"How do you know that, twerp, you just got in here?"

"I'm observant, Mello."

"Tch."

Ella blinked at turned to Matt. "Could you roll your eyes for me? My head hurts too much."

Matt rolled his eyes.

"Thank you."


	22. Actually we're not close to the end sup

Ella was feeling incredibly drowsy by the time they got to headquarters. Near's complete non-reaction to Ryuk in the elevator did help, briefly, but unfortunately it didn't really last.

She looked between them incredulously when Near didn't even blink. "How are you not unnerved by his face?"

Near places a thumb to his mouth. "Shinigami are typically genderless."

Ella blinked quickly and turned to Ryuk. "Hey, Ryuk, what are your preferred pronouns?"

Ryuk shrugged from where he was hanging upside down and spinning in slow circles. "Don't care. That's a human thing."

Ella nodded once slowly. "I'm gonna stick with 'he'."

He blew a raspberry.

Ella turned to Near. "And you?"

"I prefer they/them/their."

Ella blinked again. "Good to know. Not what I meant, though."

They shrugged.

She blinked. "What I meant was—"

"I know what you meant."

Ella stared at them in offense for a moment before she sighed and leaned further into Naomi.

The elevator dinged and opened to an unsettlingly quiet hall.

Mello reached for his gun before Naomi gave him a look and he stopped, glaring.

Ella was pretty sure Near snickered but it might've been the nonexistent air in the insulated building.

Near totally snickered.

Naomi handed Ella off to Matt before going to the correct door and cautiously opening it.

Suddenly it was no longer quiet.

Light looked like he was very close to tearing his hair out. "L, I'm telling you, Mari's gone missing and I—you— _we_ need to send people out to look for her!"

L hummed.

Chief Yagami was standing beside his son. "Light's right. She is a seventeen year old girl, who knows where she could be?"

Ella giggled and stumbled away from Matt. "Here I am! I found me!"

Everyone besides L froze.

Light turned around slowly before running over to her, the absolute picture of concern. He took her hands in a crushing grip, running his thumbs on the back of her hands. "Apple! Oh my god, what _happened_ to you?"

Ella winced. "You're hurting me. Again."

He let go quickly, both of them ignoring the Chief's look of alarm. "Sorry. I just. Are you okay?"

Ella looked at the genuine concern on his face in absolute confusion. She opened her mouth to say something, but Naomi took her by the waist and lead her over to L. "The building in which she was kept is currently still shouldering. Takada Kiyomi is the only identified casualty as of now."

Light sucked in a sharp breath. "Takada? She's in our psychology class. Why was she there?"

Ella stared at him oddly while L nodded and ignored Light. "Thank you. May I ask what the box is for?"

Ella blinked slowly and grinned, ignoring the headache and placing the box on his knees. "A puzzle."

The Whammy kids blocked the door.

Chief Yagami steeled himself.

L opened the box and lifted the notebook.

Ryuk waved at him cheerfully. "Hiya."

L flinched but otherwise had no reaction. "Hello."

Ella looked between them briefly. "Wait, what?"

Light took a step forward, Chief Yagami tackled his son to the ground, and everything went to shit again.

"Dad, what are you—?!"

Ella groaned in both confusion and pain as she was unceremoniously tossed at L so that Naomi's hands were free. "More gunshots? Seriously? This is the second time today."

L stood quickly and threw her over his shoulder, running to the kitchen and throwing her bodily into the oven.

Ella squawked and tried to get out. "What the fuck? This is how you're gonna kill me? This Hansel and Gretel bullshit? What did I—?"

L shoved himself in after her, handed her the notebook, and closed the door. He placed one hand over her mouth and the other on the wall briefly before shoving a small device into her ear. "Mariella, now would be an opportune time for you to learn to, as you say, 'shut up and listen for once'."

The oven dinged and suddenly they were going down. She jerked in surprise. "Mmph!"

L sighed. "Good enough. I am going to die today."

Ella blinked rapidly, trying to tell him in Morse code just how bad that statement was as a start to this conversation.

He tilted his head as the oven stopped. "You milked a whale in Africa? I don't think that's how the song goes."

Ella didn't know Morse code so she gave up on that, kicked the door open, and shoved him out of the oven. She followed quickly and ran to help him up, pulling him toward her by his shirt and planting her feet so she wouldn't fall, ignoring the various points of pain in her body. "Listen up, asshole, I have put far too much work into keeping you alive just to let you say that shit. You're not dying. Also, what the fuck did you put in my ear, weirdo?"

He stared at her. "It's a communication device. You are now connected to Misora."

She blinked. "Neat. And the other part?"

L looked at her carefully. "You wish for my death daily."

Ella rolled her eyes. "That's an exaggeration and also irrelevant. Why do you think you're going to die?"

"Poetic justice."

She stared at him.

He stared back.

She shoved him away from her and rolled her eyes, her headache growing worse by the moment. Don't focus on it. "Fine. Don't tell me. But if I can't die, L Lawlight, you can't either." She snorted. "'Poetic justice' my ass."

Watari and Near came into her line of sight and she turned to them. "What's happening up there? Also, why does L have a Batcave™?"

L went to the computers and started typing while Near settled himself to watch security cameras.

Whammy answered her, leading her to a table of emergency supplies and some suitcases. _What?_ "Kira supporters have infiltrated the building. They are being led by one Amane Misa."

Ella groaned, momentarily distracted. "Fuck, the puzzle."

Whammy nodded and strapped on a pair of goggles, picking up a sniper rifle. "Her motive for including the murder weapon in the box is still unknown, though we suspect it was a poor attempt at shifting the blame onto you."

Ella started shoving things into suitcases as she thought over why that sounded familiar. Her eyes widened. "RYUK!"

The Shinigami materialized next to her, rubbing his ear. "Gah, not so loud, Weirdo."

She looked at him in panic. "Ryuk, why did Misa give me the Death Note?"

Ryuk stared at her for a moment. "You know why already."

She shoved things mindlessly into the cases as she processed this and then she screamed because she didn't know how else to react.

The two who had turned to her when she yelled for Ryuk shared a look.

Whammy spoke calmly. "Ella, what is it?"

She looked at him as Ryuk cackled. "Kira is a fucking idiot."

L hummed. "We don't have time for stating the obvious, though thank you for reminding us."

Ella grimaced. "Ryuk, L, shut up a minute. Whammy, don't shoot me this time. I swear I won't kill anyone here."

Near made a noise. "Oh, she's Kira now."

Ella stared at him incredulously as L stiffened and Whammy cocked his gun. "Yes, what the fuck? Also, still immortal and I'm NOT GOING TO KILL YOU, WHAMMY."

Whammy lowered his gun.

L spoke. "Whammy, go block the entrances and exits."

The man nodded and left their sight.

L kelt his eyes on the computer until he finished whatever he was doing. "Kira."

"Oh, for fucks sake."

L faced her. "I am only going to ask this once. Have you been working with Light since the beginning?"

Ella threw her hands up briefly before continuing to shove things in cases. "No, moron. I'm not even working with him now."

He gripped her shoulders tightly and pulled her to him. "Than why are you his successor? Why not Amane? Why you, of all people, if you haven't been working with him?"

She glared at him with slightly unfocused eyes. "Probably so you'd react exactly like you are instead of focusing on the actual problem."

"What is the actual problem, pray tell?"

She gripped his wrists tightly. "He isn't going to remember _anything_ , L. The boy upstairs has had his memory wiped. As far as he knows, he's innocent. He kidnapped me and suddenly he's worried? I know his face, that was genuine. God, no wonder he was acting weird."

L clenched his teeth and his grip tightened. "That isn't possible. He knows who you are. You and the killings showed up at the same time, that is not a coincidence."

Ella leaned her forehead on his so he couldn't look away. "I will explain all of that, but this is important. Misa had a Shinigami, okay? Said Shinigami died trying to protect her from me and that is how Misa's memory got wiped. This is like that, only—"

"Ryuk isn't dead."

"Yes, exactly. This is voluntary on Light's part. The only ways to forget are to give up ownership of the death note or to kill either the Shinigami or the human."

"We can't kill either of you."

Ella looked at him earnestly. "Guess you're just gonna have to let me help."

L's grip loosened and they pulled away from each other. Ella finished putting clothes and food and weapons and water away. L went back to the computer.

Near sighed. "While you two were… doing _that_ , the Kira supporters got the Chief. Light Yagami is now crying over his body."

Ella's stomach dropped and she pressed a finger to the thing in her ear, ignoring L and Near for now. "Naomi, come in."

"Ella, little busy."

"The Chief was shot, is he dead?"

"No, flesh wound. He might die if he keeps losing blood."

"Get him to medical. Ask Light for help, he doesn't remember anything."

"What?!"

Ella growled. "Do it! And be careful."

A sigh and a crack. "On it. Out."

Ella sighed and turned back to the boys. "You're all packed."

L hummed. "You're coming with us."

"And Naomi?"

"Obviously."

Ella sighed again, more aggressively. "Fine. _We're_ all packed. Thought this doesn't look like enough for everyone."

"We have more supplies at the safe house."

Near sighed back. "If you two have intercourse in any vehicle while I'm in it I will electrocute you and leave your bodies in the wilderness."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Fuck off, literally everything you just said is illegal."

"Naked."

Ella stuck her tongue out.

L didn't dignify either of them with a response. "Whammy, when the opportunity arises, take Light Yagami and bring him to the meeting place. Misora will bring Matt and Mello."

"Yes, sir."

Ella felt her legs give out before she felt nothing.


End file.
